Popular Boy Band Gets High

Zayn Malik getting high If only cell phone cameras had been around in the late ’90s and early 2000s, I could have seen Britney Spears inspecting Justin Timberlake’s crunchy hair for lice after dropping ecstasyor Backstreet Boy AJ McLean taking shots and playing NBA Street with Hooters girls instead of rehearsing.

What I get instead is Louis Tomlinson of One Direction filming his band mate in a car in Peru with a joint in his hand and a motorcycle cop literally right outside the window and dear God I just don’t care about this kind of music anymore. 

Don’t blame the weed. One Direction are definitely terrible role models, but only because they don’t play any instruments and have no discernible talent. If you combined all five of them into one man, that man might be moderately attractive.  Continue reading “Popular Boy Band Gets High”

Instant Messages From NY ‘Cannibal Cop’ Gilberto Valle Will Make You Cringe

Every once and awhile, a news story comes along that is so disturbing and so outrageous that you begin to lose touch with reality and feel like you’re reading a horror script by Eli Roth.

Yesterday an officer in Queens, New York was arrested for conspiring to cook and eat 100 female victims. Instant messages from 28-year-old Gilberto Valle III, a six-year employee of the NYPD, to an accomplice have been acquired by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

In the messages, Valle wrote to two unnamed co-conspirators about ovens, chloroform, cages, and not wasting the meat. The price of a fresh human snack: $5,000.  Continue reading “Instant Messages From NY ‘Cannibal Cop’ Gilberto Valle Will Make You Cringe”

What Is Wrong With Cops These Days?

During the West Indian-American Carnival and Parade several members of the NYPD were filmed dry-hump dancing with some of the barely-dressed festival participant women.

However Commissioner Ray Kelly would rather not ‘make too much of it.’

He told reporters at a press conference after the incident occurred over Labor Day Weekend,

“I don’t want to make too much of it. You know, these young women approached the officers. They didn’t go out of their way to be approached like this.” 

Continue reading “What Is Wrong With Cops These Days?”

Cop Caught In Sex Act

A cop in Santa Fe, New Mexico was caught on a Canyon Ranch security camera having sex on top of a car. It wasn’t a cop car, but he was in full uniform, so it’s causing quite a ruckus with the press.

The officer, Bert Lopez, is not being charged with a crime but is on administrative leave until the media frenzy dies down a little.

NM state police spokesman, Sgt. Tim Johnson told the press,

“At this point we do not believe any criminal activity occurred.”

Continue reading “Cop Caught In Sex Act”