Sarah Palin Sticks it to Mayor Bloomberg

Sarah Palin Big Gulp Sarah Palin celebrated Mayor Bloomberg’s ban on soda falling through the cracks by sipping a 600-calorie Big Gulp at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference where I assume Republicans vent their anger by burning popsicle stick abortion clinics and chanting “Legitimate rape, Obama h8!”

“Bloomberg is not around, our Big Gulps are safe. We’re cool. Shoot, it’s just pop with low-cal ice-cubes in it,” Palin told the crowd.

I’m with glasses. Somehow, all the way on the West Coast, the word of a proposed ban on oversized sodas made me sympathize with gun-nuts. After all, my freedoms as a future diabeetus-having ‘Merican were being trampled by donkeys.  Continue reading “Sarah Palin Sticks it to Mayor Bloomberg”

Victoria Jackson Wants ‘White History Month’ To Come Before Black History Month

Victoria Jackson crazyAngry bag of wet cats Victoria Jackson has decided that the first day of Black History Month is the perfect time to talk about why January should be called “White History Month” in honor of important dead white men.

Ironically, Jackson is the black mold (and black ice) of the conservative party who (I think) pretends to thrive on choking out the freedoms of people who don’t share her views because she’s really bored and attention-starved.

In a now-deleted article posted on victoriajacksonshow.com, Victoria wrote that she was “tired” of whities (who are now “becoming a minority”) being attacked by the media.  Continue reading “Victoria Jackson Wants ‘White History Month’ To Come Before Black History Month”

Neil Patrick Harris ‘Too Gay’ For The Super Bowl

Neil Patrick Harris eye black Neil Patrick Harris is being accused of “pushing a gay agenda” and mocking Christianity because of a new Super Bowl promo featuring him wearing eye black with the date of the game written inside it.

“CBS, the television network airing the big game this year, is now using an outspoken homosexual actor to mimic Tim Tebow’s style of trumpeting messages in eyeblack on his face,” Joe Kovacs of the conservative website WND wrote in an article titled “‘Gay’ CBS star now mimics Tim Tebow?”  Continue reading “Neil Patrick Harris ‘Too Gay’ For The Super Bowl”

Here’s That Lena Dunham ‘First Time’ Video That Everyone Freaked Out Over

Girls creator Lena Dunham released a campaign ad for Barack Obama that playfully compared voting for the first time to losing your virginity and the conservatives who would rather pretend sex doesn’t exist and shove it in a corner like it’s a haunted ventriloquist doll predictably hated it.

“It tickles me to no end that while my twitter feed was blowing up with conservative hate,” Dunham wrote on Twitter. “I was literally hanging out in a pile of bisexuals.”

The most outrageous response to the video came from Ben Shapiro of BigGovernment.com, who said that Obama is exploiting young women.  Continue reading “Here’s That Lena Dunham ‘First Time’ Video That Everyone Freaked Out Over”

Natalie Portman Is ‘Rouge Nude’ For New Dior Campaign

So Yahoo’s headline for a story about Natalie Portman’s skin-baring Dior makeup ad is “Natalie Portman sheds conservative image in nude Dior ad.” Is it just me, or is “conservative” an odd word to use for someone who went onscreen clam-diving with Mila Kunis?

The photos were shot by the guy who did 2011’s Pirelli calendar (an elite publication featuring nude models and actresses). Yahoo! brings up the “high-necked dress” Portman wore on her wedding to back up her prudish image, then casually namedrops Black Swan in the next paragraph.  Continue reading “Natalie Portman Is ‘Rouge Nude’ For New Dior Campaign”