Jon Hamm Doesn’t Have a Sense of Humor About His Bulge and God Knows What Else

Jon Hamm RS Cover cropped 2013I don’t want to sound like an absolute Jon Hamm hater, because I think he’s funny on Saturday Night Live and good on Mad Men and his wife seems nice, but I can’t stand when people don’t recognize humor as a better defense mechanism than unadulterated grumpery.

Here’s Hamm, to Rolling Stone, taking first world problems to new heights:

“They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason,” he says. “I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal … But whatever. I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

This is like if Angelina Jolie came out and complained that her gold toilet’s heating mechanism malfunctioned and one of her 20 maids took maternity leave.  Continue reading “Jon Hamm Doesn’t Have a Sense of Humor About His Bulge and God Knows What Else”

‘I’ve Seen Bigger,’ Says 2008’s Nelson Evora To 2012’s Henrik Rummel

A U.S. rower named Henrik Rummel is attracting attention for more than just the bronze medal he received. During the medal ceremony for the coxless four (the jokes really do write themselves) he was photographed with what everyone thought was a boner.

Rummel went straight to the source of the rumors (the Reddit comment section) to deny them. “This is me and I swear it’s not erect! I don’t know why it ended up in that position but there you go,” he wrote under the username “Rummelator.”

Well, American rower with possible wood, I see your coxless whatever and raise you a Portuguese track and field star with bigger, potentially paralyzing wood.  Continue reading “‘I’ve Seen Bigger,’ Says 2008’s Nelson Evora To 2012’s Henrik Rummel”