Video: The Weeknd – “Earned It”

At 4 minutes and 36 seconds, The Weeknd’s version of Fifty Shades of Grey is better than the movie. And instead of being summed up by an entire book with scenes featuring tampons and buttplugs that apparently turned on every woman in the world except me, this music video can be explained with a single gif of Dakota Johnson playing with The Weeknd’s hair tuft.
the weeknd hair dakota johnson
Ellie Goulding has also released a song from the weirdly good Fifty Shades soundtrack AND a bonus Nike campaign video of her running in tights. You’re welcome.

Horrible Movie Adaptation of Horrible Book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Has a Trailer

Remember when Fifty Shades of Grey was all the rage? You couldn’t throw a rock without hitting a woman with secretion-stained underwear daydreaming about Christian Grey blindfolding her and stuffing her with buttplugs in the back of his private jet.

The least-romantic story ever, about a man who is entitled to degrade women he barely knows because he’s rich and handsome, is so backwards it reminds me of an article I was just reading about how doctors used to diagnose horny women with hysteria. (It was also about crank-up dildos that look like a drill and blowdryer in one.)  Continue reading “Horrible Movie Adaptation of Horrible Book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Has a Trailer”

Charlie Hunnam Insists He’s READY for Hardcore ‘Fifty Shades’ Sex Scenes

Charlie Hunnam suitCharlie Hunnam was accosted on Saturday at the Sons of Anarchy premiere by reporters who were completely uninterested in motorcycles. Instead, he was asked about sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey, which he says he is ready for because of an early role on Queer as Folkwhere he played the teenage boyfriend of an older man.

It was incredibly explicit sexual scenes with a man,” Hunnam explained. “I mean I’m 16 and 17 years wiser now. So if I could do it when I was 18 with a guy, I can certainly do it at 33 with a lady.”

He also assures us that he has boiling hot chemistry with Dakota Johnson, who will play Anastasia Steele in the movie adaptation of E.L. James’ salacious book.

“As soon as we got in the room and started reading with Dakota, I knew that I definitely wanted to do it, because there was a tangible chemistry between us,” he said.  Continue reading “Charlie Hunnam Insists He’s READY for Hardcore ‘Fifty Shades’ Sex Scenes”

Jax a.k.a. Charlie Hunnam IS Christian Grey

Charlie Hunnam gif eyebrows Christian GreyForget that Sons of Anarchy and Pacific Rim star Charlie Hunnam is too tall, too blonde and too British to play Christian Grey!

He’s sexy and that’s apparently all that matters when you’re casting 50 Shades.

Hunnam has been confirmed as the male lead in the erotic movie version of the bestselling book by middle-aged pervert E.L. James (I’m just jealous of her giant pile of $), after months of casting rumors mainly involving Ian Somerhalder and Robert Pattinson.

I really don’t wonder how he’ll do as a wealthy control freak abuse victim with a box full of ball gags because Fifty Shades of Grey is literally the stupidest, least tantalizing book I have ever read (still jealous).  Continue reading “Jax a.k.a. Charlie Hunnam IS Christian Grey”