Amanda Bynes is Still Crazy and High as F*ck, Apparently

Amanda Bynes band aid faceAmanda Bynes is back at it! NY Daily News and TMZ have a video of Bynes doing a bizarre dance in front of her driver at a snooty clothing store on Wednesday before moving on to another snooty clothing store (Barney’s) to get a five-finger discount on a hat.

I repeat, “bizarre dance in front of her DRIVER,” which means she’s moved on from DUIs to petty theft!

Reports suggest that Amanda’s love for weed is to blame, as she was kicked out of fashion school for laughing out loud for no reason and was also seen “visibly high” and “painting her face with excessive amounts of makeup” at a restaurant. She also talks to trees.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes is Still Crazy and High as F*ck, Apparently”

Miley Calls Former Role Model Sinead O’Connor Crazy

Miley Cyrus tongue iheart radio
After reading an open letter from the woman whose song “Nothing Compares 2 U” inspired “Wrecking Ball,” Miley Cyrus subtly screenshotted tweets Sinead O’Connor wrote about finding a psychiatrist, posted a picture of her ripping the pope in half on SNL, and compared her to Amanda Bynes.

While O’Connor’s letter was intelligent and full of valid points, it doesn’t come off as entirely genuine. Publicizing the content of the message seems hypocritical, and it’s hard not to argue that she’s after the same publicity she repeatedly warns Miley of.  Continue reading “Miley Calls Former Role Model Sinead O’Connor Crazy”

Ashley Benson Does Her Best Amanda Bynes

Ashley Benson Amanda Bynes Amanda Bynes and Ashley Benson have almost nothing in common besides, oh, being blonde, having the same initials and starting out on family-friendly TV shows, but that didn’t stop Ashley (of Pretty Little Liars and Spring Breakers) from imitating Amanda on Instagram.

“Doing my Amanda Bynes look this afternoon,” Benson wrote under a photo of her in the full plastic pirate duck face Bynes so frequently makes on Twitter and Vine.

A bunch of people were like *GASP*, don’t make fun of crazy people! (Amanda is STILL in the psych ward for accidentally lighting her pants on fire in a stranger’s yard).

But I’m like, more power to her? It’s not like she actually called Amanda ugly or anything…

Read: Rihanna on Amanda Bynes: ‘See What Happens When They Cancel Intervention

 

Amanda Bynes Sent to Hospital for Playing With Fire

Amanda bynes fireEvery era has its great mystery. In the late 1800s there was Jack The Ripper, then much later, the Black Dahlia, Amelia Earhart and the Zodiac.

Now there’s Amanda Bynes, who is technically still alive but in worse shape than your average rat-eating, street-pooping hobo.

Last night she literally walked into some bitches’ driveway and started a fire. Seriously, TMZ has pictures of the very minimal damage.

Not so minimal is the damage the poor woman who owns the driveway suffered when she saw Amanda Bynes hunched over a lighter in front of her house making duck face and talking to herself.

Back to what I was saying about mysteries. Why was she lighting a fire? Was she cold? Does one of her personalities know she’s a witch and that flames usually kill them?
jennifer lawrence hair on fire gif
Was she always crazy or did she become crazy after she “retired” from acting? Was the crazy just lingering since forever and if so, what triggered it? What’s the cure?  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Sent to Hospital for Playing With Fire”

Amanda Bynes Thinks She’s a Mermaid, or a Rapper or a Rapper/Mermaid

Amanda Bynes green wig court First off, I’d like to congratulate Amanda Bynes on being consistently crazy for over a year since her very first DUI last spring. Lohan 2.0 is really holding her own.

Second, Mandy wore this awesomely stylish getup to court today. Greenish-blue wig, black sweatpants, sleeveless jersey and shades… It’s almost like the voices in her head don’t know they belong to a suburban white girl.

Pretty sure she wore this crap and dyed one of her old blonde wigs to unimpress the judge. Seeing that she’s, you know, pretending to be insane, according to someone else’s publicist.

The hair is kinda mermaid-y. It’s just that mermaids don’t have tattoos and they don’t actually have crabs, they just befriend them. Voices: tell her she’s a sailor, not a mermaid. The identity crisis is getting old.

Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Thinks She’s a Mermaid, or a Rapper or a Rapper/Mermaid”

BREAKING: Amanda Bynes is Disgusting

Amanda Bynes nakedPhotos featured in In Touch Magazine show Amanda Bynes living in squalor, smoking resin on a mattress with no sheet like a born crackhead. Bynes says In Touch “bought fake altered photos” by the “ugly black man” standing behind her.

“That’s not my bed! Those aren’t my toes! My toes are pedicured!” she whined on Twitter.

Obviously Amanda is f*cking with us. She knows we know those are her nasty, unpedicured fungus toes. She’s playing a game that we should not indulge, but it’s really hard not to. She’s like Jigsaw.

