Paris Hilton’s Tear Ducts Exploded at Cannes

Paris Hilton crying cannesParis Hilton cried a waterfall of Valtrex and cranberry pills at Cannes Film Festival last week when she attended a screening of The Bling Ring. If you’ve seen the trailer or read about the movie, you know there’s a scene where Nikki (Emma Watson’s character) and her merry group of thieves burst into Hilton’s mansion and violate her shoe closet and stripper pole exactly like the Burglar Bunch of Hollywood Hills did in 2009.

I was really emotional watching it,” Hilton told Vulture’s Kyle Buchanan. “I literally had tears in my eyes and I wanted to cry. I knew what happened with the burglaries, but I had never actually seen it – so watching it happen, I was like, ‘Oh my God, this really happened to me. These kids were really in my house and did this to me.'”  Continue reading “Paris Hilton’s Tear Ducts Exploded at Cannes”

Shia LaBeouf’s Hair Wants To Be Taken Seriously

Shia LaBeouf or at least, someone who has been identified as Shia LaBeouf, has been spotted at Cannes Film Festival. He is promoting the Depression-era Appalachian crime drama Lawless.

The movie, in theaters August 31, co-stars Tom Hardy, Jessica Chastain, Guy Pearce, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, and Mia Wasikowska.

Pop Sugar went as far as to call the duo of LeBeouf and Hardy a “double dose of hotness,” but I have to object…

Shia may be more proud (he said in an interview that he was returning with a “smaller hotel room” and “a lot more pride”) but he looks like a skinny Creed singer in an Easter Sunday suit.

At least he shaved, a few weeks prior. Jesus Chris, just move to Boulder Colorado already.