Video: Ella Eyre – “Comeback”

It might seem unusual for a debut album to have a song called “Comeback” on it, but at only 20 years old, obvious Best Hair in Music-haver Ella Eyre makes it work.

It’s about a scoundrel who “comes back” after cheating, but instead of being a weak ass weak sauce bad-guy-taker-backer, she breaks his dishes, dissects his flatscreen with a guitar and lights his ride on fire. With a little help from her friends, of course.  Continue reading “Video: Ella Eyre – “Comeback””

Paul Walker Dead in Valencia Car Crash

car crash photo Paul WalkerPaul Walker, real-life motor sport enthusiast and star of The Fast and the Furious and Joy Ride, passed away Saturday after on his way home from a charity event in Valencia, California.

Friend Roger Rodas, 38, was driving while Walker, 40, sat passenger in the Porsche that lost control, slammed into a tree and ignited. No other cars were involved in the accident, but police have said that while they do not yet know how fast Rodas was driving, speed “was a factor.”

Walker (September 12, 1973 – November 30, 2013) is survived by his 15-year-old daughter Meadow and her mother, Rebecca McBrain.

Continue reading “Paul Walker Dead in Valencia Car Crash”

Bobbi Kristina Got Into A[nother] Car Crash And Her Brother Broke Her Heart

In order to write a redneck hit, you need to include alcohol, car crashes and an inappropriate relationship with a family member.

That’s why I’m going to write a country song about Bobbi Kristina.

On Wednesday she got into a car accident where her Chevy Camaro (perfect for my song) was totaled (she was fine) AND revealed, through a bizarre string of tweets, that she and her brother-fiancé had called it quits.

Everybody relax. Bobbi wrote that she is “incredibly fine” (not in reference to her second wreck of the year), followed by a million hashtags that prove it.  #REALperson Xxo #armyofme #onmywon #goingtomakeit#determined, #notastalentedasmymother #whyamifamous  Continue reading “Bobbi Kristina Got Into A[nother] Car Crash And Her Brother Broke Her Heart”

WNBA Assault! Chamique Holdsclaw Smashes Girlfriend’s Car, Opens Fire

As a college basketball star in the 90’s, Chamique Holdsclaw was referred to as the “female Michael Jordan.” She’s also a former WNBA star and an Olympic gold medalist.

Holdsclaw, 35, is sadly now one of many athletes whose fall from grace stems from criminal activity.

WSBTV reports that she turned herself in on Thursday after she smashed the windows of her ex-girlfriend and teammate Jennifer Lacy’s car.

Chamique also pulled a handgun out after following behind Lacy’s Land Rover from a parking lot and shot at her vehicle in an attempt to ignite gasoline that she may have previously poured into the car.  Continue reading “WNBA Assault! Chamique Holdsclaw Smashes Girlfriend’s Car, Opens Fire”

Robert Pattinson For Italian Vogue, 2012

Robert Pattinson plays peek-a-boo with the camera in a slightly misguided shoot for L’Uome Vogue. Somebody on ONTD! wrote that he looks like “the lovechild of Zorro and Nosferatu.”

Though I really can’t disagree, I’d add that it appears that one of the less mutated Hills Have Eyes lurkers stole from the a drama room costume chest and let his cousin-wife take pictures of him inside the old airplanes and cars that belonged to their victims.

Since text for this one doesn’t exist yet, we’ll go over some random election and Breaking Dawn kissing quotes from Pattinson on Jimmy Kimmel.  Continue reading “Robert Pattinson For Italian Vogue, 2012”

The Time Ben Affleck Knocked A Mirror Off Someone’s Car And Left A Note

Remember the short-lived VH1 show Celebrity Eye CandyIt was mainly just a funny guy singing songs and explaining photos of celebrities doing everyday things like going to the grocery store or falling onto the sidewalk in a puddle of vodka-scented vomit.

This photo of Ben Affleck leaving a note on a car he knocked the mirror off of during a Saturday drive around Santa Monica, reminds me of the show.

If only I had a clever song to sing about the woman or man who now has Ben’s phone number, which he left on the note along with his name. Scratch that, change to: if only TMZ hadn’t blacked out his contact information.  Continue reading “The Time Ben Affleck Knocked A Mirror Off Someone’s Car And Left A Note”

Kristen Stewart’s Topless Scene From ‘On The Road’ (NSFW)

Nudity in movies can either be seen as desperate or artsy, sometimes both.

Many might call Kristen Stewart‘s topless handjob scene in Walter Salles’ adaptation of Kerouac’s On The Road desperate because it arrives after her cheating scandal, which was really just another excuse for people who already hated Kristen Stewart to hate her more.  Continue reading “Kristen Stewart’s Topless Scene From ‘On The Road’ (NSFW)”

Someone Finally Took Away Amanda Bynes’ Car, Lindsay Wants Her In Jail

When you hear “Lindsay Lohan” and “Amanda Bynes” mentioned in the same sentence, you would likely assume that one came to the other’s aid, since they’re both terrible drivers who love getting stoned and feel “misunderstood” by the public and media.

Surprisingly, Lindsay is NOT defending Amanda, quite the opposite – she thinks Amanda should be in jail.

It’s only fair since she went for violating her probation in 2010 (but only went for 14 of the 90 days due to overcrowding), right?

“Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far?” Lohan wrote on Twitter Sunday.  Continue reading “Someone Finally Took Away Amanda Bynes’ Car, Lindsay Wants Her In Jail”

Woman Causes Media Frenzy After Sitting In Ryan Lochte’s Lap, Turns Out To Be His Sister

You know when you’re at a basketball game with you brother and they start showing that kiss cam, and you’re both silently praying that it doesn’t zoom in on you and create an awkward moment of nothingness that ultimately ends with everyone laughing at you?

Well, that happened to Olympic U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte after the paparazzi snapped pictures of him and two mysterious women in the back of a car in London… Continue reading “Woman Causes Media Frenzy After Sitting In Ryan Lochte’s Lap, Turns Out To Be His Sister”

Katy Perry And John Mayer, The Latest ‘Couple’ Revealed To The Public In A Car

Has anyone seen Death Note? It’s this anime show about a kid who gets a magic notebook. When he writes a name in the book, that person dies, but he has to have seen the person’s face in order for it to work.

John Mayer must have a similar book for women he wants to date. Jots down Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston, Katy Perry, and poof – they fall out of the sky into the sunroof of his car and are instantly in love with him.

The paparazzi have a longstanding relationship with celebrities in cars.

Continue reading “Katy Perry And John Mayer, The Latest ‘Couple’ Revealed To The Public In A Car”

Video: Justin Bieber – As Long As You Love Me Feat. Big Sean

There aren’t a lot of ways to argue that Justin Bieber isn’t a boy bander gone solo who just happened to never be in a boy band. He’s everything I remember from the Lou Pearlman days of my youth.

But, he was “created” strictly by his 18-year-old mother instead of a fat man with a Lance bAss fetish. Now he’s so “Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman…” Eighteen, and not caring that “As Long As You Love Me” is already the name of a Backstreet Boys song released three years after he was born.  Continue reading “Video: Justin Bieber – As Long As You Love Me Feat. Big Sean”

Lindsay’s People Point Fingers, Act Like The Mob

As you may know, Lindsay Lohan got into a serious but relatively painless car accident on Friday. Her black rental Porsche was totaled after she rammed into an 18-wheeler on the Pacific Coast Highway.

The truck driver, who was not intoxicated, said that Lohan’s people tried to bribe him and were hiding something in the Escalade that was trailing her Porsche (they were on the way to the set of Liz & Dick).

Continue reading “Lindsay’s People Point Fingers, Act Like The Mob”

Amanda Bynes Can’t Stop Sideswiping

Amanda Bynes got into her third minor car accident on Friday.

The first in 2008 when she “made an unsafe turn” and was hit by another car.

The second you’ll remember from April 6 when she clipped a cop car. The pink-haired mugshot is hard to erase from memory.

I’m not even counting the time she was drunk texting and drove over a curb at a club in Hollywood on April 13.

On Friday night she sideswiped another car with her Range Rover at an intersection while trying to go around the vehicle. The man whose car was hit began following her on top of calling the police.

Bynes played dumb after the law finally caught up with her (a helicopter was even dispatched) and was not arrested or given a citation.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Can’t Stop Sideswiping”

Bobby Brown’s Inevitable Post-Whitney DUI

People associated with Whitney Houston have been in the ultraviolet solar flare-sized spotlight lately. Bobbi Kristina, who is dating her adopted brother while she contemplates changing her last name.

Chaka Khan and Kelly Price tiptoeing around questions about seeing Whitney intoxicated right before her tragic death at the Beverly Hilton Hotel where she died of drowning with cocaine, marijuana, Xanax and muscle relaxants in her system.

And the men in Whitney’s life, well, they’re no better. Ray J trying to deflect ridiculous claims that he had something to do with his girlfriend’s death.  Continue reading “Bobby Brown’s Inevitable Post-Whitney DUI”

Video: Ok Go – “Needing/Getting”

Ok Go’s video creativity has always saved them from the sometimes mediocre rock/pop nature of their music, we saw that with the Grammy-winning “Here It Goes Again.”

Who says advertising and art can’t hold hands. This is, officially a music video, one with a prominent Chevy Sonic which lead singer Damian Kulash took special stunt driving lessons for. Continue reading “Video: Ok Go – “Needing/Getting””

The DeLorean Will Make A Comeback In 2013!

DMC (DeLorean Motor Company) is officially back! On Friday they debuted a model of the cult classic 80’s automobile to spectators at DMC’s Open House Event in Humble, Texas.

The best thing about the new Delorean – which will be available for the steep price of $100,00 – is that it will not be reliant on fossil fuel. DMC worked on the truly futuristic car for four years. It is 100% electric and boasts top speeds of 125 miles per hour…

Continue reading “The DeLorean Will Make A Comeback In 2013!”

Cop Caught In Sex Act

A cop in Santa Fe, New Mexico was caught on a Canyon Ranch security camera having sex on top of a car. It wasn’t a cop car, but he was in full uniform, so it’s causing quite a ruckus with the press.

The officer, Bert Lopez, is not being charged with a crime but is on administrative leave until the media frenzy dies down a little.

NM state police spokesman, Sgt. Tim Johnson told the press,

“At this point we do not believe any criminal activity occurred.”

Continue reading “Cop Caught In Sex Act”