I do take enjoyment out of stories about animal rescue and people doing good neighborly deeds lending each other sugar or eggs or whatever (lay off the cake, fatty), but they’re just not the type of stories I love the most. My favorite thing of the week was a video of a really ridiculous looking woman singing rap into her curling iron and then burning herself until I found out that it wasn’t real.
I mean, she’s not stupid and she didn’t burn herself and she’s probably not even a Kreayshawn fan! Her name is Brittany Furlan, a comedian who says she’s “addicted to making characters.”
BETRAYAL. I wouldn’t have told you so you could watch it in your little fantasy world like I did believing it was the most hilarious thing I’d see that day BUT NO, the world is cruel. Vine just ruined stupidity for me the same way Facebook is using Candy Crush to ruin online gaming.
Before the release of her new video for “Burn,” Goulding, currently touring in North America with Bruno Mars, invited fans to send in Vine clips of them showing love for close friends with the hashtag #ellieburnvine, many of which made it into a separate video made to get them ready for the official one.
No word on whether or not “Burn” or her previously unreleased Halcyon track “You, My Everything” (from Skins Fire) will make it onto her Moonshine Jungle Tour setlist.
The classiest people are always from Nutley, New Jersey. Case in point, a mother from there was charged for endangerment after putting her gingery daughter into a tanning booth, which resulted in a mild burn.
The accused is Patricia Krentcil, a 44 year-old raisin that was dropped in an exceptionally dirty all-night bonfire. She says she’s been visiting cancer-coal salons her life and that while she loves tanning, she never put her 6 year-old child in the booth.
Krentcil says the burn is from playing in the yard. Mhmmmm. Listen, I’m going to tell a short story… At my old apartment building there was this woman who visited the pool everyday. We called her “tan lady.” Continue reading “NJ Woman Tries To Give Her Offspring A Tan”