Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-29-13]

David Arquette Adam LambertHappy birthday Adam Lambert! Here’s shirtless David Arquette, in your lap. (ohmyGAHH!)

Courtney Stodden is now a sex-crazed BRUNETTE with an old husband. (Evil Beet)

Ex-49er Kwame Harris arrested for pulling his ex-boyfriend‘s pants down. (Bossip)

Hulk Hogan tweets photo of his daughter captioned “Brooke’s legs.” (TMZ)

Netherlands King’s wife is a dead ringer for Britney Spears, circa X Factor. (Gawker)

Amy Poehler penning humorous and honest “life lessons” book for 2014. (Celebuzz)

Oprah asks Cissy Houston about Whitney’s possible lesbian tendencies (She Knows)

Dancing With The “Stars” 2011 Cast

Today the supposed cast of ABC’s Dancing With The Stars was leaked to the public. I don’t watch the show, because the dancing isn’t quite bad enough (or good enough) to hold my attention.

I’d rather just see a bunch of youths doing backflips on America’s Best Dance Crew, because if I watch Dancing With The Stars I will be reminded of age, and nationwide embarrassment.

Light drumroll… the season 13 cast consists of:

Nancy Grace (Ohh I forgot to put HER on my witches slideshow!)
Ricki Lake (Y
ou was hot when? Ricki Lake. ((Nicki Minaj lyrics)
Ron Artest
(Nickname “Metta World Peace”)
Chaz Bono
(Cher’s son, neck-beard included)
David Arquette
(Screaming like Rocky, “Courtneyyy!!” Instead of “Adriann!”)
Kristin Cavalleri
(Her handbag is HUGE)
Rob Kardashian
(Wishes he wasn’t a Kardashian so he could fuck his sisters)
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