Ben Affleck Is The New Batman … How Does That Make You Feel?

Affleck Duck batman Zack Snyder impressed me with Man of Steel even though I was slightly disturbed that Superman put his poor mother through the ringer destroying her house, basically killing her husband and his adopted father by respecting his stupid prideful wish to die in a tornado and then barely offered her a hug as consolation before he flew away.

Fortunately, Batman is going to save the day in the sequel, teaming up with Superman as superbros for DC life because they have to at least try to compete with Marvel. And who knows, maybe Joseph Gordon-Levitt will show up as Robin ala World’s Finest Comics?

The role of Batman, best played by Michael Keaton and I guess Christian Bale, has been officially scooped up by Ben Affleck. This is all dandy with me because he at least has dark hair and a cleft chin and probably won’t talk in that horrible voice that Bale also used in Terminator.  Continue reading “Ben Affleck Is The New Batman … How Does That Make You Feel?”

Christian Bale Is Capable Of Being A Nice Guy

Christian Bale popped up unannounced to visit five victims of The Dark Knight Rises shooting at the Medical Center of Aurora on Tuesday, all sweet and low-key in jeans and a t-shirt.

He spent two and a half hours at the facility, and snapped photos with several of the victims and some of the employees as well. One, Carey Rottman (left) posted the photo on Facebook.

“The patients were really happy to meet Bale,” hospital president Bill Voloch told reporters. “They are obviously big fans of his movies. They wanted to see Batman and were really pleased to see Bale.”

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‘American Psycho’ Starring Scott Disick? I’m There

Bret Easton Ellis, the author behind American Psycho, who also produced the 2000 movie of the same name starring a plethora of relevant stars of 2011, has expressed interest in Kourtney Kardashian’s evil Disney villain boyfriend, Scott Disick, for the role of Patrick Bateman in an upcoming remake.

American Psycho is the cult classic that originally depicted Christian Bale as a well-dressed status-obesssed ladykilling businessman who didn’t prefer any particular weapon. He uses an axe, a nail gun, oh and drops a chainsaw on a hooker in a stairwell.

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Hark, The Herald Angels Sing! No More Christian Bale As Batman!

The bitter part of this news is that Christopher Nolan also resigned from future Batman projects. And even though I can admit that the Bale/Nolan combination has been magical, it really is time to move on. Bale’s voice as Batman DROVE me fucking insane. Honestly, I almost preferred niptastic George Clooney.

In an interview with the Philippine Daily Inquirer the actor broke the news, “I wrapped a few days ago so that will be the last time I’m taking that cowl off. I believe the whole production wrapped yesterday, so it’s all done. Everything’s finished. It’s me and Chris – that will be the end of that Batman era.”

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Since When Does Batman Sweat Outside His Suit?

The third set of stills from The Dark Knight Rises have come out and I’m a little curious about one picture in particular, where an assistant/Nolan lackey is dabbing Batman’s head with a cloth.

Is the suit sweating? Was there a stain on it? Was it not shiny enough?

Whatever the reason, it looks like a waste of time. You know what DOESN’T look like a waste of time? This epic fight scene between Baleman and Bane (Tom Hardy) near the Occupy Wall Street riots!

Government bailouts? BIFF. No health insurance? BAM. Student loans? THWACK. Damp tent? POW.

I’d really like to see that deep-voiced nutsack Batman taken down a notch for screwing over America/Gotham and letting Rachel Dawes die.

On a random note, the more I see Anne Hathaway in that Star Fleet costume the more I wish someone would put her in a bag and toss her in a lake. (Catwoman not Anne, they’re different, right?)

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New Superman AND Catwoman Costumes Revealed!

Costumes have recently been revealed for the two biggest upcoming comic book movie releases, Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises (due Summer 2012) and Zach Snyder’s remake of Superman, Man Of Steel, due out in 2013.

The changes to the Superman suit are very subtle or non-existant. The only real difference is the lack of signature curly-q hair string.

The true shocker comes from the new Catwoman outfit, which is too complicated and space-agey for its own good(=bad), if you ask me and anyone else. But there is SOMEONE coming to the outfit’s defense, Anne Hathaway herself, who said,

“What I am happy to say is, if you didn’t like the photo, you only see about a tenth of what that suit can do. And if you did like the photo, you have excellent taste.”

Continue reading “New Superman AND Catwoman Costumes Revealed!”