Australian Billionaire To Build Titanic II

Famous investor and owner of Mineralogy, Clive Palmer of Queensland, is planning on building a more modern version of the Titanic, called Titanic II. Oddly not a reference that straight-to-DVD sequel from 2010.

I have a sinking feeling about this one. And now so do you, concerning my Laffy Taffy jokes.

Besides it having “state-of-the-art 21st century technology and the latest navigation and safety systems” which Palmer mentioned in a statement, it will be constructed in China and not Ireland, like it’s cursed ancestor. It will, however, have the same dimensions and a course from England to New York sometime in 2016.

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Paris Hilton Made Over A Billion Dollars On Perfume Alone

“Jealousy” is not just a song by Paris Hilton, it’s an emotion that comes up when you hear how much money she makes. Besides being a billionaire heiress with just her family’s hotel money, Paris told FHM UK that her fragrances alone have produced more than $1.3 billion since 2005.

What else is new with Paris? She has brown hair. Way more shocking than the wages she garnished from scentless slaves in China. She also revealed to FHM UK that “British guys are really different to the guys in America.” She must have noticed their accents and lack of circumcisions and a non-compact fluorescent bulb went off.

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