Wanda Sykes and I Miss the Old Beyonce


Wanda Sykes was on Watch What Happens a few Tuesdays ago to air her grievances about the “new” Beyonce. You know, the one who left her man-hating Destiny’s Child sisters in the dust in favor of solo man-worship and a baby suspiciously named after an invasive weed.

My favorite comedian is specifically disturbed by the thought of Jay-Z’s “ashy penis,” but I just miss Kelly and Michelle’s matching halter tops and synchronized hand waving.

Destiny’s Child had a formula and it worked every time… Dirty Beyonce is unpredictable.

Miley Cyrus Put a Fan’s Dirty Thong in Her Mouth

Miley Cyrus used thongEveryone’s talking about Miley Cyrus‘ Bangerz tour, where she simulates masturbation and blowies to a man in a Bill Clinton mask while wearing an assortment of flapjack-exposing leotards.

According to HuffPo, after a fan threw their thong on the stage, Miley picked it up and put it in her mouth.

Parents of young fans who have been attending these concerts seem oddly surprised that these types of antics are occurring. Parents who are apparently too busy micromanaging kiddie lemonade stands and soccer meets to know that Miley Cyrus hasn’t been a good role model since, well, ever, with that IQ, but especially not since she went full retard with a bowl haircut and knocked a bunch of twerking dwarves over with wrecking balls.  Continue reading “Miley Cyrus Put a Fan’s Dirty Thong in Her Mouth”

Beyonce Wants Jay-Z to ‘Turn Her Cherry Out’ and ‘Lick Her Skittles’ in New Song

Beyonce partition video still underwearBeyonce randomly released a new self-titled album on Thursday on iTunes without promoting it or mentioning the release date prior.

There are also 17, count ’em, SEVENTEEN new music videos and everyone’s talking about how only she and a handful of other mega famous artists could pull off such ballsy move, but what they’re failing to mention is that the CD is super raunchy.

In the absolutely filthy “Blow,” Bey sings “Can you lick my Skittles, that’s the sweetest in the middle, pink that’s the flavor,” “I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can turn that cherry out” and “give me that daddy long stroke.” Continue reading “Beyonce Wants Jay-Z to ‘Turn Her Cherry Out’ and ‘Lick Her Skittles’ in New Song”

Respect Ke$ha’s Urine and She’ll Maybe, Possibly Not Bite You

Kesha gold toothKe$ha is known for being wonderfully dirty. Only slightly less wonderful is the fact that she talks about being dirty ALL THE TIME. From necklaces made of teeth, to beard fingering and touching ghosts in the dark, she’s a very imaginative lady.

On the MTV reality show My Crazy Beautiful Life, the result of her brother and his “weird friend” following her around with a camera, we get to see her drinking pee. Her own pee. That makes it better, right?

“I was told drinking my own pee was good, I was trying to be healthy,” Ke$ha told BBC Radio 1. “Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, ‘That is mine!’ So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross, so I don’t do it anymore.”

Continue reading “Respect Ke$ha’s Urine and She’ll Maybe, Possibly Not Bite You”

Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Shower (Anyone Surprised?)

[Above video of Taylor and The Pretty Reckless at Lollapalooza 2011, Aug 7, proving her and her fans are Aguilera Dirrty]

I happen to like Taylor Momsen, I’ve always wanted a pet raccoon, and I’m still vying for her to come and live in a cage in my house. Oregon law and the Department of Agriculture states that I need a special permit to keep Taylor Momsen in my apartment, so I’m still working on that.

Momsen (formerly of Gossip Girl) is spending time to focus on her band The Pretty Reckless.

In an interview with Elle Magazine Momsen, 18, said,

“A lot of the time you don’t have time to shower.”

Continue reading “Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Shower (Anyone Surprised?)”