Johnny Depp’s Inspiration for Tonto Was an Old, Nicotine-Addicted Woman?

Johnny Depp tontoBasing a character off Keith Richards in Pirates may have worked wonders for Johnny Depp, but it seems that even using his great, potentially Native grandmother as the inspiration for The Lone Ranger couldn’t save it from an epic box office fail. (At $29.2M, it made slightly less than the abysmal John Carter.)

“I saw my great grandmother [as the model for Tonto]. She did apparently have quite a bit of Indian blood,” Depp told Wenn. “She wore the braids and had the tobacco down her bosom. That was the idea, to sculpt me into my great grandmother. The make-up technician just killed it.”

Derp. I have a little Swedish in me and I never auditioned against Noomi Rapace for the role of Lisbeth Salander not only because I’m not an actress but because that would be retarded…  Continue reading “Johnny Depp’s Inspiration for Tonto Was an Old, Nicotine-Addicted Woman?”

‘Man of Steel’ Kills At Box Office, Doesn’t Wow Critics

Henry Cavill superman costume
Man of Steel’s scored a massive $113 million at the box office over the weekend but failed to impress the majority of critics and nerds, who complained about it not being as humorous as Thor, Amy Adams’ non-brown hair and Henry Cavill smoldering too much for their fragile eyes.

The biggest flaw cited was the apparent lack of fun. Richard Roeper wrote“There’s very little humor or joy in this Superman story, and not enough character development for us really to care.”

I beg to differ. The scene where tiny Clark Kent locks himself in a closet at school because he’s overwhelmed by the sight of his classmate’s nasal cavities made me care about him and his earth mama Martha (Diane Lane), who consoles him through the door as he tells her that the world is just too big.
kevin costner man of steel
The opening scene on Krypton made me care about his birthparents Lara (Ayelet Zurer) and Jor-El (Russell Crowe), and every scene with Kevin Costner (especially the one with the tornado) made my eyes water because it was Father’s Day and mine’s dead. (Just kidding, I’m mostly fine.)  Continue reading “‘Man of Steel’ Kills At Box Office, Doesn’t Wow Critics”

Super Gory, R-Rated ‘Evil Dead’ Slays Box Office

Jessica Lucas Evil Dead
Comedies, dramas and action films rated “R” by the MPAA have a notoriously hard time at the box office. Horror movies, even more so.

The ones that have fared well with the Restricted rating had directors like Martin Scorsese (Shutter Island) and/or were nominated for Academy Awards (The Exorcist, Silence of the Lambs).

Usually there’s a certain lack of credibility that adult audiences tend to skip. That was not the case for Fede Alvarez’s remake of Evil Deadwhich came in #1 and made $26 millionContinue reading “Super Gory, R-Rated ‘Evil Dead’ Slays Box Office”

Spring Breakers’ Box Office Bomb: Why Onscreen Butts Don’t Equal Butts in the Seats

Spring Breakers ButtsSpring Breakers‘ $5 million, 6th place weekend box office spot isn’t exactly a loss. The hypersexualized movie, directed by Kids co-writer Harmony Korine, only cost $2 million to make.

It was also surprisingly well-reviewed by some (even Richard Roeper is a perv), with a slightly higher rating on Rotten Tomatoes than The Croods. Others called it “racist” and “thoughtless.”

Five million does however seem very low considering the amount of hype and advertising Spring Breakers received. Sort of reminds me of another flick that promised lots of sexiness and hidden statements about human behavior and culture…  Continue reading “Spring Breakers’ Box Office Bomb: Why Onscreen Butts Don’t Equal Butts in the Seats”

‘Cloud Atlas’ is a Box Office Flop In Third Place

With a budget of $100 million, Andy and Lana Wachowski better hope their film, Cloud Atlas, makes more money in “another world” or life, because it came in third in its opening weekend and grossed a disappointing $9.4 million.

The complicated sci-fi flick, which features “six narrators spanning the globe and the centuries,” was beat by fellow R-rated drama Argo (in its second week), and PG children’s movie Hotel Transylvania.

