‘I’ve Seen Bigger,’ Says 2008’s Nelson Evora To 2012’s Henrik Rummel

A U.S. rower named Henrik Rummel is attracting attention for more than just the bronze medal he received. During the medal ceremony for the coxless four (the jokes really do write themselves) he was photographed with what everyone thought was a boner.

Rummel went straight to the source of the rumors (the Reddit comment section) to deny them. “This is me and I swear it’s not erect! I don’t know why it ended up in that position but there you go,” he wrote under the username “Rummelator.”

Well, American rower with possible wood, I see your coxless whatever and raise you a Portuguese track and field star with bigger, potentially paralyzing wood.  Continue reading “‘I’ve Seen Bigger,’ Says 2008’s Nelson Evora To 2012’s Henrik Rummel”

Jeremy Renner’s Friends Slipped Him A Viagra

Jeremy Renner thought he was taking an Ambien on an 11-hour flight from Los Angeles to London recently, turns out it was Hugh Hefner’s favorite thing to eat before he goes hunting for girls one-fourth his age.

Yep, Renner’s friends slipped him the little blue erectile dysfunction pill known as Viagra.

“I had to sleep,” the Bourne Legacy actor told Jimmy Kimmel“So somebody gave me some pills, like the Ambien, so great, take a little sleeping pill, pop it and realized nothing’s happening – but something else is happening.”

“I realize very quickly that that ‘a’ was actually a little ‘v.’ Not only did I not sleep the entire flight, but there was ‘camping’  happening!” 

So my question is, who wouldn’t want to share a plane with hard-hat Hawkeye? If not for humor’s sake, then to have blackmail photos. Continue reading “Jeremy Renner’s Friends Slipped Him A Viagra”

Man Left With Permanent Boner After Penile Tattoo

Do you think I just make up these headlines? I don’t. Well actually, I “make them up” based on actual stories that only continue to surprise me. Here’s the truth, a 21 year-old man in Iran decided to get part of his girlfriend’s last name plus the words “good luck on your journeys” in his native Farsi.

Getting genital tattoos isn’t all that common to begin with but it’s much more common than what followed. A week after his ink-job, the man was left with a partial boner that would not go away. Hmm, I guess we all define the word “luck” differently.

Continue reading “Man Left With Permanent Boner After Penile Tattoo”

Outkast’s Big Boi Arrested On Crazy Drug Charges

One part of Outkast was arrested today in Miami and charged with one count of paraphernalia possession and three counts of controlled substance possession. 36 year old Antwan Patton aka Big Boi was booked at about 1:30 pm  on a $16,000 bond, according to the Florida authorities.

The real juice here is the drugs he had on him, which were found by customs/border patrol dogs. MDMA powder (crushed ectascy) ecstasy tablets AND unprescribed viagra. Whoa. Boi likes to partyyyyy. Apparently while “rolling” with a boner. Ouch.

The contraband was found in his luggage. And his lawyer, Daniel Kane, already issued a statement on his client’s behalf:

“While Big Boi was traveling with his group and friends, a small amount of contraband was found in the collective luggage…I am confident when the entire facts are aired Big Boi will be completely exonerated.”

Hmmmm… Hopefully this won’t impact that new Outkast material with Andre 3000 we’ve been hearing about.