Sassy Men Dancing to Beyonce are the Cure to Your Bad Day

Watch and learn, ladies, these three fabulous men dancing at the speed of freshly-fed Hummingbirds to Beyonce’s greatest hits in high heels without breaking a sweat are the hottest thing since croissant-crust Hot Pockets.

You can thank French Britain’s Got Talent finalist Yanis Marshall (in the red and black shorts) for the choreography and equally animated back-up dancers, Arnaud and Mehdi, for the support. Beyonce’s legal team is seeking $2 million in stolen thunder.
Yanis Marshall beyonce
Read: Interview w/ “High Heel Dancer” Yanis Marshall; Paris Choreographer Extraordinaire

Video: Blood Orange – “You’re Not Good Enough”

Blood Orange, moniker of Dev Hynes – friend of Solange and Theophilus London – has a new video full of a style of dancing that I can only think to call candid.

He’s like Michael Jackson on downers, and even fresher than Hugh Jackman, T.I. and LL Cool J’s surprisingly fresh rendition of “The Music Man” at the Tonys.  Continue reading “Video: Blood Orange – “You’re Not Good Enough””

Justin Timberlake Dances With Michael Jackson

There’s a new Michael Jackson video (yes, “new”) for reasons unknown besides that people just aren’t done beating his sequined corpse like a piñata until dollar bills fall out…

“Love Never Felt So Good” for Justin Timberlake, who snaps his fingers while younger folks dance up a storm in front of old footage of Michael.
 
The next song from Jackson’s posthumous album Xscape will feature Tupac and John Denver.

What’s the most interesting about Justin Timberlake these days anyway? That he shares a barber with Brad Pitt or that you could pour syrup in his brow crease without any falling out? 
Read: Michael Jackson Hologram Rocks Billboard Music Awards: Go Behind the Scenes

Wonderful Actor Leonardo DiCaprio is a HORRIBLE Dancer

There are a few locations and events where you are guaranteed to see a celebrity, and one of them is Coachella…

This is probably because so many of them were probably conceived at music festivals, it’s like salmon coming home to spawn. People like Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Hudgens swimming towards massive piles of MDMA to the tune of Zedd’s “Clarity.”

This year, famous folk with freshly bleached buttholes wore properly Bohemian getups to the desert to see the likes of Outkast, Skrillex and Lorde. A wise woman with a camera caught none other than Leonardo DiCaprio dancing to his personal ear poison of choice, MGMT, on Saturday and he may just be worse at dancing than John Travolta is at pronouncing names.

George Bernard Shaw once said, “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” So that explains why Gisele left. And Bar Rafaeli. And Anne V. And that other lady…

Vin Diesel IS NOT the Dancing Male Stripper of Your Dreams


Vin Diesel may look like he could pick you up and throw you against not just the wall but the ceiling and possibly Earth’s atmosphere and beyond, but his “moves” on the dance floor leave something to be desired.

Click to watch VD in soldier garb doing sex eyes for the camera, sway awkwardly and mouth the words to Katy Perry and Beyonce songs he’s not super familiar. Continue reading “Vin Diesel IS NOT the Dancing Male Stripper of Your Dreams”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-9-14]

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Goodness Gracious great balls of fire, Ellie Goulding has a new music video. (Yahoo!)

Madonna‘s vault of controversial ideas is dried up, passes torch to drunk son. (Jezebel)

Selena Gomez didn’t have make-up sex with Justin Bieber in a trailer. (E! Online)

Demi Moore takes cougaring to new levels, beds 27-year-old drummer. (Daily News)

Oregon couple leaves waitress questionable envelope full of meth as tip. (Gawker)

Someone stole Lindsay Lohan’s laptop full o’ nudes! Or she “misplaced” it. (TMZ)

Fresh Prince writes touching tribute to Uncle Phil. R.I.P. James Avery. (Celebuzz)

La Toya Jackson Hears Michael’s Ghost Cheerily Tap Dancing Throughout Her Home

La Toya Jackson looks like ETIf Janet Jackson and Michael Jackson had an incestual child it would look and act like La Toya Jackson. Or E.T. in drag.

The shameless Jackson famous for having the childish laugh of the devil, baring her breasts for Playboy and starring in the reality show Life With La Toya has a new revelation.

She believes, at least in the withering tapestry she calls a mind, that the crotch-grabbing ghost of Michael Jackson tap dances in her house, the way he used to when he was alive, apparently.

La Toya said that bodyguards first informed her of the noises, telling Good Day New York that she was intrigued because her brother “used to do that every Sunday for two hours.”  Continue reading “La Toya Jackson Hears Michael’s Ghost Cheerily Tap Dancing Throughout Her Home”

Emma Stone to Rock a Bowler Hat in ‘Cabaret’?

