I Refuse to Believe (or Care) that Mariah Carey Can’t Sing Anymore

The internet is abuzz with news that Mariah Carey has absolutely no ability to sing live after a disastrous televised performance at Rockefeller Center.

I’ll admit that the “true-ue-ue-ue” part of “All I Want For Christmas” sans music sounds like a downed bird being repeatedly stepped and unstepped on, but talent is not something you simply lose one day like a coin in a couch cushion.

I am of the slightly unpopular opinion that Mariah is the best female singer of my generation (suck it, Beyoncé) and would like to defend her honor by saying that she’s no dummy. She made it through the rain with multiple personalities, Glitter and a mustache in Precious. I say she’s pretending to suck so she can make another comeback.  It’s a brilliant business plan that you wish you’d thought of. Continue reading “I Refuse to Believe (or Care) that Mariah Carey Can’t Sing Anymore”

Vin Diesel Should Stick to Driving and Being Buff

Vin Diesel singingWhen I was at Universal Studios last year I saw this whole Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift thing with pyrotechnics and cars flying out of the ground, I was like, “Where the hell is Vin Diesel?”

I’m aware he wasn’t even in Tokyo Drift, but whatever. I actually like him, and the whole studio tour would have been even cooler if he had popped out of a house on Wisteria Lane waving in his Riddick glasses.

He seems fun like Bruce Willis, if Bruce was bigger and not as good at acting. He also seems fun because he unabashedly sings questionable karaokeContinue reading “Vin Diesel Should Stick to Driving and Being Buff”

Question: Who Has More Talent Than ‘The X-Factor’ Group Emblem3? (Answer: Everyone)

drew-chadwick-and-Wesley StrombergAs a viewer of both The Voice and X FactorI can effectively say that it’s easy to find flaws in the format, especially when the contestants can’t sing.

This applies to one of mentor Simon Cowell’s two remaining X Factor groups, hideous vocal trio Emblem3.

The judges on The Voice would NEVER turn their chairs for these no-talent, Good Charlotte-sounding douche factories.

I would say that “America” is voting based on looks alone if all four judges didn’t shower them with praise every week after each grade school talent show-worthy cover from brothers Wesley Stromberg, Keaton Stromberg and Drew Chadwick. Apparently I’m just clueless.  Continue reading “Question: Who Has More Talent Than ‘The X-Factor’ Group Emblem3? (Answer: Everyone)”