—-> Reminds me of this video.<—-

In Touch’s sources (partygoers) describe the apartment that unquestionably belongs to her as “empty” with spray-painted windows. They also say that Amanda is mentally “all over the place.”  Continue reading “BREAKING: Amanda Bynes is Disgusting”

Manti Te’o Clears The Air, Says ‘Never Ever Would I Be Part of This’

Manti Te'o Notre Dame AlabamaManti Te’o admitted in an audio interview with ESPN Friday that he tailored his stories so people would think that he had met Lennay Kekua, the woman he believed to be his girlfriend, who was actually a fictional character created by Ronaiah Tuiasosopo and two other people.

“You know I even knew that it was crazy that I was with someone that I didn’t meet. And let alone people find out that this girl who died who I was so invested in, I didn’t meet her as well,” Te’o told Jeremy Schaap.  Continue reading “Manti Te’o Clears The Air, Says ‘Never Ever Would I Be Part of This’”

Blue Ivy and Jay-Z Can’t Keep Beyonce Away From The Thong Drawer

Beyonce gq cover 2013Beyonce seems to have found the get-up she’s wearing on the cover of GQ’s February 2013 issue while rummaging through old boxes of Destiny’s Child props. It’s nice to see her back, doing her thing (making everyone look bad).

Mrs. Z, who gave birth to that talking vine from The Ruins exactly a year ago, is representing “The 100 Sexiest Women of the Century” in a leopard print thong, gold chain and cropped bottom-boob exposing vintage football shirt.

I really hope they let her throw out the first pass of the game for Aaron Rodgers or Russell Wilson. Or run the ball back, or kick a field goal in six-inch heels (if you can dance in them, you can kick in them).

Keep your eyes peeled for “hotter” pictures of Beyonce next Tuesday, the day GQ releases the full interview and interior photo spread shot by Terry “Wear My Glasses” Richardson.  Continue reading “Blue Ivy and Jay-Z Can’t Keep Beyonce Away From The Thong Drawer”

Britney Spears Fired Herself From ‘The X Factor’

Britney Spears pink dress x factor 1Today it was announced that Britney Spears removed herself from The X Factor before Simon Cowell canned her and her cans for delivering the wrong kind of crazy.

As much as I love her I don’t think I’ll miss the polite clapping and three or four-word comments like “I really enjoyed it” or “You’re a diva!” (in a positive context).

Come on. This is no surprise. We knew from the get-go that this was a one time thing. Britney was paid $15 million to make faces and walk out and wave with Demi in the beginning of the show for a few months…

She probably wants to come back about as much as Simon wants her to, which is not at all. It’s time for her to work on her music, and sit at home ordering Fox Racing gear for her sons. Continue reading “Britney Spears Fired Herself From ‘The X Factor’”

LeAnn Rimes, Carly Rose Sonenclar and The Hex Factor

Carly Rose Sonenclar LeAnn RimesOn part one of The X Factor finale last night, the remaining three contestants were joined by their sort-of idols.

Tate Stevens and his dimples got Little Big Town, Simon’s group, Fifth Harmony, were paired with readily available Demi Lovato for “Give Your Heart A Break,” and little Carly Rose Sonenclar was gifted the bag of crazy known as LeAnn Rimes.

About a minute into “How Do I Live,” Carly announced “Ladies and gentleman please welcome the amazing LeAnn Rimes,” which shocked me, mostly because I forgot the song wasn’t by Faith Hill.  Continue reading “LeAnn Rimes, Carly Rose Sonenclar and The Hex Factor”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-18-12]

 Anne Hathaway crazyAnne Hathaway had a “fuck you” flip-off war with Daniel Craig at a dinner party. (Huffington Post)

Which Scream 4 actress sits around loving James Franco in Pikachu undies? (Evil Beet)

Instagram users boycotting the company’s anti-privacy terms of service. (Gawker)

Season 7 finale of Dexter was pretty annoying, especially that thing at the end. (Socialite Life)

Ke$ha‘s “Die Young” taken off the radio because of Sandy Hook tragedy. (NME)

Here’s why Matt Damon never denied those gay rumors with Ben Affleck. (ohmyGAHH!)

Tegan and Sara‘s tour diary photos feature guitars, The Killers, toilets and pool. (Vanity Fair)

Amanda Bynes Smokes A Pipe, Talks To Herself

Amanda Bynes has a lot in common with RNC speaker Clint Eastwood, but instead of talking to empty chairs, she talks to herself while she’s on the elliptical in her gym. She also smokes a pipe while eating tacos in a Baja Fresh parking lot.

Even though there are basically photos of it happening, the accusations about her “making comments and then answering back” and “laughing hysterically for no reason” could be completely false, as they were made by random gym rats and neighbors. Let’s just say they are true…

We all, at some point in our lives, carry on “long conversations with inanimate objects.”

