Blue Ivy Has a Face (With a Mouth and Eyes!)

Blue Ivy Carter faceJay-Z and Beyonce may soon be able to retire and live off a steady income generated by road dog, friend and daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. Before birth, the announcement of Ivy’s existence almost broke Google and Twitter and made the 2011 VMAs the most watched in MTV’s history…

After birth, BIC’s heartbeat and screams on “Glory” helped her become the youngest person credited on a Billboard-charting song (watch the throne, Quvenzhané Wallis). Now her face, which we already saw last February, is causing a succinct, universal “awwww.”

Crashing servers left and right is Ivy’s unimpressed upside-down smile, taken from the HBO documentary, Life is But a Dream. Looks familiar, huh?

Maya Rudolph Spoofs Beyonce In Blue Ivy Carter Skit

The most recent episode of Saturday Night Live was a highlight of the season and perhaps the past three years as well. I’d rank it right up there with the Justin Timberlake/Lady Gaga episode.

One memorable moment (of many) was the Beyonce baby skit, which was an excuse not only for Jay Pharoah to do his Jay-Z impression and for Maya Rudolph to reprise her role as Beyonce but for a bevvy of “celebrities” to congratulate them.

Justin Timberlake came out as Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon saying “Sorry I’m late, whatever…I fashioned this guitar out of a canoe” and singing something indiscernible about a ferris wheel. Continue reading “Maya Rudolph Spoofs Beyonce In Blue Ivy Carter Skit”

Baby Photo Alert – Blue Ivy Not-So-Hard-Knock-Life Carter

The royal R&B baby reveal day is finally here, after, well, not that long. On a Tumblr page dedicated specifically to their daughter, Beyonce and Jay-Z wrote the message,

“We welcome you to share in our joy. Thank you for respecting our privacy during this beautiful time in our lives.”

So far, they’ve posted five pictures. Two of the baby with its thick quaife of Indian emo hair, one of its hand and one with each parent, both smiling.

Perhaps they know they just birthed a double diva baby, whose name they just filed to trademark, mostly to avoid other greedy bastards from capitalizing on the “Blue Ivy Carter” moniker. (Two applicants already attempted but were rightfully rejected)

Continue reading “Baby Photo Alert – Blue Ivy Not-So-Hard-Knock-Life Carter”

Beyonce And Jay-Z Add To The Off-Kilter Baby Name Trend

Hopefully you all aren’t relying on me to report on every happening in the celebrity world, or else you are missing a lot. I just can’t be responsible for that, I mean, I’d like to not be entirely to blame for vacuuming away all your brain cells and mine as well. I know you heard that Beyonce had her baby, that’s why I didn’t write about it.

I also know that people are making a slight stink about the name “Blue Ivy Carter” but it’s really not that bad if you take others into consideration. The real problem is that it’s adding to a trend that has gotten more than just out of control. This isn’t just like those rose bushes outside Sleeping Beauty’s vacation home. You know, the ones that Maleficent lady forgot to trim, probably because of her skin condition.

Continue reading “Beyonce And Jay-Z Add To The Off-Kilter Baby Name Trend”