Ray Rice Halloween Costume is Utterly Tasteless

Ray Rice halloween costumeIf you know me at all you know that I am sometimes amused by utterly tasteless and horrible things like, for instance, this Ray Rice costume. Simple yet effective and featuring a pantless blow-up doll, it’s unknown who this brave man is, but a friend of his posted photos on Imgur at some point that were thankfully saved and spread around by Uproxx.

Adrian Peterson beating his son and Solange, Jay-Z and Beyonce on the elevator seem like appropriate follow-ups, but I’m definitely going as naked Jennifer Lawrence.

Macklemore Didn’t Mean to Disguise Himself as a Big-Nosed Jew

Macklemore jewish costumeBlond-haired, green-eyed shiksa Macklemore is attempting to explain why and how he ended up becoming a racial stereotype at one of his concerts.

The Seattle-native bought “a bunch of fake mustaches and beards” and a “big witch nose” so he could walk undetected through the audience, apparently unaware of what he looked like, saying the costume was “random” and “not my idea of a stereotype of anybody.”

Seth Rogen hilariously Tweeted “First you trick people into thinking you’re a rapper, now you trick them into thinking you’re Jewish?” Adding that his wig, nose and beard were the “exact shopping list” of an anti-Semitic Jew costume.

Continue reading “Macklemore Didn’t Mean to Disguise Himself as a Big-Nosed Jew”

Guess Which New York Venue Lady Gaga Put Rose Petals in her Butt in Honor of…

Lady Gaga RosesThe queen of theatricality and overthought pop music glued roses to her bosom, torso and backside to celebrate the beginning of her streak of seven shows at New York’s historic Roseland Ballroom, which is sadly closing for good in April.

In the past, Lady Gaga has covered herself in bubbles, dead muppets and meat, all looks I observed many a drag queen wearing on Portland mass transit a few years ago after her Monster Ball concert.

At least this rose-covered leotard isn’t too bad on a scale of normal person clothes to separate gravitational pull. Some poor child in a third world country has oxygen thanks to whoever Gaga’s stylist was that day.

 

Most Generic Pop Culture Halloween Costume of the Year Goes to… Paris Hilton!

Paris hilton halloween costume 2013 Miley In skinny showbiz-person news NOT related to Olivia Wilde’s pregnancy, Paris Hilton got all dressed up like Miley at the VMA’s, foam finger and all, strutting her stuff across the abysmal plain known as the Los Santos Los Angeles party scene.

Paris asked her Instagram followers two daunting, life-altering questions: “Like my Miley costume?” and “Twerk of Treat?”

This is Paris’ second costume of 2013, following her even less original Barbie getup from Saturday. (I was absolutely convinced it was Honey Boo Boo for all of 5 seconds.) Maybe she could just go as herself in various stages of her life beginning with her sex tape and ending with The Simple Life, though putting a spear through her head while holding a Carl’s Jr. hamburger seems like her actual best bet in terms of crowd pleasing.

UH OH… Blue-Eyed, Blonde-Haired Julianne Hough Painted Herself Brown

Julianne hough crazy eyesRyan Seacrest’s former beard Julianne Hough is in hot water over a Halloween costume that many would agree is distasteful.

Hough attended a party on Friday all made up like Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black and then apologized after everyone freaked out, because apparently blackface is only okay and/or funny when a good actor like Robert Downey Jr. does it.

“I am a huge fan of the show Orange is the New black, actress Uzo Aduba, and the character she has created,” Hough wrote on Twitter. “It certainly was never my intention to be disrespectful or demeaning to anyone in any way. I realize my costume hurt and offended people and I truly apologize.”  Continue reading “UH OH… Blue-Eyed, Blonde-Haired Julianne Hough Painted Herself Brown”

America’s Sweetheart Sandra Bullock Gets Oh So Bony for Halloween

Sandra Bullock halloween costumeSandra Bullock took her adorable son Louis trick or treating over the weekend. Him in a simple, store-bought cloth skeleton getup and her in this very elaborate winged Dia de los Muertos wedding dress complete with terrifying face paint.

They say there’s a first time for everything, like being scared of Sandra Bullock, which seems reasonable considering she looks like a Mexican version of The Crow.

I always forget which celebrities have Halloween spirit boners until October rolls around and they all pop out with their elaborate bazillion dollar outfits. With the exception of Heidi Klum, the quintessential evil German queen of  the damned.

P.S. I saw that blasted Carrie remake instead of Gravity and am regretting it. I thought I didn’t need to see Pillsbury spacesuit Sandra panicking in slow motion on the big screen, as if I needed to see a preppy daddy’s girl stab a pig. (The mom cuts herself, everyone dies. The end.)

Sexy Ghosts are all the Rage this Halloween

sexy ghost halloween costumeI stumbled upon this photo today on Facebook and couldn’t resist posting because it completely summarizes my feelings on girl Halloween costumes.

Now you’ve seen it all. Sexy Crayons, sexy treasure trolls, and now sexy ghosts. (I’m still waiting on sexy Obama. Just the mask and bikini.)

Never have I ever wanted to retreat to my bedroom with a box of insulin needles and a two and a half bag of candy corn more.

Please, please, please stay classy this October, kill yourself.

Read: The Best/Worst Halloween Costumes of 2012 (thetwistgossip.com)

The Weekend In Celebrity Halloween Costume Creativity [SLIDESHOW]

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There was a flood this past weekend. No, I’m not talking about the tsunami warnings in British Columbia or Hurricane Sandy.

I’m referring to the less imminent threat of celebrities flooding Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and entertainment websites with their Halloween costume party fun times.  Continue reading “The Weekend In Celebrity Halloween Costume Creativity [SLIDESHOW]”

Kanye West Caught A Mermaid

Kim Kardashian and hubby Kanye West hosted the Midori Halloween party in New York on Saturday.

