Funny Video: Coachella Hipsters and Hippies Excited About Bands That Don’t Exist

Fallon may have the edge on Kimmel in the house band and game departments, but Kimmel’s competing side-by-side for viral video segments like the one seen here. (And January’s Matt Damon takeover)

In Coachella edition of Lie Witness News, airhead music fans are asked about various non-existent bands like Dr. Shlomo and the G.I. Clinic, The Chelsea Clintons, and Shorty Jizzle and the Plumbercracks.
Coachella hipster Lie Witness News gif Jimmy KimmelThe bikini and indian headdress-wearing snobs’ first instinct is to say how excited they are to see them perform even though they’ve never heard of them. Watch and laugh till DJ Cornmeal comes out your nose.

Taylor Swift Removes Hipster Testicles With Rusty Acoustic Guitar Strings

In an interview with The Guardian Taylor Swift talks about all the things you’d expect her to talk about – fairy tales, boys, youth, and hipsters.

She tells the publication that the line “And you, will hide away and find your piece of mind with some indie record that’s much cooler than mine” from “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is inspired by a guy who despised the mainstream.

That was the most important line of the song. It was a relationship where I felt very critiqued and subpar. He’d listen to this music that nobody had heard of … but as soon as anyone else liked these bands, he’d drop them. I felt that was a strange way to be a music fan. And I couldn’t understand why he would never say anything nice about the songs I wrote or the music I made.  Continue reading “Taylor Swift Removes Hipster Testicles With Rusty Acoustic Guitar Strings”

Tentative Futures For Both Blur And Gorillaz

The only two people in the world that would be happy about Blur and The Gorillaz no longer making music are the Gallagher brothers.

You heard right, Damon Albarn may be calling it quits on both of his beloved bands.

He told The Guardian that Blur’s performance on closing night (August 12) of the Summer Olympics at Hyde Park in London will likely be their last. When asked if there would be future shows he said “no, not really” and:

“I hope that’s the truth: that that’s how we end it. I don’t know: you can write scripts, and they always end up going…well, one thing I’ve learned is that everything I think I’ve got totally sorted out, and I know exactly what’s going to happen, never works out that way.”  Continue reading “Tentative Futures For Both Blur And Gorillaz”

Did Steve Jobs Disapprove Of Contemporary Music?

According to his iPod selection (it was dissected in his new biography, by Walter Isaacson) and several quotes, Steve Jobs was not that interested in today’s musical stylings. He much preferred 60’s and 70’s music.

Bob Dylan was by far his favorite musician (his iPod contained 21 Dylan albums) who he also looked up to, someone he may have learned “constant innovation” from.

So if innovation is what kept Apple alive through the years, can we attribute the company’s success to Bob Dylan? No, not completely. But it’s still intriguing.

Continue reading “Did Steve Jobs Disapprove Of Contemporary Music?”

10 Bands That Suck Live

1. Fall Out Boy. ANY performance on Youtube of these now-defunct emo-pop rockers will prove to you that Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz should be called fall-apart-live-boy. It’s an open-ended nightmare of out-of-breath singing accompanied by mediocre guitar playing, out of sync bass and incomprehensibly bad drumming. I’ve literally seen little girls beating on buckets with spoons that sound better.

2. The Black Eyed Peas. Besides the fact that none of the four members do anything on stage except jump into the air and slap their hands together like those cymbal-banging monkey toys, Fergie’s range is horribly halted. Just check out their Superbowl performance. It’s a tragedy.

3. Ke$ha. It was proven to me finally on SNL that Ke$ha is mind-blowingly embaressing on stage. She lacks all of the charisma you experience when listening to her on CD, the robotic voice, the energy, it’s all gone in concert. All you’re left with is a blonde lion standing on stage in a spandex bodysuit that glows in the dark. Throw in some strobe lights for bad measure. It’s still not worth $60 dollars.

4. Blondie. The fact that some of the most memorable, most sampled songs belong to this iconic 80’s band doesn’t negate the fact that Deborah Harry cannot sing live, or that the band sounds looser than Octomom’s vagina. The songs “Call Me,” “One Way Or Another” and “Heart Of Glass” all play out like some above average cover band that you could see for free in a summer concert series in your local park (This is what happens when you sleep with your entire band, Debbie, no one can focus).

5. No Doubt. I love No Doubt and Gwen Stefani as much as the next person. The band is talented and so is Gwen but her live singing is really bubbly and awkward at times. She changes the whole original flow of the songs by “rapping” certain parts. In the end No Doubt disappoints in concert because you just expect so much more. Gwen needs to stop doing push-ups and focus on vocalizing.

Continue reading “10 Bands That Suck Live”

Top 6 Indie Bands To Watch For In 2011

Let’s face it, 2010 wasn’t the greatest year for indie bands. Besides Broken Bells, not many emerged, and it was mostly about semi-established bands being rediscovered by the masses. This held true for Florence & The Machine, whose album actually debuted in mid-2009. Also Mumford & Sons, Metric, Arcade Fire, MGMT, Phoenix and Bon Iver, all very known in the indie community previous to 2010, were the talk of award shows, and varying esteemed music lists of last year.

2011 is another story, not only are there the usual hoards of bands trying to make it, some of them have a LOT of potential for the same sort of indie sellout glory that Mumford & Sons achieved. I can only hope that “Little Lion Man” will be replaced by the Sonic-Youth influenced sounds of Yuck, or the experimental wailings tUnE-yArDs or the retro jazz clap ‘n snap of Caro Emerald, whose early 2010 debut has yet to even be released officially in the U.S.

Most of these contenders formed fairly recently and released CDs this year, with the exception of Emerald’s Deleted Scenes From The Cutting Floor.

Continue reading “Top 6 Indie Bands To Watch For In 2011”