Rachel Bilson’s Baby Sadly Isn’t Named ‘Darth’ Anything

darth vader summer robertsSummer Roberts and Darth Vader had a baby together and named it Briar Rose, code name for Disney Princess Aurora of Sleeping Beauty, which is barely Star Wars-related and completely un-O.C.ified. (Was really hoping for Darth Roberts, Summer Vader or Darth Mall.)

Briar Rose, otherwise known as B-Rose, enjoys long walks on the pier, pouting, gingerbread lattes and electrocuting people with her chubby fingertips.

At this point, Hayden Christensen needed the baby to at least secure child support payments from Bilson once she divorces him for COMMISSIONER GORDON.

It’s a Darth, Darth Summer, leaving me here on my own…

241 Babies Named ‘Khaleesi’ Last Year

dragon baby mobileGame of Thrones is SO popular, you can’t even look through a window without seeing your conservative neighbors licking cherry syrup off each other in Khal Drogo and Daenerys outfits.

It’s the most pirated show of all time, it’s getting its own video game, Stark daughters Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner are reigning queens of social media, and people are naming their damn children after characters on the show.

According to the Social Security Administration, 1135 parents in America named their newborns “Arya” in 2013 and 241 went with “Khaleesi,” after the mother of dragons.

Man, pretty much any baby with that name is going to be a huge disappointment. Oh, Khaleesi said her first words today? Khaleesi used the big girl potty for the first time?? Took her first step? CALL ME WHEN SHE’S TAKING THOSE STEPS INTO A FIRE WITH THREE PETRIFIED DRAGON EGGS!!  Continue reading “241 Babies Named ‘Khaleesi’ Last Year”

‘Khaleesi’ is Becoming a Popular U.S. Name

Khaleesi blonde hairOn a scale of 1 to 10, how weird is Khaleesi (Ka-lease-ee) as a name for current and future earth-dwelling beings? Weird or not, it’s happening. According to babynamewizard.com exactly 146 Khaleesis were born in 2012.

It’s not exactly the worst Game of Thrones-inspired name. Out of all the characters, Khaleesi — played by Emilia Clarke on the HBO series — and Arya (another newly popular name) are two of the less morally corrupt.

Granted Khaleesi, which means “queen” in the fictional language of Dothraki, does eat a horse heart, and her ultimate goal is to see Lannister heads burnt by dragons and put on spikes, but she is mostly kind with good motives.

(At least “Joffrey,” “Cersei,” “Walder,” “Hodor” and “Eddard” didn’t make the list.)
Emilia Clarke eyebrowsEmilia Clarke eyebrows gif gifsKhaleesi without wig gif
I actually kind of like the name Cersei, and I guess there’d be low expectations. Like if the kid didn’t turn out to be a selfish, husband-murdering brother-f*cking sea hag you’d be proud.  Continue reading “‘Khaleesi’ is Becoming a Popular U.S. Name”