Two Shirtless Chili Peppers, Manning Memes and Other Super Bowl Revelations

Bruno Mars Red hot chili peppersBruno Mars’ highly energetic albeit short Super Bowl performance silenced critics on Sunday and was definitely the best, most memorable thing to come from the event.

There were bets on how many Peppers would be wearing shirts, and you’d be absolutely frankentarded to not guess two, seeing as Anthony and Flea are as likely to be shirtless as Peyton Manning is to be as stiff in the passing pocket as a corpse that overdosed on Viagra.

A map showing who was rooting for who during the big game has surfaced, showing that a staggering majority of Americans (besides in Oregon, Washington and Alaska) were crying disappointed tears into their hot wings, pizza and beer last night.  Continue reading “Two Shirtless Chili Peppers, Manning Memes and Other Super Bowl Revelations”

God Sends Tebow To The Jets, Manning To Broncos

The Denver Broncos acquired Peyton Manning from the Colts after whispers of trades from the Dolphins, Cardinals, Titans and 49ers spread like a wildfire that was extinguished faster than you can say “pigskin.”

Twenty four year-old Tim Tebow may be good for publicity – the face of buzzcut Jesus and a devotion admired by many – but his statistics beg to differ.

He even had me believing for a moment, after he brought Denver to the second round of the playoffs for the first time since 2006. Now he’ll likely be playing alongside Mark Sanchez in a wildcat formation.  Continue reading “God Sends Tebow To The Jets, Manning To Broncos”

San Diego Kicker Pees As Camera Rolls

Yes while the team was preparing for a rush in the fourth quarter with under two minutes left, the camera panned to Chargers kicker Nick Novak, which caught him at a very unfortunate moment.
Peeing, in a cup? I guess, when you gotta go you gotta go. Even when it’s in front of millions of people.

Tied against the Broncos and the only image we can conjure is some dude pissing on the sidelines when actually it was that normality of it that scared us. He couldn’t very well rush off to the nearest bathroom with the possibility of being needed on the field looming. He did what he had to.

Everyone applaud his grossness. What a trooper. Too bad his urine flow didn’t make much difference, the Chargers lost in overtime to that shifty football-playing priest Tim Tebow in overtime. 16-13.

Continue reading “San Diego Kicker Pees As Camera Rolls”