Fred Armisen is Someone Basically All Women Should Avoid

Take what anonymous commenters on the internet have to say with a grain of salt, but there are just too many similar stories about Portlandia pioneer and Late Night bandleader Fred Armisen not being the fun, nice nerd-guy you imagine for it to be a coincidence.

Before and after Armisen’s ex-wife Elisabeth Moss publicly called being married to him “traumatic” and “horrible,” many non-famous women have taken to the internet to share their experiences. Apparently, Fred likes to keep girls on the side. Girls that he is very attentive and sweet with until he gets what he wants, and while his marriage to Moss might not have broken up because he was “sleeping with prostitutes,” as one commenter suggested, one woman did say this:

Fred got me pregnant, I had a miscarriage and he abandoned me.

And that’s not a stand-alone statement just coming out of nowhere. There are handfuls of people using the words “sociopath,” “cheater” and “asshole” to describe him.

He’s also very funny, so if you have a vagina, turn on your TV and laugh at him from afar. Or just work with him be gay. That seems to work for Carrie Brownstein.

The Dark-Haired Guy From One Direction Cheated On The Blonde Girl From Little Mix

Zayn Malik Perrie EdwardsMy knowledge of British boy and girl bands doesn’t stretch beyond the Girls Aloud documentary and early fondness for BBMak and the Spice Girls, but since we’re all fascinated by celebrity misfortune, I’ll tell you about the latest cheating scandal involving perfectly groomed children of the UK.

One Direction’s Zayn Malik (“dark-haired guy” because his is the darkest of the four brunette members) has been dating Perrie Edwards (usually blonde, currently purple?) of the four-piece girl group Little Mix for about a year.

They were both on The X Factor in different seasons (7 and 8) and fans refer to them as “Zerrie” and think they’re the cutest couple in all of Disneyland or The Matrix or whatever.  Continue reading “The Dark-Haired Guy From One Direction Cheated On The Blonde Girl From Little Mix”