David Beckham Predictably ‘Loses’ His Robe and Shirt For H&M

David Beckham shirtless H&M 2013Expert at dealing with artificial life forms Guy Ritchie directed David Beckham in a new H&M Bodywear ad that has him (and a big-bootied stunt double) running, jumping and swimming in a hapless effort to get his bathrobe back.

This involves flying past landscapers, Dobermans, soccer-playing children (to remind you that he’s not just a greased-up model for hire) and a tour bus full of horny ladies with camera phones.

I also learned that he gets an added jolt of speed by picking his butt. Congratulations Bot Spice, you’re a lucky lady.  Continue reading “David Beckham Predictably ‘Loses’ His Robe and Shirt For H&M”

Sign My Fake Petition To Send David Beckham to China

David Beckham China jerseyThe Mirror is reporting a story about David Beckham throwing his cleats, soccer balls and four kids into a bag and moving overseas to play for a Chinese Super League team.

Sadly, there is a 99% chance that this story is false (a line on a map from London to Shanghai is not exactly solid evidence).

“It was sheer rumour,” an insider told the South China Morning Post. “Shenhua has no financial strength to sign another superstar.”

I wanted David to go play with former Chelsea strikers Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba in China. The further him and his freaky fembot wife with the “sing and wave” button are from here, the better.

Continue reading “Sign My Fake Petition To Send David Beckham to China”

Your Tattoo Doesn’t Make Me Go “Awwww,” David Beckham

I’ve always had mixed feelings about tattoos. Sometimes they’re great, and while  I support everyone’s right to express themselves via skin canvas, CERTAIN tattoos are just, bleck.

Snooki’s giant crown tat for instance. Oh, and I am constantly surprised by the amount of women (Megan Fox, Angelina, Gaga) with scrolling text tattoos that run down their arms or sides. (Too long and boring to bother reading)…

Continue reading “Your Tattoo Doesn’t Make Me Go “Awwww,” David Beckham”