Chelsea Gets Nude in the Shower with Ellen

Ellen chelsea showerChelsea Handler is making a big, well-publicized move from E! to Netflix for a reported $10 million.

For her final sendoff on E! Chelsea displayed ultimate raunch levels during a more hit-than-miss shower scene with Ellen DeGeneres where Ellen wonders why she’s never been asked to appear on the show and Chelsea pretends to not know Ellen’s sexual orientation while bouncing up and down naked in front of a million cameras like a porn star without the risk of infection.

Later, Jennifer Aniston, Sandra Bullock and 50 Cent appeared along with Miley, Selena Gomez and Gwen Stefani for an intervention and some live music, because what’s more likely to get ratings than awkward nudity and oodles of celebrities? Continue reading “Chelsea Gets Nude in the Shower with Ellen”

Chelsea Handler Leaves E!, May Replace Piers Morgan

Uganda Be Kidding Me author, comedian and only-woman-in-late-night, Chelsea Handler is reportedly packing up her bags and leaving the E! network. A recent statement from her manager makes it sound like she’ll be starting fresh instead of moving Chelsea Lately to another network.

“Chelsea intends to leave when her contract expires. She hired me to figure out her life after E! We have at least seven suitors and many ideas,” Irving Azoff revealed.

E! took a chance on Handler in 2006 when she was a virtual unknown with The Chelsea Handler Show, which lasted one season and eventually evolved into a talk show that went from only booking D-list reality stars to moving to a new studio with appearances by the likes of Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock.

Continue reading “Chelsea Handler Leaves E!, May Replace Piers Morgan”

Lindsay Lohan Hosting ‘Chelsea Lately’ Next Week

Lindsay Lohan chelsea handlerLindsay Lohan continues her seven-year attempt at a comeback with a late night hosting gig on E!’s Chelsea Lately. Lohan will take over for Chelsea Handler next Monday, August 5.

Handler and Lohan’s history dates back to the opening segment of the 2010 VMAs, when Lohan slapped Chelsea’s ass and called her an alcoholic. Prior to that date, Chelsea had made fun of Lohan’s various DUIs and other legal issues, then met her, called her “sweet” on her show, and went back to making fun of her a few months later.

What’s harder, comedians trying not to make fun of Lindsay, or Lindsay showing up on time?

Remind me to set my DVR not to record that day. Secondhand embarrassment is lethal.

Heather Locklear Comes Off a Tad Bitchy Talking About Her Non-Date With Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise Heather Locklear 80s Heather Locklear came on Chelsea Lately last night to tell a few stories, including one semi-interesting one about how she hung out with Tom Cruise back in the day and was disturbed by his dance moves.

“It wasn’t really a date,” Locklear told Chelsea Handler. “We had auditioned for something together and he didn’t have any friends … I mean, not that he doesn’t have friends. Out here he doesn’t have friends.”

I’m guessing by the way she talks about him that he didn’t call her back or something, because what woman in their right mind wouldn’t sit on circa 1982 Tom Cruise’s face? Oh yeah, someone who married Richie Sambora after an eight ball and a handful of elephant tranquilizers.

“You know in Risky Business where he does that dance in his underwear and he does the splits?” she said. “We were dancing in a club and he went into that. He started doing the splits.”  Continue reading “Heather Locklear Comes Off a Tad Bitchy Talking About Her Non-Date With Tom Cruise”

Chelsea Handler D*ckslapped by Conan O’Brien

Chelsea and Conan showerChelsea Handler is counting down to the 1100th episode of Chelsea Lately on E! In a preposterous video from the opening of her 1081st show, Chelsea returns to the shower with Conan O’Brien.

Last time we saw her naked she was celebrating her move to the Universal lot with an extra bossy and critical Sandra Bullock. This time, it’s Chelsea, the second woman in late night, who shames Conan.

After complaining that she stole his studio, parking space, back massager and shower, Chelsea calls Conan a pussy and dickslaps herself after commanding him to raise his arms above his head.

Continue reading “Chelsea Handler D*ckslapped by Conan O’Brien”

Chelsea Handler Gets Naked With Sandra Bullock For New ‘Chelsea Lately’ Studio

Chelsea Handler has been talking up her move to a new studio (Conan’s old set from The Tonight Show) on the Universal Lot for several weeks now and that day finally arrived on October 15.

Her last episode in the old studio featured special appearances from rapping Gywneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz and Monday’s opening held another surprise –

Chelsea and Sandra Bullock in the shower. Bullock scolded Chelsea, slapping her and humiliated her with jokes about her bladder.

Continue reading “Chelsea Handler Gets Naked With Sandra Bullock For New ‘Chelsea Lately’ Studio”

‘A League Of Their Own’ Director Penny Marshall Says Madonna Was ‘Too Cut’

Laverne & Shirley actress, director, and author of the new book My Mother Was Nuts Penny Marshall visited Chelsea Lately on September 26, 2012 and quickly discussed her iconic movie A League Of Their Own, specifically Madonna‘s arms.

“She was in great shape, she just came with a trainer, I said ‘you’ve gotta stop, your arms shouldn’t be this cut in 1943. They didn’t work out that much, they were in the kitchen,” she told Chelsea Handler in her signature glasses.

On the friendship between Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna (who played the swing dancing Mae Mordabito and wrote the movie’s theme song “This Used to Be My Playground” in 1992), Marshall said:

Continue reading “‘A League Of Their Own’ Director Penny Marshall Says Madonna Was ‘Too Cut’”

Nelsan Ellis’ Secret To Playing Lafayette On ‘True Blood’

Nelsan Ellis has played the wildly flamboyant Layfayette on HBO’s True Blood for the past five years (he’s straight in real life).