I talk to my pets, who are not exactly inanimate, but they certainly don’t reply, and possibly think I’m as crazy as Amanda Bynes going 120 in a residential zone.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Smokes A Pipe, Talks To Herself”

Taking Advice From The Founder Of Crocs: When In Doubt, Blame Taylor Swift

The shoe company Crocs was unnecessarily founded by three people. One of them said “let’s take the backs off” another added “let’s put holes in them!” and the third said “let’s make them ugly.”

It’s true too.

It turns out one of the founders, like his shoes, is hilariously crazy.

Some people are just scary crazy, and worthy of your fear, but George Boedecker seems like a fun guy to hang out with. Last weekend he was discovered by the police passed out in front of his Porsche. So wasted in fact, that the medics plainly called him “drunk as crap.”  Continue reading “Taking Advice From The Founder Of Crocs: When In Doubt, Blame Taylor Swift”

Spears And Lohan Face-Morph Videos

A YouTube user has made two videos chronicling Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan from their childhood years to now.

Seeing someone age before your eyes is never fun (the AgingBooth app scares the scheisse out of me) but it’s especially terrifying with these two.

Britney, from “…Baby One More Time” to her 24-hour friendship with Paris Hilton and two-year marriage to Kevin Federline.

It’s still painful seeing these events all at once, especially the bald incident and Dollar Tree weave.

Lindsay’s is actually worse. “25 Years In 60 Seconds” is enough to put a few extra creases in my forehead. It’s as though Louisiana-born Britney always had that hillbilly gene and propensity to be tan and sausage-y. Continue reading “Spears And Lohan Face-Morph Videos”

I Know You’re Already Aware, But Juggalos Are SCARY

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Check out the scary scary slideshow (above) of random juggalos and juggalettes, and some of the performers at the event….

The annual Gathering of The Juggalos took place on August 11, 2011 in Illinois, and I cannot emphasis enough how terrified I am of these people.

It’s not like I sit in my house shivering, waiting for a bunch of painted-clown face wiggers to bust into my house and kill me. They’re just so weird, and beyond my sense of reality. I could say I don’t know what goes through their fumigated heads, but it’s simple. Beer. Clowns. Music. Beer. Tits. ICP.

This year a wonderfully varied group of characters performed at the festival, such as Lil’ Jon, Ice Cube, the other ice: Vanilla, MC Hammer, Dustin Diamond, Ron Jeremy, Xzibit, Tech N9ne, Flavor Flav, Juvenile, George Clinton and of course the founders of the festival, Insane Clown Posse.

Continue reading “I Know You’re Already Aware, But Juggalos Are SCARY”

Sinead O’Connor Looks Like Harry Potter’s Fat Cousin

Sinead O’Connor, is a respected artist right? Her cover of Prince’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” was the wispy, teary-eyed anthem of 1990 and beyond. It was also a number one on the US Hot 100 Chart, and Connor herself gained notoriety in 1992 by tearing and burning a picture of the pope during a performance of her song “War,” on Saturday Night Live. She was also the hip, sensitive, bald activist/extremist 90’s singer version of Natalie Portman.

So explain this new look to me, which the Irish singer debuted while she was singing backup for former Bob Marley keyboardist Natty Wailer and Celtic folk singer Damien Dempsey at Bray Summerfest 2011.

The festival takes place south of Dublin, Ireland, and Connor took the stage to support Dempsey and Wailer on August 7th, where she showed of her business lady jacket, mullet-bowl haircut, glasses, multiple-chin, giant hip-hop cross, sheer belly-net and black camel-ball pants.

She’s 44, but really really looks like a rebellious little boy chanting scripture from the Torah at his Bar Mitzvah, attempting to piss off his parents with leftover prop jewelry from a Madonna video.

It’s been seven hours and fifteen days
since you took your wand away
I go out every night drinking butterbeer all day
since you took your wand away
since you’ve been gone I hear Moaning Myrtle’s haunts
I can see Snape if I choose
I can eat dinner at Hogsmead restaurants
but nothing can take away this news
cause nothing compares to
nothing compares to you (Hermione)

[Sung by Irish sensation Harry Potter Connor Jr.]

Is That You, Nicole Kidman??

Nicole Kidman went CRAZY Baywatch blonde for her upcoming role in The Paperboy, costarring Zac Efron, John Cusack and Matthew Mcconaughey. I wonder how long Nicole will keep that huge mop of yellow hair? Yikes. Maybe it’s a wig? I’m no expert. Somebody investigate this for me? Very Stepford Wife-y.

Oh here’s a synopsis of The Paperboy, from Publisher’s Weekly, in case you were wondering.

“Narrator Jack James is the son of the Moat County Tribune’s editor and publisher. While Jack’s older brother, Ward, reports for the Miami Times, Jack has settled for a job delivering papers for the Tribune. But when Ward and his partner, evil dandy Yardley Acheman, come to Moat County to investigate the four-year-old murder of the local sheriff, Jack assists them in the inquiry.”

Wait, what? I fell asleep reading that summary.