Emma Stone Vogue 2012 hatEntertainment Wise is reporting that Emma Stone might make her Broadway debut as Sally Bowles in the next production of Cabaret alongside veteran Alan Cumming, a role previously thought to have been offered to Anne Hathaway.

Stone does have a little musical theatre background and has been known to bust a move (mostly in a comedic context), but I have no idea if she’ll make a good Sally Bowles or not.

It’s very hard to imagine her doing a bad job at anything. At the very least, her performance would be charming.

I’ve always been a bitterbush about not being able to go to Broadway plays, but I’d rather live in Susan Boyle’s armpit than a city as big as New York. So, there’s that.

Continue reading “Emma Stone to Rock a Bowler Hat in ‘Cabaret’?”

Forget That She’s A Zumba Madam, Alexis Wright Sucks At Dancing

Hold the phone. The madam who sold her Zumba class attendees’ bodies to men behind and in her studio is not very good at dancing. After several NSFW videos of Alexis Wright were posted on Gawker, one commenter wrote:

“Jesus this woman is a mess. She’s a really bad dancer. I definitely wouldn’t take Zumba from her. Also, hearing people dirty talk to themselves is so awkward. “Oh, fuck me in the ass.” Lady, I know you’re alone. Cut out the shenanigans and just masturbate. Lastly, you shouldn’t ever put food in your vagina, especially a popsicle. Its disgusting and you’ll get an infection. I can tell those moans aren’t from pleasure, they’re grimaces because she put a fucking frozen juice stick inside of herself.”  Continue reading “Forget That She’s A Zumba Madam, Alexis Wright Sucks At Dancing”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-15-12]

Pregnant Shakira is dancing up a storm in Azerbaijan. (ohmyGAHH!)

Dane Cook‘s cancelled, unaired show on NBC was pins-in-eyeballs bad. (Gawker)

Cleveland Browns fan dunked his head in piss for $450 dollars. (Deadspin)

Lindsay Lohan will sit down with Baba Wawa. (TMZ)

A “disgusting” casting director threw young Susan Sarandon on a desk. (Radar)

Chris Brown is recording Rihanna‘s sex noises? (ONTD!)

Employee at Bumblebee tuna factory boiled to death in steamer machine. (KTLA)

Britney Spears Dances With K-Pop Star Psy

Britney Spears visited The Ellen DeGeneres Show  to promote her judging gig on X Factor (debuts tonight on Fox) and had a surprise run-in with Psy, South Korean singer of the viral hit “Gangnam Style.”

Ellen got the two together after Spears wrote that she was “LOVING” the video and wanted to learn the choreography. Before you watch the clip, I urge you to watch Psy’s video.

Continue reading “Britney Spears Dances With K-Pop Star Psy”

Dancing Girl Scares Laundromat Users

Angela Trimbur may be lacking some key components of the brain that control embarrassment levels, but she does have good taste in music. A Lykke Li classic? You go, crazy girl.

I’ve never had an urge to draw attention to myself in public, but I absolutely love watching others do so. Trimbur chose “I’m Good, I’m Gone” after she suffered a “bum of a breakup,” as she wrote on the video description.

The dance is pretty snazzy (she could probably make it in an OK Go vid) but it’s the people at this Echo Park laundromat that really make me laugh. I love how the natural human instinct is just to ignore things like this, stare briefly then look away and go about your business.

Continue reading “Dancing Girl Scares Laundromat Users”

Michael Kenneth Williams Teaches Candace Bailey To Dance

Thursday on Attack Of The Show, Michael Kenneth Williams formerly “Omar” on The Wire came on the show to talk about his character on the second season of Boardwalk Empire and also to teach host Candace Bailey his dance moves.

I know it doesn’t SOUND like a big deal, but it was actually extremely cute watching the two busting out their moves.

Candace with her white girl monkey arms (I suffer from the same affliction) and Williams, 44 years-old and as youthful as ever.

Williams described himself as a former “club kid” of New York city, and said he was lucky enough to tour as a dancer for Crystal Waters, Technotronic and CeCe Peniston. (Fast-forward to the 4:44 mark, for the adorable smile-worthy dancing bit)

Continue reading “Michael Kenneth Williams Teaches Candace Bailey To Dance”

New Cee Lo,”Cry Baby,” Featuring Urkel

“Shhhhh, I’m Cee Lo Green.” Says Jaleel White in Cee Lo’s new video, released today.

Yes that’s actor behind Steve Urkel of Family Matters, the ultimate one-dimensional glasses/suspenders wearing nerd. Mouthing the words to Cee Lo’s new single “Cry Baby.” And he dances too, I guess.

I’m not sure what Cee Lo has against singing his own songs in his videos, as he had this same technique for half the “Fuck You” video, but it’s a catchy song. Not sure I love the video, let it play in the background. Don’t look at it.

Fatty boom boom.