Video: Britney Spears – “Perfume”

Britney’s new single almost has better lyrics than “Phonography” from Circus (“I like my bluetooth, buttons comin’ loose”) and “Email My Heart” (self-explanatory) from …Baby One More Time.

In “Perfume” Britney is the other woman, singing “I hope she smells my perfume” and “I want it all over you, I’m gonna mark my territory.” All because of some bitch named Cindy.
Britney Spears Perfume still 1
OF COURSE Britney strips down to sexy granny panties and sprays Fantasy all over her stomach.

Video: Britney Spears – “Work B*tch”

I’m posting this and not “Pour It Up” because Rihanna is lazy in a chair in that and Britney stands for most of “Work Bitch” despite them both letting other bitches do most of the dancing.

Do the sharks remind anyone else of Britney’s past five boyfriends?  Continue reading “Video: Britney Spears – “Work B*tch””

Britney Spears is 31 Years Old Today!

Britney Spears Santa outfitHappy birthday to my all time favorite pop star – wincing X-Factor judge, and Kevin Federline survivor Britney Spears!

Original queen of the gas station turned 31 today. No exact word on how she’s celebrating or what undeserving fiancé Jason Trawick gave her as a gift.

She did tweet a photo of latest addition to the Spears family, Hannah the dog, standing on a birthday card and later thanked her fans and wrote that she was having an “absolutely wonderful birthday.”

I’m going to encourage you to check out a certain lesser-known landmark moment in her career… The Christmas song “My Only Wish (This Year).” Released in 2000, the song is predictably about how Britney wants a man under the mistletoe and in her sleigh.  Continue reading “Britney Spears is 31 Years Old Today!”

A Comprehensive Guide To Britney Spears’ X-Factor Faces

Everyone must have noticed the look of fear and distaste Britney Spears permanently has plastered on her face during her judging stint on season two of The X Factor

After five episodes of close examination, I’ve determined that the faces mean nothing, it’s just her way of coping with being on TV.

Granted, when children or teenagers announce themselves onstage, she lights up like a well-carved jack-o’-lantern.

Most of the time she just looks like she smelled some really rancid garbage. So I ask you, who the hell placed the trash can full of year-old yogurt, eggs, milk and steak next to Britney?  Continue reading “A Comprehensive Guide To Britney Spears’ X-Factor Faces”

The Ten Most Shocking Britney Spears Lyrics

Britney Spears and her team of songwriters (Max Martin and the like) are masterminds at writing extremely provocative pop songs accompanied by distractingly radio friendly music.

Ever since her cultural birth in 1998 she’s pushed the boundaries of her handcrafted virginal image with song content, live shows and videos – all injected with heavy doses of unsubtle sexuality.

Ever since “Email My Heart” I’ve been thinking about how absurd and hilarious her music really is. She didn’t begin to truly “shock” the bubblegum crowd until her third CD, Britney, where she took a noteworthy but juvenile stab at swearing. (“Hell” on “I’m a Slave For You”)

Continue reading “The Ten Most Shocking Britney Spears Lyrics”

The ‘Leave Britney Alone’ Guy Is Manly And Does Porn Now?

Everybody remembers the internet sensation Chris Crocker, no? He rocked the viral world with his weeping gay homage to Britney Spears in 2007, wearing a cropped wig and crying vigorously/hysterically screaming to “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!”

Well since you now remember him, if you did ever forget him then here I am to remind you. And how would I do that? What relevant bit of Chris Crocker news do I have?…

Continue reading “The ‘Leave Britney Alone’ Guy Is Manly And Does Porn Now?”