HBO ‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: Season 5, Episode 1

Young-Cersei-Lannister

‘Game of Thrones‘ is officially underway, and as usual, showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss managed to make a lot happen in the latest 50 minute-long episode of the hit HBO series.

***Warning: spoilers ahead***

The season five premiere, titled “The Wars to Come,” opens with a glimpse of a young Cersei Lannister fearlessly convincing a friend to approach a witch’s hut with her. While Cersei doesn’t suffer the fate of fellow classic fantasy-characters Hansel and Gretel, it wouldn’t be a George R. R. Martin production without a little bloodshed and heartache.

“You’ll never wed the prince, you’ll wed the king,” the messy-haired sorceress tells Cersei after commanding her to prick her finger. “You’ll be queen, for a time,” she ominously continues. “In comes another, younger, more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear. The king will have twenty children, and you will have three. Gold will be their crowns, gold their shrouds.”

In one short scene, Cersei learns much of what we know about her adult life. From Margaery Tyrell‘s marriage to Tommen, to Robert Baratheon‘s bastard sons and her incestual relationship with Jaime Lannister.  Continue reading “HBO ‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: Season 5, Episode 1”

241 Babies Named ‘Khaleesi’ Last Year

dragon baby mobileGame of Thrones is SO popular, you can’t even look through a window without seeing your conservative neighbors licking cherry syrup off each other in Khal Drogo and Daenerys outfits.

It’s the most pirated show of all time, it’s getting its own video game, Stark daughters Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner are reigning queens of social media, and people are naming their damn children after characters on the show.

According to the Social Security Administration, 1135 parents in America named their newborns “Arya” in 2013 and 241 went with “Khaleesi,” after the mother of dragons.

Man, pretty much any baby with that name is going to be a huge disappointment. Oh, Khaleesi said her first words today? Khaleesi used the big girl potty for the first time?? Took her first step? CALL ME WHEN SHE’S TAKING THOSE STEPS INTO A FIRE WITH THREE PETRIFIED DRAGON EGGS!!  Continue reading “241 Babies Named ‘Khaleesi’ Last Year”

‘The Sims’ Capitalize on the GoT Dragon Craze

The Sims game of thrones
Because Game of Thrones is on tonight, here’s a look at the new Sims 3 Dragon Valley expansion.

Anyone with eyes and ears can see that EA is cashing in on the GoT lovefest. Maybe it was the blonde short-haireed Khaleesi in the trailer, or the long-haired one in the promotional photo.

Maybe it was the red and green BABY DRAGONS that singe your hair and paint you soot black.

(That actually looks way more like Holly Madison at a renaissance faire.)  Continue reading “‘The Sims’ Capitalize on the GoT Dragon Craze”

Trailer: Game of Thrones Season 3

The Game of Thrones season 3 trailer delivers on the promise of flying dragons!

Relying heavily on the ambiance of the Florence-y MS MR track “Bones,” the one minute of footage shows one of Daenerys’ babies all grown up, plus the army and fleet of ships she has assembled in an effort to claim the Iron Throne from that other blonde, Joffrey.  Continue reading “Trailer: Game of Thrones Season 3”