Lindsay Lohan Has Bruises All Over Her Legs

Lindsay Lohan bruisesWhile taking a dip in the waters of Brazil, Lindsay Lohan displayed some pretty large, above-the-knee bruises.

Let me explain this, in case you forgot what happens to your pain tolerance when you get sloshed on jungle juice… Drunk bitches fall hard because they don’t feel it.

Alcohol may ruin your vision, motor skills, and equilibrium, but it also turns you into Hulk, and Lindsay is no exception. Close your mouths and stop imagining that she’s being abused by Avi Snow or Max George or whoever she’s supposed to be dating now.

UNLESS one of them pushed her down the stairs without knowing that her “I’m pregnant” Tweet was a late April Fool’s joke. Here are some other photos of past and present damage: Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Has Bruises All Over Her Legs”

Damn It, I Was Hoping Michael Vick’s Hand Was Broken

During a game against the New York Giants in Philadelphia, it was reported that Michael Vick broke his hand after what he claims was a late hit by Chris Canty.

The team physician for The Eagles determined the injury on Sunday during the game, but it was later ruled to be a severely bruised bone with problematic swelling.

As much as I love the Eagles I was really rooting for his hand to be broken, since I HATE him. Besides being a sadistic dog-killer, he complains too much…

Continue reading “Damn It, I Was Hoping Michael Vick’s Hand Was Broken”