POLL: Canada’s Weed Vending Machine Vs. America’s

Weed vending machines

With North America’s governments finally beginning to capitalize on the millions and millions of dollars generated by the distribution of marijuana, we’re hearing about the very first vending machines designed to dispense sweet sticky herbs.

While there are reportedly others in Arizona and California, the most publicized machines reside in Avon, Colorado and Vancouver, B.C.

So who has the better machine? ‘Merica, or those maple-syrup guzzling ladies and gents to the North? It’s a matter of taste (literally).

Colorado’s machine specializes in pot-infused baked goods, and doesn’t require identification until approached, whereas the one in Canada is in a “fenced-off zone” that requires customers to “flash a card confirming that they have received a doctor’s prescription for the drug.”  Continue reading “POLL: Canada’s Weed Vending Machine Vs. America’s”

Canadian Mayor Says He Has ‘More Than Enough’ P*ssy to Eat at Home

Rob Ford mayor wifeMarried trainwreck mayor of Toronto Rob Ford stood in front of a room full of press yesterday to deny a whole mess of things, including telling one of his staff members that he wanted to eat her out.

Ford, a notorious partier and admitted crack user said, “I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

This kind of thing would never fly in America, but if I had to compare his attitude to two people I’d go with Rex Ryan and Vladimir Putin. Amount of f*cks given: 0.0.

Justin Bieber Faces Potential Deportation After Hamptons Brawl

Justin bieber flagI think at this point it’s pretty safe to say that we all just want Justin Bieber to disappear. And while vanishing into thin air is probably a longshot, we might be able to land the next best thing: deportation.

You don’t usually think Justin Bieber when you think deportation because, you know, he’s an enormously rich, white celebrity who is legally residing in the US. But technically speaking, he’s not a citizen and his recent scuffle in the Hamptons could theoretically get his ass kicked out of the US and sent back to Canada. I know, it’s like that movie The Proposal. Except when I watch The Proposal I don’t have a deep urge to punch Sandra Bullock in the face.

All that would need to happen are these two easy steps:

1. Biebs is accused of assault or battery in regards to the Hamptons case (defined as “threat of bodily harm coupled with an apparent, present ability to cause the harm.”)

2. The assault is deemed an “aggregated felony,” which could lead to deportation for any non-citizen.

Which means a one-way ticket back to Canada. Pretty swell, eh?  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Faces Potential Deportation After Hamptons Brawl”

Cory Monteith Died of a Heroin and Alcohol-Related Drug Overdose

Cory Monteith drumsA coroner in British Columbia confirmed earlier this week that 31-year-old Glee star Cory Monteith’s death was caused by a lethal dose of heroin mixed with alcohol on Saturday.

“It should be noted that at this point there is no evidence to suggest Mr. Monteith’s death was anything other than a most-tragic accident,” Canadian authorities said in a press conference.

The police explained that “there were indications in the room that this was a drug overdose,” and while they didn’t specify what those indications were, it’s probably safe to assume that, since it was heroin, there were either needles or some kind of foil and/or pipe discovered in his hotel room.

His co-star Jane Lynch said the following kind words about Monteith while visiting The Tonight Show:

“Cory’s one of the biggest hearts, was a real bright light. He was one of those guys that … he knew he was breathing rarified air. The gifts that this wonderful show gave us … He was always aware that it was a gift and he was quite generous. He was one of those adventurous types of people.”  Continue reading “Cory Monteith Died of a Heroin and Alcohol-Related Drug Overdose”

Justin Bieber Puts on His Best Overalls For the Canadian Prime Minister

On Friday Justin Bieber accepted a Diamond Jubilee Medal from Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, given to citizens who have significantly contributed to society, wearing half-buttoned overalls.

The award was handed out to 60,000 people this year, mostly to non-famous community leaders, though it can be bestowed up those who bring “credit to Canada” due to their achievements abroad.

I’m sure he’s involved in some kind of charity, and he is the most recognizable Canadian, though not the sexiest (Gosling, Reynolds, Cuthbert, Kirshner), in existence, so I guess he deserves it?

Continue reading “Justin Bieber Puts on His Best Overalls For the Canadian Prime Minister”

Massive 1,000 Pound Sturgeon Caught In Canada

A very large and very old Sturgeon was caught and released in the Fraser River in British Columbia last week. It took an English angler who was visiting with his wife more than 90 minutes to reel the 1,1000 pound 12-foot 4-inch fish.

Dean Werk, a guide for Great River Fishing Adventures, said that over a span of 25 years he’d never seen a sturgeon that ancient or big (it is likely the largest fish ever caught with a fishing pole).

Continue reading “Massive 1,000 Pound Sturgeon Caught In Canada”

Justin Bieber Is ‘Enough Percent’ Indian To Get Free Gas In Canada

I’m not aware of any law stating that Natives in Canada get gas free-of-charge, but apparently Justin Bieber is. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone he said,

“I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I’m enough percent that in Canada I can get free gas.”

First of all, I would ask Rolling Stone to stop indulging him and putting him on the cover in white wifebeaters, but as a long time subscriber I cannot be surprised.

Over the years, they’ve put people like The Backstreet Boys, Snooki, and the cast of Glee + The Hills on their covers.

