Jesse Pinkman is Inside Your Xbox One’s Head

aaron paul xbox memeAaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad) lives on in crappy car movies, random interviews and televised commercials for Xbox One. Commercials where he utilizes voice commands like “Xbox on,” that are causing consoles across America to power up without their owner’s consent.

“Hey Aaron Paul, please stop messing with my Xbox,” seemed to be the sentiment of most.

Such first world/white male problems. “OH NO, this expensive flat box with the sound and moving pictures is making this other expensive, less flat box beep every time I reach for the bowl of artisan sea salt popcorn resting on my sectional leather sofa…

…I’m totally going to go on a killing spree now and cite this as the ‘reason.'”  Continue reading “Jesse Pinkman is Inside Your Xbox One’s Head”

Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won

Joe Flacco trophyFrom a blackout (which would’ve been the 49ers’ MVP if they’d won) that was either caused by Ray Lewis’ tears or Beyonce’s hairdryer, to a near San Francisco comeback, Super Bowl XLVII turned out to be pretty eventful.

Here’s a late breakdown:

I’m slightly ashamed to admit that a commercial featuring a baby Budweiser Clydesdale somehow made me cry more than Jennifer Hudson’s performance with 26 children from Sandy Hook elementary.

Alicia Keys (who should have switched with J-Hud) sat at her piano and gave us the jazzy low-risk version of the National Anthem.  Continue reading “Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won”

Chanel pays Brad Pitt $7 million dollars to cock tease women

What do you do with male sex symbols who have passed their sexual peak and reside in pussy-whipped village? Woman’s fragrance commercials. (see Timberlake for Givenchy)

In this series of short teasers, Brad asks “mysterious” questions like “What’s the mystery?” and “Are you going somewhere? … Where?”  Continue reading “Chanel pays Brad Pitt $7 million dollars to cock tease women”

No More Creepy Burger King Commercials

Now that Burger King is attempting to trick people into thinking their menu is “healthy” by introducing more salads and wraps and other items that taste no different from the cardboard they come encased in, they are getting rid of their memorable mascot and his eerie commercials!

The creepy Burger King king in the big furry pimp coat and gold chain is no more! For now at least.

The company cites the change in their menu and advertising, to USA Today, as a lean towards targeting moms instead of teens. Hmmmm.

This Monday a new item, the California Whopper will be available at all locations. The hamburger was previously only attainable in four states and three Scandinavian countries. Supposedly the California Whopper is chalk-full of guacamole and the usual genetic mutations of fast-food vegetables.

Alex Macedo, Burger King’s senior marketing VP, said there are “no plans to bring the King back anytime soon.”

Continue reading “No More Creepy Burger King Commercials”