Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring

cargo container train car The Walking Dead finale
As anyone with a TV, Facebook or even the most snail-paced internet connection knows – The Walking Dead season 4 finale was on last night.

Considering how uneventful and equally or less exciting than every other non-finale episode, I’m baffled by the amount of websites that called it “shocking,” “exciting” and “brutal.” (Spoilers ahead.)

Carl almost getting raped? – not shocking because we knew it would never happen. Rick being reunited with the gang? – not shocking because we knew it would happen. Rick taking advice from a dead man…? No.
Rick and Daryl season 4 finale still
The real shocker was that nobody died. Not Glenn (dead in the comic) or Maggie (what I expected) or even the new characters, and that the craziest events of the season didn’t occur when the gang ended up trapped in a train car together, but two episodes ago, when crazy-eyed Lizzie exclaimed “Don’t worry, she’ll come back. I didn’t hurt her brain,” after murdering her younger sister.  Continue reading “Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring”

Tiger Woods’ 5-Iron Officially Entangled in Lindsey Vonn’s Poles

Tiger Woods Lindsey Vonn facebook Sexting and golf champ Tiger Woods and injury-prone skier Lindsey Vonn confirmed the worst-kept secret that is their relationship by posting joint his and her statements along with a series of cheesy looking-off-into-the-distance photos on best-platform-for-secret-shattering Facebook.

Both made sure to mention that their friendship blossomed into a sporty romance in recent months, possibly because she was still technically married to Thomas Vonn up until January 9.

The couple also clarified that no one is frickin’ allowed to ask them about the intimate details. 

Continue reading “Tiger Woods’ 5-Iron Officially Entangled in Lindsey Vonn’s Poles”

The Killers’ Animated ‘Miss Atomic Bomb’ Video is a Real Deuce-Dropper

Brandon Flowers Miss Atomic Bomb 1Don’t even try to ask me for a timeline of when The Killers got boring. It was so long ago, I can barely recall. Even though Sam’s Town was a good CD, I know that it is partially to blame (his wife, Bono and Chris Martin too).

That’s right about when Brandon Flowers started spewing nonsense about the music being made for arena shows, which would be totally great if he didn’t have the stage presence of mosquito with no wings.

In this boredom-inducing sequel to “Mr. Brightside, Miss Atomic Bomb bursts out of cartoon form and into the reality of Flowers standing on a motorcycle in front of the largest beaming white moon you’ve ever seen.

Continue reading “The Killers’ Animated ‘Miss Atomic Bomb’ Video is a Real Deuce-Dropper”

‘American Idol’ Judge Fight, Round One – Nicki Minaj Vs. Mariah Carey

Nicki Minaj brought Queens, New York to American Idol during an audition in Charlotte where she said she refuses to put up with “her royal fucking highness” Mariah Carey, who she also calls “boring as fuck.”

See and hear it for yourself over at TMZ. There’s a partially audible video of Nicki going crazy, saying things like “if you say one more disrespectful thing to me … off with your head!” 

During an argument that began over a contestant’s performance in North Carolina, Carey’s cool-headed attitude only seemed to send Nicki into more of a full-force, highly escalated rage.  Continue reading “‘American Idol’ Judge Fight, Round One – Nicki Minaj Vs. Mariah Carey”

And The ‘Most Unfortunate’ Town Name Goes To…

Arkansas has been awarded the sad and unimportant title of state with the most unfortunate town name. “Toad Suck” in Perry County wins the honor, beating out Assawoman, Maryland, Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky and Boring, Oregon (I’ve been there and now understand why people have opiate addictions).

The family history website Findmypast.com conducted the poll, asking residents of several countries including the U.S., U.K., Canada, and Australia for their opinions on a multiple choice questionnaire.

Toad Suck is so abysmally uninteresting that the town’s commerce website says they earn their name because old-time steamboat captains visited the tavern and would ‘suck on the bottle ’til they swell up like toads.’  Continue reading “And The ‘Most Unfortunate’ Town Name Goes To…”

Jermaine Paul Is Too Much Like Javier Colon

Another champion of The Voice was crowned on Tuesday and, as was true with season one, the other contestants proved far more interesting than the winner. Season one’s Javier Colon and Jermaine Paul have far too much in common…

I’m not just talking about the fact that they’re both black, Jamar Rogers could have won (though Juliet Simms ending up representing team Cee Lo) and would have had nothing in common with Paul. The two winners being men with similar tones, styles, range and song choices has everything to do with it. Excellent singers but boring as all hell.  Continue reading “Jermaine Paul Is Too Much Like Javier Colon”

Punk’d Is Back, Minus The Excitement

In other semi Ashton Kutcher-related news Punk’d is back after a five year absence and it’s boring as hell. I don’t know why they use the expression, “boring as hell,” the harps and clouds description of heaven seems a little tamer and possibly snoozeworthy.

Back on topic, Kutcher is still attached as a producer but its co-creator Jason Goldberg was actually in Thursday’s episode. Justin Bieber was the guest pranker, pulling the wool over Taylor Swift, Miley Cryus, Rob Dyrdek and Sean Kingston’s eyes.

The most memorable but still uninteresting trick was when Taylor Swift was made to think she’d lit a boat on fire. The Bieb’s got his evil wish to see her I-just-won-a-Grammy face and make her cry.

Continue reading “Punk’d Is Back, Minus The Excitement”

Kanye and Jay-Z Debut Boring New “Otis” Video

Look man, I already heard this song last month and found it boring, now Kanye and Jay-Z have released “Otis” as a video, and it’s still boring. Kanye West  hasn’t excited me in ages, not to mention I am 1,000% sure that he only actually release two songs from each album that are even capable of musically interesting the general non-fanatical community.

Continue reading “Kanye and Jay-Z Debut Boring New “Otis” Video”