Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera Finally Met

Lady Gaga The Voice ChristinaOn yesterday’s finale of The Voice (spoiler: the Jamaican lady won!), Christina Aguilera joined Lady Gaga onstage for a special performance of “Do What U Want.”

Christina sexy chola danced across the stage while Gaga convulsed like an electrocuted cockroach.

It was as if Dracula broke into Liberace’s closet, put on a wig and seduced Bride of Frankenstein.

Towards the end, Dracula (Gaga) and BOF (Christina) hold hands and prance towards a chaise lounge where they share an intimate date involving rose petals, champagne and the half-assed version of motorboating a chest-to-face hug.  Continue reading “Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera Finally Met”

R. Kelly Leaves Lasting Piss Stain on ARTPOP

Lady Gaga ass R. Kelly Speaking of asses, Lady Gaga duets with R. Kelly on her hotly anticipated third album, ARTPOP, in a song called “Do What U Want.”

If you’re asking “why?,” keep in mind that Gaga is like all perfectionist pop stars in that she doesn’t like being overshadowed by others. This is why she’s never toured with anyone particularly special, and, with the exception of Beyonce, collaborates with irrelevant weirdos like R. Kelly, New Kids on the Block and Colby O’Donis (“Just Dance”).

With lyrics about roughing up haters and not being sorry, the song is truly horrible.

My favorite part is the chorus, which goes something like “You can’t have my heart and you won’t use my mind, but do what you want with my body,” because it’s basically an open invitation for R. Kelly to open his fly and pee all over her sad white chest.