Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won

Joe Flacco trophyFrom a blackout (which would’ve been the 49ers’ MVP if they’d won) that was either caused by Ray Lewis’ tears or Beyonce’s hairdryer, to a near San Francisco comeback, Super Bowl XLVII turned out to be pretty eventful.

Here’s a late breakdown:

I’m slightly ashamed to admit that a commercial featuring a baby Budweiser Clydesdale somehow made me cry more than Jennifer Hudson’s performance with 26 children from Sandy Hook elementary.

Alicia Keys (who should have switched with J-Hud) sat at her piano and gave us the jazzy low-risk version of the National Anthem.  Continue reading “Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won”

The Best/Worst Halloween Costumes Of 2012

I love Halloween for the candy corn, roasted pumpkin seeds, and horror movies even though lately I’ve come to expect only disappointing Paranormal Activity and Saw sequels.

October is national Bullying Awareness Month, so I urge you to not throw rubber insulin needles at the 4,000 people who will incur diabetes on this day, mostly because one of them could be me.

I’m not wondering what I should dress up as this year, because I’ve been interested in avoiding attention-drawing activities ever since I was a wallflower egg hiding from aggressive fist-pumping sperm in my mother’s fallopian tubes.

Continue reading “The Best/Worst Halloween Costumes Of 2012”

Seinfeld’s Nemesis is New York’s Reckoning

Credit for this photo goes to the people at Vulture.com and their article “See How A Bane Mask Makes Any Villain Look Scarier.” Turns out, the Dark Knight’s #1 enemy in 2012 is The Dark Wayne Knight aka Newman on Seinfeld.

Other mask memes include Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears PradaDownton Abbey’s maid O’Brien, and the dreaded Hamburglar.

When I saw Batman I felt like Tom Hardy was competing with Christian Bale for weirdest vocal alteration. Hardy kind of sounded like a leprechaun with really low-hanging balls and Bale was just hobbling around in a hole for most of the movie.  Continue reading “Seinfeld’s Nemesis is New York’s Reckoning”

Rush Limbaugh Musings: ‘The Dark Knight Lights Up’ Is One Of Dem Conspiracy Thingys!

Rush Limbaugh offered up his opinion on The Dark Knight Rises during his thought-provoking radio show Tuesday morning.

Apparently the movie, which he refers to as “The Dark Knight Lights Up,” is an intricate conspiracy to make Mitt Romney look bad worse.

“Have you heard this new movie, the Batman movie, what is it, The Dark Knight Lights Up or whatever the name is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises. Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e.”

What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain.”  Continue reading “Rush Limbaugh Musings: ‘The Dark Knight Lights Up’ Is One Of Dem Conspiracy Thingys!”

Since When Does Batman Sweat Outside His Suit?

The third set of stills from The Dark Knight Rises have come out and I’m a little curious about one picture in particular, where an assistant/Nolan lackey is dabbing Batman’s head with a cloth.

Is the suit sweating? Was there a stain on it? Was it not shiny enough?

Whatever the reason, it looks like a waste of time. You know what DOESN’T look like a waste of time? This epic fight scene between Baleman and Bane (Tom Hardy) near the Occupy Wall Street riots!

Government bailouts? BIFF. No health insurance? BAM. Student loans? THWACK. Damp tent? POW.

I’d really like to see that deep-voiced nutsack Batman taken down a notch for screwing over America/Gotham and letting Rachel Dawes die.

On a random note, the more I see Anne Hathaway in that Star Fleet costume the more I wish someone would put her in a bag and toss her in a lake. (Catwoman not Anne, they’re different, right?)

Continue reading “Since When Does Batman Sweat Outside His Suit?”