Creator Alan Ball decided to stray from the Charlaine Harris books the show is based on when he kept Nelsan’s character alive.

Ellis told EW in 2009 that Ball didn’t tell him he wouldn’t be killed off until the 12th episode of season one.

Recently he visited Chelsea Lately and revealed his secret to playing such a realistically gay character…

Chelsea: “How did you decide to play a gay character if you’re a straight guy?”

Nelsan: “I just act like my mama…I’ve been watching her all my life. I’ve been watching her and imitating her. I can just do what she do [snaps fingers].”  Continue reading “Nelsan Ellis’ Secret To Playing Lafayette On ‘True Blood’”

Bar Refaeli Wasn’t Mad At TSA For Feeling Her ‘Down’

Israeli Model and #1 ranked on Maxim’s Hot 100, Bar Refaeli, visited Chelsea Lately on Monday, May 28.

She told Handler that her Tweet about an encounter with TSA at the airport last month was blown out of proportion.

Here’s what she wrote on April 17:

“I got a security ‘patdown’ by a woman at the airport that made me feel very uncomfortable and left no doubt about her sexual preferences.”

The comment, which angered a lot of people, may have been taken out of context…. Continue reading “Bar Refaeli Wasn’t Mad At TSA For Feeling Her ‘Down’”

Rihanna And Eli Manning Biff SNL, Helga Handler Cleans Up The Mess

Lorne Michaels is not happy with Rihanna.

The singer missed her dress rehearsal due to an undisclosed illness that wasn’t serious enough to keep her from singing live or ‘eating an apple and walking around in between songs.’

I’m almost relieved to hear she was sick, while Rihanna may be known for off-an-on performances, she seemed to be channeling Britney Spears circa 2007 MTV Video Music Awards on Saturday.

Besides that, during “Talk That Talk” and “Where Have You Been” she repeatedly fanned and tapped the top of her vagina. It was kind of like a coconut ripeness test? Or a weave patting session?  Continue reading “Rihanna And Eli Manning Biff SNL, Helga Handler Cleans Up The Mess”

Chelsea Handler Conducts Cringeworthy Interview With Alison Brie

As a regular viewer, I’m more than familiar with the sometimes unscripted, in-your-face interviewing carelessness of Chelsea Handler.

That doesn’t mean I was prepared for Community/Mad Men/Five-Year Engagement star Alison Brie to tell a story about her perversity at age seven.

We all know kids are perverts, but the topic of their unknowing sexuality or joking raunchiness is usually a taboo subject strictly limited to small gatherings of parents behind closed doors. Not national television.  Continue reading “Chelsea Handler Conducts Cringeworthy Interview With Alison Brie”

The Joan Rivers And Chelsea Handler Feud

Joan Rivers and Chelsea Handler have a lot in common, maybe too much. They’re loudmouth female comedians and they work for the same network.

Both women visited the Howard Stern Show last week, Handler on Monday January 23 and Rivers the following day.

When Howard asked Chelsea about Joan’s previous criticism towards her she responded, “Joan Rivers? I mean, what the fuck do I care about Joan Rivers?…I saw Joan Rivers the other day at E! and she said hi, her and that daughter…I don’t not like her but I don’t think about either one of them ever.”

Continue reading “The Joan Rivers And Chelsea Handler Feud”

Jennifer Aniston’s In Love…With Chelsea Handler

At the Glamour Women of the Year Awards at Carnegie Hall in New York, Jennifer Aniston declared her love and respect for her newfound friend and honoree Chelsea Handler.

“I rarely comment on my personal life but I am here to tell you that I’m madly in love. And I’m madly in love with the one and only Chelsea Handler.”

So people were expecting her to replace Chelsea’s name with her actual boyfriend Justin Theroux, but the speech was quite funny and welcomed by the audience which also included Jennifer Lopez, Lea Michele and Emma Stone.

“It wasn’t love at first sight. Like most logical people in the entertainment world, I only appeared as a guest on her show so she wouldn’t talk shit about me.” 

Continue reading “Jennifer Aniston’s In Love…With Chelsea Handler”

Why Doesn’t Carson Kressley Dance With A Man On DWTS?

A recent controversy sparked by Chaz Bono had me wondering something…

If Carson Kressley from Queer Eye is gay and on Dancing With The Stars, why doesn’t he get to dance with a man?

Chaz Bono is dancing with a woman, I understand that he is transgendered but if DWTS is so open-minded then why is that not happening?

They still don’t have a professional dancer who is comfortable dancing with another man?

They kind of all look like they would be to me so maybe that is up to the producers? I saw Lacey Schwimmer’s (Chaz’s partner) on TV the other day, she didn’t look so comfortable herself.

Continue reading “Why Doesn’t Carson Kressley Dance With A Man On DWTS?”

No More Stand-Up For Chelsea Handler

Tuesday, August 9th on E!’s Chelsea Lately, funnylady host Chelsea Handler casually mentioned that she would not be touring for a long time after her next two tour dates in New Jersey and Atlantic City.

After saying that they were her last two dates “ever,” round-table member Jo Koy asked if she was serious, and she responded by saying that if she didn’t run out of money, she was done with stand-up and touring for a long time. She cited wanting to pursue other things (probably acting and/or producing) as the reason behind it. I’m guessing she’s also worn out from both touring AND hosting a show that usually airs four times a week.

But I’m also positive she will eventually do stand-up again. Don’t fret.

Better go see her at PNC Bank Center in Holmdel, NJ and at Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, otherwise, no more Chelsea bang bang horizontal vodka pikachu on the road for a long time.