If Only ONE of These ’22 Jump Street’ Sequels Were Real…

23 jump street fireman school
If you’ve seen 22 Jump Street then you probably caught the hilarious fake posters for 23/24/25+ Jump Street shown during the credits.

Channing Tatum has unenthusiastically said “I feel like it’s all redundant” about starring in another sequel, but if any of these movies ever got made I at least know I’d be happy…

(But, like Sharknado and 22 Jump Street, I wouldn’t actually watch them.)  Continue reading “If Only ONE of These ’22 Jump Street’ Sequels Were Real…”

Sorry Jenna Dewan, But Channing Tatum is the White Devil

channing tatum albino In the upcoming Wachowski Brothers’ flick, Jupiter Ascending, due summer of 2014 (because it’s sci-fi and sci-fi takes foreverrrr *cough* *cough* Avatar *cough* Prometheus), our boy Channing Tatum plays a knee pad-wearing assassin cross between a wolf and a human who also happens to be an albino…

This is the only time I’m ever going to bring up The Matrix Reloaded, ever, but if you remember, the Wachowskis utilized a set of 50% bald white Stevie Wonder lookin’ motherfuckers in that too, which had me wondering….

Why are there more albinos in the future? Does that mean there’s hope for me?

Also, is there hope for this movie, or Jenna Dewan if he still looks like that in the bedroom during filming?

How Channing Tatum Snubbed The Press With a Single Facebook Photo

channing tatum jenna dewan baby picI get slightly confused when people say Channing Tatum is smart.

I mean, smarts don’t really matter much when you’re that handsome and charismatic, I’m just saying that when the zombie apocalypse comes and the undead come looking for brains they may just pass him up. 

Regardless, the director of White House Down said he wouldn’t have cast Tatum if he hadn’t been so nice and “super smart” and poke-a-hole-in-the-condom worthy.

Beautiful brainless people do have their moments. Kim Kardashian had hers with the whole baby photo switcheroo and Charming Potato and his wife Jenna Dewan had a similar, f*ck those people moment involving their newborn…

Instead of selling their tater tot’s smashed skin fold pug face (I’m speaking generally here) to Us Weekly or People for a fat paycheck, the Potato family decided to simply put a photo of Everly Tatum on Facebook.

Continue reading “How Channing Tatum Snubbed The Press With a Single Facebook Photo”

Trailer: White House Down

Channing Tatum gets semi-serious in White House Down. Like John McClane if Die Hard had sucked been about a member of the Secret Service looking for his daughter with the president (Jamie Foxx).

Looks like a dirty Charming Potato saves the day after terrorists blow up the White House. Rocket launchers and exploding planes are involved because the guy who directed 2012 worships Michael Bay.
Channing Tatum white house down

Funny Video: I Wanna Channing All Over Your Tatum

Jamie Foxx proved himself the biggest celebrity Channing Tatum fan on Sunday during Jimmy Kimmel’s after the Oscars special. The White House Down co-stars appeared on the show following the debut of the Movie: The Movie: 2V trailer starring everyone from Bruno Mars to Oprah.

“I went from being a slave to the president,” Foxx said of the time between Django and the new secret service action flick, adding, “I have not had that many women call me to try to be on a set in my life.”
Continue reading “Funny Video: I Wanna Channing All Over Your Tatum”

Rooney Mara Axed Reverse Cowgirl in ‘Side Effects’

Channing and RooneyWe often hear about actresses who are willing to do nudity that is “tasteful,” but we rarely hear what they actually won’t do.

In a feature for Interview Magazine, Rooney Mara says she draws the line at reverse cowgirl.

On a Side Effects sex scene with Channing Tatum, Mara explains that she “put her foot down”  when director Steven Soderbergh, who was also conducting the interview, asked her to try the position.

If the character should be nude in the scene and it makes sense and I trust the person making the film – and I regret my decision to trust you now that I know you more – then I don’t see a problem with it.

I certainly don’t want to be involved in anything that is gratuitous, but I don’t think the human body is something to be ashamed of.  Continue reading “Rooney Mara Axed Reverse Cowgirl in ‘Side Effects’”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-31-12]

Channing beach shellChanning Tatum puts on big boy snorkel mask, fetches a shell for Jenna Dewan. (ohmyGAHH!)

To compensate for her sister’s ballooning pouch, Ashlee Simpson is wasting away. (Radar)

Lovie Smith, Romeo Crennel, Andy Reid and other NFL coaches and GMs fired. (Deadspin)

Rihanna/Lana favorite A$AP Rocky sued for assaulting photographers while high. (NME)

Adam Lambert wonders why Les Miserables execs hired people who couldn’t sing. (Evil Beet)

Mother gives her new #daughter the #worst, least-trendy #trending name ever. (Huffington Post)

Justin Theroux doesn’t quite have Brad Pitt’s Adonis physique. Almost, but not quite. (Celebuzz)

Add Fatherhood to the List of Things You Love About Channing Tatum

Channing Tatum wife JennaSexiest man alive Channing Tatum and most-envied woman alive Jenna Dewan-Tatum are expecting their first child! After speculation that Dewan was sporting a baby bump at VH1 Divas, representatives for the couple told People that they are “pleased to announce” the arrival of a tiny charming potato sometime next year.

Channing said in an interview just last month that they were both “ready” for children.

“The first number that pops into my head is three, but I just want one to be healthy and then we’ll see where we go after that. It’s really easy for us guys to say, ‘I want like 15 kids.’ Jenna will be like, ‘Well you better get another wife!'”  Continue reading “Add Fatherhood to the List of Things You Love About Channing Tatum”

Channing Tatum is Sexy And Everyone Knows it

Channing Tatum is really hard to dislike.

I desperately want to find something wrong with him, like maybe that he’s too aware of his sexiness, or that his nose is slightly large, but I’m reaching.

Tatum found out he was named the coveted Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine (previously awarded to Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds and Johnny Depp) while him and his wife were de-skunking their dog.

“My first thought was, ‘Y’all are messing with me. I told Jenna after we’d been in the bathtub washing our dogs,” he tells the mag.

Oh yeah, that’s his biggest flaw. HE’S NOT MARRIED TO YOU and your plan to meet him after spraying his canine friend didn’t work.  Continue reading “Channing Tatum is Sexy And Everyone Knows it”

A Prequel To ‘Magic Mike?’ Sure, Why Not

While I find the idea of an origin story for people with names like “Big Dick Richie” unnecessary, I’m sure the millions of women who saw Magic Mike will disagree. Turns out, there probably is going to be a second movie for those of you who were left “wanting more.” Channing Tatum told UK Glamour, “We’re working on the concept now, we want to flip the script and make it bigger.”

Here’s the part where I say, wait? Magic Mike had a script? But I didn’t see it and I figure there’s a story in there somewhere. In June, Joe Manganiello told Hollywood.com“We’re actually talking about the possibility of doing the prequel. Because if you do the sequel, then you lose Mike.” Continue reading “A Prequel To ‘Magic Mike?’ Sure, Why Not”

Who Is Best Suited To Play Finnick In ‘Catching Fire?’

There’s been a lot of talk about casting for Catching Fire, (renamed The Hunger Games: Catching Fire as to not confuse theater-goers), the sequel to one of the biggest blockbusters of all time.

One of the biggest roles is Finnick Odair – the muscular, reddish brown-haired, green-eyed, former victor (and Capital prostitute-by-force) who wields a trident and swims like Michael Phelps.  Continue reading “Who Is Best Suited To Play Finnick In ‘Catching Fire?’”

Trailer: Magic Mike (That Male Stripper Movie With Channing Tatum & Matthew McConaughey)

Steven Soderbergh has a lot of credibility under his belt, or at least, some. In the early 2000’s he directed Traffic with Benicio Del Toro, Ocean’s Eleven with Pitt and Clooney, and Erin Brockovich starring Julia Roberts’ cleavage.

Then, in 2011 there was Contagion (infectious at the box office I guess) and Haywire, with its sparse but amazing action sequences featuring Gina Carano and her randomly altered voice.

Continue reading “Trailer: Magic Mike (That Male Stripper Movie With Channing Tatum & Matthew McConaughey)”