E! Says Beyonce is, Like, Pregnant Again, For Sure

Beyonce surprise faceE! News’ “most read” article today is, unsurprisingly, one confirming that Beyonce is pregnant with her second child. This means she’ll pop out a beautiful baby (likely the subject of her next HBO special) named Green Violet sometime next winter.

(Hard to be excited for her when SOME people are having their breasts and ovaries removed.)

Clues include a concert cancellation (for dehydration and exhaustion), one stomach-concealing Givenchy dress, and the interviews Beyonce gave right after she gave birth to Blue Ivy. The ones where she said Jay-Z and her weren’t done making sweet unprotected love on a rug made of ground-up Destiny’s Child members. The Hobbit Ring humor Beyonce Single Ladies Beyonce’s “I’m about to have another baby” dance goes something like this...

Blue Ivy Has a Face (With a Mouth and Eyes!)

Blue Ivy Carter faceJay-Z and Beyonce may soon be able to retire and live off a steady income generated by road dog, friend and daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. Before birth, the announcement of Ivy’s existence almost broke Google and Twitter and made the 2011 VMAs the most watched in MTV’s history…

After birth, BIC’s heartbeat and screams on “Glory” helped her become the youngest person credited on a Billboard-charting song (watch the throne, Quvenzhané Wallis). Now her face, which we already saw last February, is causing a succinct, universal “awwww.”

Crashing servers left and right is Ivy’s unimpressed upside-down smile, taken from the HBO documentary, Life is But a Dream. Looks familiar, huh?

Beyonce For Vogue, March 2013

Beyonce Vogue 2013 Before her big night(s) at the Super Bowl and Grammys (to which she wore a similarly underwhelming black and white trouser and top combo), Beyonce did an interview with Vogue that generated a headline about Blue Ivy being her best and only friend in the world.

This is not entirely true. Vogue did in fact incorporate unique quotes from pals like Gemini’s Twin member Kelly Rowland, mother Tina Knowles, Alicia Keys (who said she has “more power than any woman”) and Gwyneth Paltrow (friends with everybody). GQ did the same thing in their extra strange interview with Bey, enlisting Solange for what felt like half the interview.

Maybe Beyonce just isn’t filling enough space on the page? Here are the parts she did fill in, with crayons, for Vogue’s March issue…  Continue reading “Beyonce For Vogue, March 2013”

‘OG Blue Ivy’ Marijuana? Jay-Z Should Be Proud

TMZ is reporting that Beyonce and Jay-Z’s baby has inspired her own strain of Mary J.

“Multiple weed dispensaries in Hollywood are cashing in on hip hop’s baby princess…by selling a new strain of marijuana called ‘OG Blue Ivy.'”

So, she’s drawing comparisons to the devil himself (already the sign of a megastar) appears in her dad’s infantile new song “Glory” AND now this? Honored by pot smokers all over California and presumedly in other cities as well?

Daddy must be proud. I wonder what other celebrity babies would double as good weed names? Kingston Rossdale might work.

Beyonce And Jay-Z Add To The Off-Kilter Baby Name Trend

Hopefully you all aren’t relying on me to report on every happening in the celebrity world, or else you are missing a lot. I just can’t be responsible for that, I mean, I’d like to not be entirely to blame for vacuuming away all your brain cells and mine as well. I know you heard that Beyonce had her baby, that’s why I didn’t write about it.

I also know that people are making a slight stink about the name “Blue Ivy Carter” but it’s really not that bad if you take others into consideration. The real problem is that it’s adding to a trend that has gotten more than just out of control. This isn’t just like those rose bushes outside Sleeping Beauty’s vacation home. You know, the ones that Maleficent lady forgot to trim, probably because of her skin condition.

Continue reading “Beyonce And Jay-Z Add To The Off-Kilter Baby Name Trend”