Bodily Newsflash: Justin Bieber Spitting on Others Makes Me Puke on Myself

justin bieber spitting on fans What a surprise. On Thursday Justin Bieber spit on his fans — the very people who brought him to the current level of success that allows him to stand on fancy balconies — in Toronto. From NY Daily News:

The 19-year-old tween idol turned bad boy was caught on camera hawking a mouthful of saliva over a hotel balcony in Toronto Thursday – as a throng of Beliebers were gathered outside to catch a glimpse of their hero.

The pictures, which were first flagged by TMZ.com, show an unidentified friend of the Biebs laughing at the crude prank.

Sweet potato Jesus, I hate when people call Justin Bieber a “bad boy.” He’s bad like a baby grasping at sharp cabinet drawers or putting pennies in his mouth, but he’s not exactly Mickey fucking Rourke.

Continue reading “Bodily Newsflash: Justin Bieber Spitting on Others Makes Me Puke on Myself”

Hopefully Coco Chanel Would Have Been a Belieber…

Justin bieber chanel mask Justin Bieber‘s favorite thing besides pillow fights, facials (at the spa, pervs), convincing his fans they have a shot with him and throwing his tiny Borrower/Indian in the Cupboard arms at giants, is mask shopping.

Bieber has a wide assortment of the things, and while past favorites have including the harder gold and gas variety, his latest is a Chanel ski mask.

Writing “Channel” instead of “Chanel” seems forgivable considering what a hard time the kid has had lately with cough syrup, weed, car crashes, Selena Gomez, the paparazzi… OH WAIT, he’s a teenage billionaire. Nobody cares.

Justin Bieber’s New Hair Made Him Grow Ovaries, Boobies and a Lemon Fresh Vagina

Justin bieber side shaveThe Sun and Mirror Online called Justin Bieber‘s new side-shave haircut “girly,” “dodgy” and “weird” in their headlines.

The nickname “Justin Bieb-Her” and Rihanna and Miley Cyrus copycat comments even inspired Inquisitr to write a 600 word editorial on why it’s not okay to call him a puny lesbian. (I’m sure Justin appreciated the comparisons to The Beatles and Nirvana).

I was going to say the hair (more of a lack of gel than an actual cut?) reminded me of Martin Gore, Vanilla Ice, or that guy from Diamond Rings, but that’s insulting to all of them.

Justin, you’ve always been a girl to me. A really irritating, overly manicured, ill-tempered bitch of a girl with 16 million fake Twitter followers. Puke.

Justin Bieber ‘Trying To Be Better’ After Joint-Smoking Photos

Justin Bieber alleged drugJustin Bieber partied it up in a Newport Beach hotel sans Selena January 2, talking about fast food while holding a joint disguised as a cigarette.

TMZ has photos and details about the guest list – which included a random female “friend” who slept over, and rapper Lil’ Twist (who we now know was driving Bieber’s Ferrari when paparazzo Chris Guerra was struck by oncoming traffic).

Justin took to Twitter hours after the images went viral, writing “Everyday growing and learning. trying to be better. u get knocked down, u get up,” which is very similar to every other message the Biebs delivers when he’s involved in a scandal. Continue reading “Justin Bieber ‘Trying To Be Better’ After Joint-Smoking Photos”

Egos Of A Mayweather Flock Together

Try and deny that Justin Bieber has an ego more inflated than an elephant’s hernia, go ahead. For that matter, try and find a kid his age who isn’t a selfish twat to begin with, regardless of the Elvis-esque hysteria.

I’m not defending him. His music is as feminine as his lips and former haircut and his attitude is…expected but not welcomed. But he does have an ego.

And who could I compare this ego to? Why, his new friend – fighter Floyd Mayweather.

According to TMZ, Justin Bieber feels that Mayweather, notorious for his no-holds-barred cockiness , is “misunderstood.” Floyd reached out to Justin after viewing Never Say Never and is now his “mentor.”  Continue reading “Egos Of A Mayweather Flock Together”

Justin Bieber’s Message To Mariah Yeater

Remember Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama, Mariah Yeater? The crazy-eyed fan that told a lurid tale of a backstage dalliance with a 16 year-old Justin at Staples Center. In November she demanded a paternity test and $12,000 a month. Nobody took her seriously because that would that have qualified as statutory rape and she was clearly unstable.

Photos of plastic-wrap around her face, rumors that she was hanging out with the true father of her baby, and the fact that she dropped the whole case after Justin volunteered to take the paternity test seemed to prove as much.

Well, for some reason he decided that six months later (Saturday) was the perfect time to poke fun at her by writing, “Dear mariah yeeter…we have never met…so from the heart i just wanted to say…”

Continue reading “Justin Bieber’s Message To Mariah Yeater”