Alt Film Guide reports that Cloud Atlas is Tom Hanks’ lowest weekend grossing film since 1986’s Nothing in Common, blaming “weak word of mouth” and a “disjointed plotline.”  Continue reading “‘Cloud Atlas’ is a Box Office Flop In Third Place”

Rooney’s Lisbeth Salander Is A Girl Who Plays With Uncertainty

Fans of the American remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo directed by David Fincher and starring a wonderfully transformed Rooney Mara who are expecting a sequel may be out of luck.

On its generous budget of $100 million (the equally great Swedish version cost $13 million and brought in over $100 million), GWTDT suffered a modest loss, according to MGM.

Fincher’s comments in December of 2011 where he pretty much shot down the idea of contributing to what would be a second installment, The Girl Who Played With Fire, felt like an added setback. Continue reading “Rooney’s Lisbeth Salander Is A Girl Who Plays With Uncertainty”

‘The Avengers’ Surpasses Every Weekend Box Office Title

The Avengers brought in a record-breaking $200 million dollars over the weekend, shooting past The Hunger Games, The Dark Knight, Twilight to knock Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 (with $169 million) from the top spot.

So far it’s dominating only the biggest opening weekend movie list though at this rate it could compete with films on the domestic and worldwide gross lists that Avatar currently conquers.

I plan on seeing it on Thursday for matinée prices. Take that, crazy Twist trolls who complained about me being “an angry lesbian who doesn’t shave her arm pits and lives in a hippy tree” all because I called ScarJo a useless Black Widow.  Continue reading “‘The Avengers’ Surpasses Every Weekend Box Office Title”

Taylor Kitsch’s Career Still Rolling After ‘John Carter’

You may have thought Taylor Kitsch‘s career was over after his first big break, Disney’s sci-fi adventure John Carterwent horribly wrong and the studio lost an estimated $200 million dollars.

But, your eyes are not deceiving you, that is Kitsch of box-office bummer notoriety in not one but TWO other upcoming blockbusters, Battleship and Savages.

At first, without the shoulder-length chicken grease hair, I confused him for Paul Walker. Then I wondered why Paul Walker was in Oliver Stone’s Savages with John Travolta, Blake Lively and Salma Hayek… Continue reading “Taylor Kitsch’s Career Still Rolling After ‘John Carter’”

‘Marley’ Documentary, As Innovative As The Man Himself

The documentary Marley, focusing on the life of the most famous reggae artist of all time who we lost to cancer in 1981, made an estimated $260,000 at the box office after playing in only 42 theaters following itss release on 4/20.

Besides being available for viewings at local indie theaters nationwide, Magnolia Pictures made a smart move targeting youth –  availability on Facebook  for  $6.99 (a portion of proceeds go to Save The Children) and streaming/on demand platforms.

On iTunes it shot up to the #6 most rented film amidst Blockbuster titles like Contraband and Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. On the movie, directed by Oscar-winner Kevin Macdonald (Last King Of Scotland), Ziggy Marley says:

“I think what’s great about the film, is though there’s been a lot of things done on Bob, I think this one will give people a more emotional connection to Bob’s life as a man.”  Continue reading “‘Marley’ Documentary, As Innovative As The Man Himself”

‘The Hunger Games’ Comes In 3rd On Opening Weekend List

Jennifer Lawrence and her bow and arrow came in third on the all-time box office opening weekend records, beating out all three Twilight movies and every Harry Potter movie besides the final one, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

The Hunger Games raked in $155 million dollars and is the only non-sequel in the top ten besides Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland. I still haven’t seen the movie because I didn’t read the books yet.

Also, as a chili-loving ‘Merican I was disappointed when I found out that it wasn’t about an elaborate eating competition, or cannibalism. Is it about cannibalism? If so, I’ll go, but only if Elizabeth Banks and Woody Harrelson eat Liam Hemsworth.

