Female ‘Friends’ Reunited!

 A few things are happening with every 90s kid’s favorite comedy…

Not only is a Central Perk opening in SoHo and serving free coffee in giant cups to customers on the iconic orange couch from Friends, but Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox AND Lisa Kudrow stopped by Jimmy Kimmel for a mini reunion in a replica of Monica’s apartment.

In honor of the 20th anniversary of the NBC hit show, Kimmel, as Ross, wrote a scenario where Rachel and the girls praise him for being amazing at making love. …Even Monica… Continue reading “Female ‘Friends’ Reunited!”

Underwear Model Jamie ‘Golden Torso’ Dornan Cast as Christian Grey

Jamie Dornan steamy photo gallery Hey depraved ladies and spicy gay gents, we have a new Christian Grey and he’s handsome and fit and has better hair than Charlie Hunnam!

If you haven’t seen Jamie Dornan‘s work as a steamy Calvin Klein Adonis as the Huntsman on Once Upon a Time or a pervy serial murderer in The Fall co-starring Gillian Anderson, take a deep breath and gaze into the physical prowess that may or may not make you say “Matt Bomer who?”

In 2006, Dornan was nicknamed “The Golden Torso” by the New York Times after he landed a small part in Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette.

Like Henry Cavill and so many sexy time sex bomb dudes, Dornan thrusts his crotch in our direction mumbling the words “I don’t see myself as particularly good-looking” with a completely straight face.

Continue reading “Underwear Model Jamie ‘Golden Torso’ Dornan Cast as Christian Grey”

Snooki and Elizabeth Berkeley Are Taking ‘Dancing With The Stars’ By Storm

Snooki showgirls Elzabeth BerkeleyThe cast of season 17 of Dancing With The Stars was announced today, and while it included semi-knowns like Billy Nye, Leah Remini, Jack Osbourne and Amber Riley, I only care about two names…

Snooki and freaking Elizabeth Berkeley! Yes. This means that my dream of the Notorious Tan Midget hanging out with a real giant (sorry JWoww) is about to come true.

At 5’10”, Elizabeth Berkeley (of Saved by the Bell fame), stands a foot and two inches above Snooki, who is 4’8″.

They will become lifelong friends, starting with getting drunk on the Jersey pier and yelling lines from the Showgirls script at each other. I never watch this shitty show and I don’t plan on it now, but I will keep my eyes on Ms. Polizzi’s Twitter and Instagram for photos of them tearing it up.

On Behalf of All of Portland, Let Me Apologize in Advance For ‘The Real World’

Marlon Williams The Real WorldI’m sorry that the male cast of The Real World: Portland are misogynist boars who spend their time flashing women and deciding who has the hottest ass in their concrete mess of a house. And I’m sorry that the nicest female cast member is a Hooters waitress…

It may be an accurate representation of the human race, but it’s a terrible representation of Portland, Oregon. In the first episode “Bondage, Butts and Burlesque,” the cast goes to – you guessed it – a burlesque show, where they run into swingers (okay, sort of accurate) and sweaty Jersey Shore types.

Yes we have clubs. Every town does. We have a nightlife that consists of microbrews, $2 Pabst, karaoke, concerts, strip joints and 24/7 Voodoo Donuts. The typical Portlander does not “go clubbing,” but typical people do, and I suppose that is the “reality” portion.  Continue reading “On Behalf of All of Portland, Let Me Apologize in Advance For ‘The Real World’”

Can We Talk About ABC’s New Diving Show?

Celebrity diving showBecause of the success of Dancing With The Stars, ABC has disregarded the non-success of Fox’s 2012 celebrity diving show Stars in Danger (featuring JWoww, Antonio Sabato Jr. and Terrell Owens) with their own rendition, called Splash.

Based on a show of the same name in the UK on ITV starring olympian Tom Daley, America’s Splash has enlisted true talents like 40-year-old Baywatch boob juggler Nicole Eggert and professional corpse girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson.

Can you think of anything more boring than watching celebrities jump off a high dive? As children, this is something we fear more than losing teeth or going through puberty, but is that phobia enough to captivate a grown-up audience?

Continue reading “Can We Talk About ABC’s New Diving Show?”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-4-13]

Demi Lovato castDemi Lovato slipped and broke her leg on shiny Pledge-cleaned floor, blames roommate. (Evil Beet)

They made another Fast and the Furious and Michelle Rodriguez isn’t dead. (Yahoo!)