You might all remember that Kim went to that same party as Poison Ivy last year…

Well this year she’s a blonde mermaid and Kanye’s her “captain,” as she specified on Instagram.

You can either go with the mermaid/sailor mythology where the mermaids are sirens who lure ships onto rocks OR the one where the seafarers toss nets over their naked bodies and throw them into cages.

These two seem pretty into roleplaying, and by that I mean constantly pretending to listen to each other.

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Every Halloween Costume Kim Kardashian Ever Wore [PHOTOS]

Wonder Woman (2008), a flapper, and her most famous costume, Aladdin’s Jasmine (both in 2009)

Kim Kardashian recently tweeted a photo of her in a leopard costume with a mesh front and wrote, “Rawwwr!!! Halloween Costume shopping.” She actually wore that exact same thing in 2010 so who knows if she dug it out of her closet or simply forgot.

Sometimes I wonder if having an ass that big is a kind of disability, not only for balance but because it’s possible that the blood flow is concentrated in that area like a boner. If she uses more than two brain cells the glorious thing might deflate.  Continue reading “Every Halloween Costume Kim Kardashian Ever Wore [PHOTOS]”

White Hockey Player Raffi Torres Dresses As Jay-Z

Over the years we’ve seen many a white man covered in “blackface” makeup for various forms of imitation. Unfunny Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, Fred Armisen as Obama or even the reversal black-to-white transformation, made by Marlon and Shawn Wayans in White Chicks.

People still seem to get outraged every time, even when it’s a non-scandalous homage. Like Phoenix Coyotes left wing Raffi Torres, a player known for his spunk and defensive offense, dressing up like Jay-Z for Halloween.

His wife Gianna went as Beyonce, with a baby bump and everythang. People are stark-raving mad, but it isn’t a big deal. The guy is an admitted and devoted fan.

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Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costumes Are Too Elaborate

I never thought I’d say this but, Heidi Klum, why can’t you be more like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian? The model/captive seal keeper hosted her 13th Halloween party on Saturday in Las Vegas at Tao.

She entered the party on a gurney, wheeled in by two “doctors.” The fake doctor model guys lifted up a sheet to reveal Klum in a skintight body suit that was made to look like her skin was completely gone.

Plus, her hair was obscured by the suit, so she looked like a bald man with no teeth OR skin. Wanna know what Paris and Kim went as? Kim dressed like Poison Ivy and Paris went as She-Ra!

Continue reading “Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costumes Are Too Elaborate”

Speaking Of Ryan Reynolds…

The dude doesn’t play any other characters besides shirtless goofs and comic book characters. (I didn’t even include a pic of him in Blade: Trinity cause it’s not costume-y enough)

I just wanted to point out that Ryan has now starred in FOUR superhero type movies (Blade: Trinity, indie dramedy Paper Man, X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Green Lantern)

If he’s not exposing gleaming chest skin and hip bones than he’s parading around in latex or starring in comedies with Betty White or Tara Reid, who are visually the same age.

Robber Dressed As Gumby Attempts Hold-Up

Monday September 5th, around 12:30 a.m, two men entered a convenience store in San Diego, one dressed as Gumby, in a robbery attempt.

The clerk however, didn’t take the Gumby thief seriously and ignored him, thinking it was a prank. This angered the green stick with arms, causing him to threaten the man,

“You don’t think it’s a robbery? Let me show you my gun.”

Besides being dressed as Gumby, the robber had another epic fail moment when he reached to get his gun but couldn’t find it in his bulky costume, managing only to procure 26 cents shortly before dropping it on the floor…

Continue reading “Robber Dressed As Gumby Attempts Hold-Up”

The Amazing Spider-Booty Starring Andrew Garfield

I’ve been looking at stills from the yet-to-be-released Amazing Spider-Man movie starring Andrew Garfield (The Social Network, Never Let Me Go) Martin Sheen, Denis Leary, Sally Field and of course blonde Emma Stone.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the most bootylicious, potentially-gay Spider-Man movie that I have ever seen, I hope Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield have as much chemistry in the movie as Andrew Garfield and wardrobe piece #1, the Spider-Man suit.

Continue reading “The Amazing Spider-Booty Starring Andrew Garfield”

New Superman AND Catwoman Costumes Revealed!

Costumes have recently been revealed for the two biggest upcoming comic book movie releases, Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises (due Summer 2012) and Zach Snyder’s remake of Superman, Man Of Steel, due out in 2013.

The changes to the Superman suit are very subtle or non-existant. The only real difference is the lack of signature curly-q hair string.

The true shocker comes from the new Catwoman outfit, which is too complicated and space-agey for its own good(=bad), if you ask me and anyone else. But there is SOMEONE coming to the outfit’s defense, Anne Hathaway herself, who said,

“What I am happy to say is, if you didn’t like the photo, you only see about a tenth of what that suit can do. And if you did like the photo, you have excellent taste.”

Continue reading “New Superman AND Catwoman Costumes Revealed!”

Cosplay NERDS Lip-syncing to P!nk

Last month, at London’s annual comic-con event at Earls Court Exhibition Centre, a bunch of costume-wearing, comic book-reading, video-game playing hobos got together and lip-synced to Pink’s “Raise Your Glass.”

Watch, Malfoy, The Joker, Black Cat (Spiderman), Wolfenstein Zombies, Jack Sparrow, Baby Doll (Sucker Punch), Batgirl and Spiderman, plus more…

I think Pink would be proud, but this is pretty embarrassing to watch.

Why so serious? I’m not, I’m laughing with my eyes dude, get it right.