‘The Devil Inside,’ $17M In One Day Despite Negative Reviews

I was going to see The Devil Inside on Saturday but then I realized that I’ve seen it before. There’s The Last Exorcism, Paranormal Activity, The Rite, Stigmata, The Exorcism of Emily Rose and their grandparent, The Exorcist, to name a few.

I’m not sure what I expect to happen in these movies, but it’s never what actually does happen. The endings are unsatisfying and make little sense, the acting is usually subpar, and someone’s legs and arms always creak in a way that makes me wanna hand them some Lubriderm in an oil can.

Continue reading “‘The Devil Inside,’ $17M In One Day Despite Negative Reviews”

No Surprise Here, Breaking Dawn Broke Box Office Records

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 propelled to the third-highest opening day of all time just behind Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 and the second installment of Twilight, New Moon.

No surprises, whatsoever. Oddly, none of the Twilight films rank very high on the list of all-time highest grossing movies of all time, not like Avatar or The Dark Knight. Guess the Twi-hard momentum isn’t as strong as Jacob’s stomach or whatever.

I still wonder what movie of 2012 will make the most moolah? The Hunger Games? The Dark Knight Rises? The Avengers? Then there’s Prometheus, Snow White And The Huntsman, Men In Black III, American Reunion and Breaking Dawn Part II. Could be close.

‘Lion King 3D’ Sings Its Way To Top Of Box Office, Tune of $30 Million

After numerous blogs and years after the rebirth of 3D, people have been saying that it is “on the decline,” though there’s one movie this week that begs to differ.

James Cameron proved with Avatar, that if done right, the technology can bring in buckets of cash and asses in their respective red seats.

Alas, that was back in 2009, and again people called 3D a thing of the past, pointing critically at the box office while quoting statistics.

The Lion King 3D is the film here to tell disbelievers (again) that only Mufasa is the only one who is dead, and not 3D. This famous 1994 Disney flick, starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas and James Earl Jones, had the second highest opening for a re-release in cinema history…

Continue reading “‘Lion King 3D’ Sings Its Way To Top Of Box Office, Tune of $30 Million”

‘Creature’ Breaks Records, Worst At Box Office

The kitschy Swamp Thing ripoff, Creature rolled into theaters last Friday in 1,507 theaters around America and earned only about $331,000 over a three-day period.

Creature nearly did the worst at the box office EVER considering how many theaters it was shown at. The average amount of screenings for a movie is around 2,500, but that hardly makes up for the lack of attendees.

Creature had the second worst-grossing opening of all time in the U.S. (The per-showing average was about six people)

The only movie to beat out Creature for worst opener per-theater was Proud American, a political drama from 2008.

Even with it’s low-budget and f-list cast, the movie will go down as a cult B-movie that is a prime example of a film that needed to go straight-to-DVD.

‘The Help,’ Still #1 In Its Third Week

The Help has quickly become the little engine that could of drama films. It is practically unheard of for this type of movie to even reach number one at the box office let alone twice in a row. (It was number two in it’s first weekend)

The Help is a racial-charged look at African-American maids in the South’s Jackson, Mississippi in the early 60’s from the point of view of a disheartened outcast of a writer, played by Emma Stone.

Originally released as a controversial book by Kathryn Stockett in 2009, it wasn’t long before it was written for the screen and turned into its own controversial movie starring Viola Davis, Jessica Chastain, Allison Janney and a treacherous Bryce Dallas Howard.

Continue reading “‘The Help,’ Still #1 In Its Third Week”

“Glee 3D” Is A Bust

 

 

 

 

 

 

Glee 3D was released on Friday, August 12, 2011 and came inbetween The Change-Up and Horrible Bosses on the Box Office charts at 11th place.  For all the promoting they’ve done I’d expect it to at least come in the low end of the top five, sheesh.

Glee 3D’s budget was a measly nine million but it only grossed $5.7 million and is expected to recuperate from at least that small amount over the next few weeks.

Continue reading ““Glee 3D” Is A Bust”