Justin Bieber ‘Races’ at 30 Miles an Hour

Justin Bieber basketball instagramLike Paris, Britney, Lindsay and Amanda before him, Justin Bieber is under a microscope. Not because no one can seem to find his enlarged clitoris, but because he is, in the words of Joel McHale, “a fucking idiot.”

TMZ has been poking around for follow-ups to accompany the news of his DUI arrest and so far they’ve uncovered a video of the Biebs driving slower than a slug in a wheelchair. At a mere 27 miles per hour, Justina Bebeur may just be the worst drag racer of all time. Sad because fatalities usually occur at higher speeds.

We’re also learned that the award for having female genitalia and riding in cars with little famous boys is getting paid to do “webcam events” and stripping for Michael Lohan lesser-known celebs at Scores.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber ‘Races’ at 30 Miles an Hour”

BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment

Amanda Bynes short hairAmanda Bynes has no hair, no sanity, and according to her, no bong.

After being arrested and charged with unlawful possession of marijuana and reckless endangerment for allegedly throwing a bong out the window of her Manhattan apartment, Bynes tweeted that she doesn’t do drugs at all.

“I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life! I need to get another nose job after seeing my mugshot,” she wrote.

Amanda showed up to court in a messy blonde wig looking like Smurfette after an incestual gangbang.

So… Her shopping list now includes a new bong, more rhinoplasty and a better toupee?  Continue reading “BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment”