Random Celebs Weigh in on the ‘Duck Dynasty’ Controversy

Jon Stewart duck dynastyA hoard of famous whelps crawled out of the woodwork to comment on homophobic comments made by Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson over the week, from the Stephen Colberts to the reality famewhores. Here’s what Robertson said to stir the pot:

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.”


“It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

And here’s what a bunch of other noteworthy-ish people had to say…

Jon Stewart: “I assumed it was a show in which ducks re-enact the show ‘Dynasty’ … which, by the way, would have a huge gay following,”

George Takei: “I don’t really care feather someone on a reality show said something about gays that didn’t fit the bill. He’s entitled to his opinion, even if it’s for the birds. But the network also is worried about flocking with its base, so if it feels it should drake him over the coals for making his fowl comments, so be it.”

Stephen Colbert:  “It’s not the eloquent speech you might expect from a backwoods Louisiana bird-murderer.”  Continue reading “Random Celebs Weigh in on the ‘Duck Dynasty’ Controversy”

Charlie Sheen Says Farrah Abraham Has ‘Tranny Boobs’

farrah-abraham silicone implantsSooo you probably know about the subcategory of pond scum that Farrah Abraham belongs to?

First we have Amber Rose, Paris Hilton, Snooki, and Kim Kardashian. People who didn’t do much to become famous but are able to sell perfume or clothing because they made an inadvertent sex tape, dated someone famous or got punched on TV.

Then there are the Courtney Stodden and Tan Moms of the world. Octomom and that girl Pumpkin (a person) who spit on New York (a person) on Flavor of Love probably fit in here too.

Farrah Abraham, star of porn and Teen Mom, who probably calls the paparazzi before every inane coffee enema, tanning session or boob job and DEFINITELY leaks texts from people who are much more deserving of fame, is part of this subcategory.  Continue reading “Charlie Sheen Says Farrah Abraham Has ‘Tranny Boobs’”

Charlie Sheen’s Apology and Reason For Using The Other F-Word

Charlie Sheen mayor of Los AngelesCharlie Sheen cheekily tells TMZ that he meant to say “maggot” instead of “faggot” at the opening of a rooftop bar he co-owns because he has a speech impediment.

Sheen originally caused a mini uproar when he said, “Lying bunch of faggot assholes, how we doing?” to a crowd at Epic inside El Ganzo hotel in Cabo San Lucas.

“I meant to say maggot but I have a lisp,” he explained.

The rest of his apology (“I meant no ill will and intended to hurt no one and I apologize if I offended anyone”) was sadly lacking in warlock or Vatican assassin talk. Maybe next time?

Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson

Lindsay Lohan role modelsLindsay Lohan has the luck of a toad stuffed in a mailbox with a handful of lit fireworks, so it’s good that she has helpful people like Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson and Michael Lohan in her life.

After learning that Lindsay owed quite a hefty sum ($233,904) to the IRS, who have seized her bank accounts, Sheen reportedly offered Lindsay $100,000 after getting close with her on the set of Scary Movie 5. That sort of makes sense, I guess. Mel Gibson telling Extra that he “may” help Lindsay makes less sense, except that he must relate to being disliked.

Forget washed-up actors with misplaced paternal feelings! Actual father Michael Lohan has weighed in. “Where is all her money going?” he said in his usual opinionated-but-innocent-bystander type of way.  Continue reading “Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson”

Two Train Wrecks For The Price of One, Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen in ‘Scary Movie 5’

Charlie Sheen, who played Tom Logan in Scary Movie 3 and died in Scary Movie 4, has signed on for a fifth installment along with keg-of-full-blown-crazy Lindsay Lohan.

The original face of Scary Movie, Ana Faris, is not returning and while a release date is not confirmed, it is expected to hit theaters in early 2013.

Disney starlet Ashley Tisdale will appear as “Jody.”

So, recovering Charlie Sheen on set with never-recovered Lohan. I have an idea…  Continue reading “Two Train Wrecks For The Price of One, Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen in ‘Scary Movie 5’”

What’s Going On With Charlie Sheen’s Neck?

I should probably feel bad about writing an article on Charlie Sheen‘s HD neck wrinkles in the aftermath of the Colorado shooting. But, I’m only human and can’t stop the flow of “news” stories.

Sheen has been making the rounds, promoting his new show Anger Management (which I hear is a lot like Two And A Half Men minus one and a half of the men).

On Thursday night he visited Jimmy Kimmel looking quite refreshed, except for one thing – his neck. It’s like he’s transferred all the years of drugs, alcohol, stress and vigorous goddess sex out of his face and into the equatorial place where his torso meets his head.  Continue reading “What’s Going On With Charlie Sheen’s Neck?”

Charlie Sheen Finally Hits The Ashton Kutcher Dislike Button

The MaSheen called TMZ on Thursday and either said how he really feels about Ashton Kutcher on Two And A Half Men or what he knows to say because he’s in an attention-seeking crackpipe mood.

He says he’s “tired of lying.” His exact words “I’m tired of pretending Ashton doesn’t suck.” He also says he’s sick of acting like the show itself doesn’t suck.

My question is why didn’t he realize that in 2003 when Two Forgotten 80s Stars And A Fat Troublemaker Started? Come on Charlie, you know it was never worth anything but those outstanding sound mixing and multi-camera picture editing Emmys it repeatedly won. Continue reading “Charlie Sheen Finally Hits The Ashton Kutcher Dislike Button”

The Charlie Sheen Roast Was Funny (But Not The Best Ever)

Monday marked the airing of Comedy Central’s Roast Of Charlie Sheen and while it was quite funny, to me it still ranked somewhere below the Flavor Flav and Pamela Anderson, next to the Hasselhoff roast, above the Shatner one. (Precise enough?)

The roast seems to be receiving more hype than I remember past roasts getting, and I realized it must just be the high-profile relevance of Sheen.

He’s almost bigger today than he ever was, but for all the wrong reasons…

Continue reading “The Charlie Sheen Roast Was Funny (But Not The Best Ever)”

Warlock Sighting At Emmys?

Charlie Sheen will almost definitely appear at the 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards, possibly as a presenter. I’m not sure WHY, except for ratings. (I kind of want him to go away, he’s starting to amuse me less and less)

The Emmys air a day before Sheen’s Comedy Central roast, and will be hosted by Jane Lynch, the funniest skeleton you ever did see.

Here’s who I want to win:

Game Of Thrones or Friday Night Lights for Outstanding Drama Series. Late Night With Jimmy Fallon for Outstanding Variety Series. Degrassi for Outstanding Children’s Program…

Continue reading “Warlock Sighting At Emmys?”

I Know You’re Already Aware, But Juggalos Are SCARY

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Check out the scary scary slideshow (above) of random juggalos and juggalettes, and some of the performers at the event….

The annual Gathering of The Juggalos took place on August 11, 2011 in Illinois, and I cannot emphasis enough how terrified I am of these people.

It’s not like I sit in my house shivering, waiting for a bunch of painted-clown face wiggers to bust into my house and kill me. They’re just so weird, and beyond my sense of reality. I could say I don’t know what goes through their fumigated heads, but it’s simple. Beer. Clowns. Music. Beer. Tits. ICP.

This year a wonderfully varied group of characters performed at the festival, such as Lil’ Jon, Ice Cube, the other ice: Vanilla, MC Hammer, Dustin Diamond, Ron Jeremy, Xzibit, Tech N9ne, Flavor Flav, Juvenile, George Clinton and of course the founders of the festival, Insane Clown Posse.

Continue reading “I Know You’re Already Aware, But Juggalos Are SCARY”