Bobbi Kristina not interested in reading or supporting grandma Cissy’s book. (Extra)

Cast of Cool Runnings reunite in Calgary for 20th anniversary screening. (Huffington Post)

Tim McGraw is oddly sexual in red shorts and Hulk Hogan head wrap. (ohmyGAHH!)

A bad explanation for the blackout, from New Orleans’ power supplier. (Sports Illustrated)

First Khloe now Kendall: report suggests second youngest daughter is not Bruce Jenner’s. (Celebuzz)

No, Seriously, MTV’s ‘BuckWild’ is the Decay of Western Civilization

Buckwild cast  2012Adam Levine recently called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo the “worst thing that’s ever happened” and the “DECAY of Western Civilization,” which I guess means he’s never seen previews for MTV’s new show.

BuckWild feels like both a replacement for Jersey Shore and a slightly more adult answer to TLC and Honey Boo Boo Child’s brand of redneckognition (I use the term “adult” loosely, and only because the nine cast members are older than Alana).

Sadly, Flavor of Love star Becky “Buckwild” Johnston has nothing to do with this show about West Virginians engaging in acceptable hick activities like squirrel huntin,’ and rope swingin.’  Continue reading “No, Seriously, MTV’s ‘BuckWild’ is the Decay of Western Civilization”

‘Freaks and Geeks’ Cast Reunited For Vanity Fair Comedy Issue [PHOTOS]

Freaks and Geeks reunion cast 2Judd Apatow’s guest-edited Vanity Fair Comedy Issue has something to do with Leslie Mann in a bikini and Megan Fox dressed as a Shriner, but it’s also a Freaks and Geeks reunion!

Inside (and online) you’ll find exclusive set photos, interviews with cast and crew and the entire reunited cast (including the Weir parents, Samaire Armstrong, Lizzy Caplan, Millie and Cindy Sanders).

There are also detailed descriptions of what would have happened to every character if the show hadn’t been cancelled after the first season in 2000.

Lindsay Weir (Linda Cardellini) becomes a performance artist in New York while brother Sam Weir (John Francis Daley) explores a strange relationship with his alcoholic drama teacher.  Continue reading “‘Freaks and Geeks’ Cast Reunited For Vanity Fair Comedy Issue [PHOTOS]”

All-Female ‘The Expendables’ In Development, Who Would You Cast?

Adi Shankar (producer of The Grey and The Bitter Bill starring Rooney Mara and Channing Tatum) is working on a version of The Expendables with female action stars instead of dudes who secrete 80’s-scented testosterone.

First Showing took the names out of my head when they mentioned Linda Hamilton, Sigourney Weaver, Milla Jovovich, and Kate Beckinsale as ideal casting choices. I’ve also seen whispers of Haywire‘s Gina Carano, Michelle Yeoh, Ali Larter, Michelle Rodriguez, Lucy Lawless, and Angelina Jolie.

My choice is Swedish GWTDT/Prometheus star Noomi Rapace (in a perfect world, Rooney Mara AND Noomi Rapace). Who’s on your ideal list of all-star lady action stars?  Continue reading “All-Female ‘The Expendables’ In Development, Who Would You Cast?”

‘The Real World’ Season 28 Is Currently Filming In Portland, Oregon

It may be the popularity of Portlandia that finally convinced the Real World producers to stop revisiting states (California x5, New York x3) and take their camera crews to our wonderfully weird Pacific Northwestern city.

Season 28 of MTV’s once-phenomenal, now-tedious show is filming as we speak. For anyone who lives in the area, their living quarters are located on the corner of NW 9th and Flanders above an antique shop in the Pearl District.  Continue reading “‘The Real World’ Season 28 Is Currently Filming In Portland, Oregon”

Jena Malone To Fill Johanna Mason’s Shoes In ‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’

Jena Malone, one of my favorite indie actresses, has a confirmed place in the sequel to Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson’s The Hunger Games, which made over $152 million dollars in its opening weekend.

She is set to play the complicated former victor Johanna Mason who, with Katniss, Peeta and the still not-cast Finnick Odair, is thrust into the 75th Hunger Games where former winners are chosen to fight for their lives again.

Many websites would have you believe that Malone is best known for her “work” in Zack Snyder’s disastrous Sucker Punch…  Continue reading “Jena Malone To Fill Johanna Mason’s Shoes In ‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’”

Who Could Possibly Play Pennywise In Stephen King’s ‘It’ Besides Tim Curry?

Hollywood is running out of movies to remake, especially in the horror department. We’ve revisited the obvious – Texas Chainsaw MassacreFriday The 13th, Halloween and Psycho. To the slightly less obvious choices of The Wicker Man, Sorority Row, The Thing (a remake of a remake) and My Bloody Valentine.

One movie destined for the revamp treatment was Stephen King’s It, which originally aired as a TV movie on ABC. It was low-budget and half-assed, despite Tim Curry’s memorable performance as the ancient manifestation of fear in Derry, Maine.

Continue reading “Who Could Possibly Play Pennywise In Stephen King’s ‘It’ Besides Tim Curry?”

SNL’s New Female Cast Member Is A First

According to various sites, Lorne Michaels has chosen a new lady to join the SNL ranks of Kristen Wiig, Vanessa Bayer, Abby Elliott and Nasim Pedrad.

Her name is Kate McKinnon and she has performed regularly with the improv goldmine, Upright Citizens Brigade and starred in The Big Gay Sketch Show and a webseries called Vag Magazine.

Michaels had been auditioning several women for the show but his favorite, McKinnon, will appear on the April 7th episode with Sofia Vergara and One Direction. (Josh Brolin and Gotye are coming up on April 14th)

Kate Mckinnon will be the first openly gay woman in its 37-year history and second openly gay person since Terry Sweeney, in season 10.

Continue reading “SNL’s New Female Cast Member Is A First”

Original Cast And Director To Return For ‘X-Men: First Class’ Sequel

You can rest easy, the next X-Men movie is unlikely to throw the franchise back into the depths of critically-panned hell. Not only does it sound like the original cast will return but the director, Matthew Vaughn, will reprise as well.

Michael Fassbender as a vengeful Magneto and Jennifer Lawrence as the naked blue shapeshifter Mystique are reportedly sure to  star and I would assume James McAvoy too though that has not been confirmed.  Continue reading “Original Cast And Director To Return For ‘X-Men: First Class’ Sequel”

Celebrity Apprentice 2012 Cast, Aiken To Takei Your Lampanelli

Rhymes aside, the Celebrity Apprentice cast of 2012 is mostly made up of stars. I’ll list them from the most to least famous.

Arsenio Hall, Clay Aiken, Lisa Lampanelli, George Takei, Adam Carolla, Debbie Gibson, Tia Carrere, Dee Snider, Lou Ferrigno, Aubrey O’Day, Cheryl Tiegs, Penn Jillette, Teresa Giudice, Michael Andretti, Victoria Gotti, Patricia Velásquez, Paul Teutu and Dayana Mendoza.

The first nine are pretty self-explanatory, talk show host, American Idol loser, raunchy comedian, Star Trek alumn, other comedian, 80’s pop star, Wayne’s World actress, Twisted Sister frontman, TV’s original Incredible Hulk.

Continue reading “Celebrity Apprentice 2012 Cast, Aiken To Takei Your Lampanelli”

Meet The New Cast Of ‘The Real World: San Diego’

The Real World is one of the longest running reality shows I can think of, if not the longest (Since 1992) and is perhaps responsible for the reality-television craze.

I don’t know when the show became a terrible sex-crazed stupidity contest, it used to be emotional, sometimes comedic, yes but meaningful.

The show dealt with important issues, such as aids, homelessness, political differences and homophobia. But that was in the 90’s, when everything was better…

Continue reading “Meet The New Cast Of ‘The Real World: San Diego’”

Why Doesn’t Carson Kressley Dance With A Man On DWTS?

A recent controversy sparked by Chaz Bono had me wondering something…

If Carson Kressley from Queer Eye is gay and on Dancing With The Stars, why doesn’t he get to dance with a man?

Chaz Bono is dancing with a woman, I understand that he is transgendered but if DWTS is so open-minded then why is that not happening?

They still don’t have a professional dancer who is comfortable dancing with another man?

They kind of all look like they would be to me so maybe that is up to the producers? I saw Lacey Schwimmer’s (Chaz’s partner) on TV the other day, she didn’t look so comfortable herself.

Continue reading “Why Doesn’t Carson Kressley Dance With A Man On DWTS?”