REST IN PEACE Chuck Norris, Hello Carlos Ray

beardless Chuck Norris I know a girl whose ovaries fall out every time she sees Chuck Norris on TV. She watches Walker, Texas Ranger reruns almost every day, so she’s obviously evolved to regenerate vital organs.

Onto other scientific miracles… You’ve probably already guessed from my opening sentence that the above picture is not of William H. Macy or Tim Allen with AIDS, but of a beardless Chuck Norris.

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Good Casting Cannot Make ‘Expendables 2’ Desirable

2010’s The Expendables directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone, featured an A-list action-hero cast…

Sadly, casting couldn’t save the first film from mind-bogglingly poor special-effects and a plot so bad it made me wish I was starring in a real-life version of the movie – as a henchwoman who dies two minutes in.

Not only has a sequel to The Expendables been confirmed but casting rumors have been as well by Stallone himself. Not only will Arnold Schwarzenegger  and Bruce Willis reprise their roles ‘in a more substantial way,’ but Mr. Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris himself will appear…

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