Be Prepared To Shamefully Show Your ID When Buying Kombucha

Kombucha alcohol labelKombucha manufacturers were forced to pull their products from store shelves in 2010 after the government began investigating the alcohol content to see if it contained more than 0.5% and needed to be sold to over 21s.

Many speculated that Lindsay Lohan was to blame (isn’t she always) because she complained that the drink had set off her ankle monitor.

It’s all very sad and humorous because Kombucha is basically just liquified, non-hallucinogenic mushrooms. Most of the people who drink it (besides Lindsay and I) are certifiable hippies who collect feathers and skulls and won’t leave the house without a basket full of yarn and Tom’s of Maine products.  Continue reading “Be Prepared To Shamefully Show Your ID When Buying Kombucha”

Bulletproof Polo, For The Paranoid Gentleman

If I was a little bit more, afraid, and a little bit more mobster-y I’d order a bulletproof polo. And such a thing does exist at FreshPolos.com. For $3,475 you can purchase a shirt that will save your life if you happen to be stabbed and/or shot with handguns and uzis.

You no longer have to worry about outwardly looking like you are wearing bulletproof anything or being sprayed with gunfire on the way to the grocery store! Woohoo.

The polos, which are endorsed by everyone from Steven Seagal to King Abdullah of Jordan, come in four basic colors and three protection levels.

This article of “high-security fashion” and its removable anti-ballistic panels are designed by Columbian mogul Miguel Caballero, whose website also offers an “extreme jacket,” raincoats, and women’s clothing. Continue reading “Bulletproof Polo, For The Paranoid Gentleman”