And Bieber must deserve the limelight, since he’s such a manly man.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Is ‘Enough Percent’ Indian To Get Free Gas In Canada”

Transgendered Woman Allowed In Miss Universe Pageant

A promising day in LBGT history was made when Miss Universe president Paula Shugart and contest co-owner Donald Trump allowed Jenna Talackova, a post-op transgendered Canadian woman, to enter the pageant.

GLAAD petitioned hard for the woman to be allowed to compete and for her case to be reviewed, after she was disqualified last month due to a rule that entrees must be born women. Shugart says:

“We want to give credit where credit is due, and the decision to include transgender women in our beauty competitions is a result of our ongoing discussions with GLAAD. We have a long history of supporting equality for all women, and this was something we took very seriously.”   Continue reading “Transgendered Woman Allowed In Miss Universe Pageant”

Get Ready Canada, Real Housewives Are Invading

“Vancouver is a goldmine, and I love to go digging” says real housewife and self-proclaimed “mumpreneur” Jody Claman in a sneak peak for a new branch of the reality series.

The Real Housewives of Vancouver is in fact the third installment to not be set in America (Athens and Israel preceded) and it is unknown at this time if the show will eventually air on Bravo. For now only the Canadian cable channel Slice will have the honor of its debut on April 4.

Previous incarnations have included the popular Real Housewives of Orange County, New York City, Atlanta, New Jersey, D.C., Beverly Hills and Miami. Australian and British versions are on the rumored horizon.  Continue reading “Get Ready Canada, Real Housewives Are Invading”

Funny Video: “Batman’s Night Out”

Watch what happens when “Batman” uses his scary Christian Bale voice to frighten urban Canadians in various locations. Rebecca Black’s “Friday” has never been put to better use, well, except in Death Metal Friday.

It was brilliantly pointed out on Attack Of The Show that this Batman’s parents would never have died because of the grade A health care up there.  Continue reading “Funny Video: “Batman’s Night Out””

More Previously Unreleased Marilyn Monroe Photos Surface

1953 "River of No Return" Marilyn Monroe unreleased 13Dang, that Michelle Williams movie (My Week With Marilyn) isn’t the only thing helping out the Monroe-o-philes these days.

After a few previously unseen 1940s photos were auctioned off in Beverly Hills we are now able to view MORE rare Marilyn Monroe images.

This time they come in the form of River Of No Return set photos taken in 1953 by by John Vachon. They appear in the book Marilyn, August 1953, The Lost Look Photos by Vachon and Brian Wallis…

The shots were taken in the Canadian Rockies in beautiful Alberta’s Banff National Park, making them extra magical.  Continue reading “More Previously Unreleased Marilyn Monroe Photos Surface”

Russell Brand Rejected By Canada, Postpones Show

Comedian/actor Russell Brand was denied entry to Canada by customs officials in Orillia, Ontario where he was trying to perform his stand-up routine at Casino Rama.

Mr. Katy Perry/blackbeard firework relayed via Twitter on Saturday night that he was unable to enter the country and that the show had been cancelled.

Brand was also rejected by customs in Japan in May of this year, and to the U.S. back in 2008 – due to his prior criminal record.

On being being denied access to America several years ago he told David Letterman, “I was turned out of this country, like a common criminal…” 

Continue reading “Russell Brand Rejected By Canada, Postpones Show”

Banana Thrown At NHL Player During Flyers-Red Wings Game

In an exhibition game on Thursday, September 22nd at Labatt Centre in London, Ontario, Wayne Simmonds experienced a starting jolt of racism in the form of a banana tossed his way by a member of the audience. Presumably a racist gesture.

He was in the process of preparing for a shootout, so the incident was particularly noticeable. The Philadelphia Right Wing stated to the Associated Press afterwards:

“I caught it from the side of my eye. It was a banana. Hopefully, that wasn’t directed towards me being black, because if it was, that’s just somebody being ignorant…You learn to deal with it.”

Continue reading “Banana Thrown At NHL Player During Flyers-Red Wings Game”

Daryl Hannah Handcuffed

Daryl Hannah, star of Splash and Steel Magnolias was arrested today for protesting the Keystone oil pipeline that could possibly run through Canada.

The police asked her to leave at least an area outside The White House twice but she refused, later stating,

“Sometimes it’s necessary to sacrifice your freedom for a greater freedom.”

It’s true too. When are government officials going to realize that we are going to run out of oil?

Putting a pipeline through Canada is one of the worst ideas ever. Pointless and rooted in the past not to mention dangerous to the environment. Fossil fuels are not a viable long-term source of energy anymore.

Canadian Britney Spears Concert DVD, Coming Your Way

The resurged princess of pop, flip flops, jean shorts and sausages has a Femme Fatale concert DVD coming out!

The weird thing is, it’s being filmed in Canada in Toronto, Ontario and released through EpixHD, a relatively unheard of company.

Epix is, from what I can tell, a copycat Netflix company who partner with Lionsgate, MGM and Paramount to stream instant movies from their website or on your TV with certain devices and a membership.

Britney tweeted on August 12th:

Continue reading “Canadian Britney Spears Concert DVD, Coming Your Way”