Underwear Model Jamie ‘Golden Torso’ Dornan Cast as Christian Grey

Jamie Dornan steamy photo gallery Hey depraved ladies and spicy gay gents, we have a new Christian Grey and he’s handsome and fit and has better hair than Charlie Hunnam!

If you haven’t seen Jamie Dornan‘s work as a steamy Calvin Klein Adonis as the Huntsman on Once Upon a Time or a pervy serial murderer in The Fall co-starring Gillian Anderson, take a deep breath and gaze into the physical prowess that may or may not make you say “Matt Bomer who?”

In 2006, Dornan was nicknamed “The Golden Torso” by the New York Times after he landed a small part in Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette.

Like Henry Cavill and so many sexy time sex bomb dudes, Dornan thrusts his crotch in our direction mumbling the words “I don’t see myself as particularly good-looking” with a completely straight face.

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Charlie Hunnam Insists He’s READY for Hardcore ‘Fifty Shades’ Sex Scenes

Charlie Hunnam suitCharlie Hunnam was accosted on Saturday at the Sons of Anarchy premiere by reporters who were completely uninterested in motorcycles. Instead, he was asked about sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey, which he says he is ready for because of an early role on Queer as Folkwhere he played the teenage boyfriend of an older man.

It was incredibly explicit sexual scenes with a man,” Hunnam explained. “I mean I’m 16 and 17 years wiser now. So if I could do it when I was 18 with a guy, I can certainly do it at 33 with a lady.”

He also assures us that he has boiling hot chemistry with Dakota Johnson, who will play Anastasia Steele in the movie adaptation of E.L. James’ salacious book.

“As soon as we got in the room and started reading with Dakota, I knew that I definitely wanted to do it, because there was a tangible chemistry between us,” he said.  Continue reading “Charlie Hunnam Insists He’s READY for Hardcore ‘Fifty Shades’ Sex Scenes”

Barbara Walters Names Hillary Clinton, One Direction ‘Most Fascinating People”

Barbara Walters’ list of the Most Fascinating People of 2012 is out and two of the choices are baffling. Out of Ben Affleck, Hillary Clinton, One Direction, Chris Christie, Gabby Douglas, E.L. James and Seth MacFarlane, who do you think I’m talking about?

If you have to ask, we’re not on speaking terms. E.L. James and One Direction of course, though I have to say, Barbara Walters or whoever compiles this crap is not to blame.

Rock authority Rolling Stone was never to blame for suddenly putting the Backstreet Boys on the cover, it was simply what was popular at the time and came with a sort of unspoken apology.  Continue reading “Barbara Walters Names Hillary Clinton, One Direction ‘Most Fascinating People””

‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Excerpts (NSFW)

I don’t condone book burning, unless it’s the Fifty Shades Of Grey series. 

If I had Tyler Shields’ photography skills and a camera worth more than $150 dollars I would buy several copies just so I could take photos of myself ceremoniously tossing them into a massive bonfire.

I’m not supportive of E.L. James and her “talent” for writing erotic novels. Novels about the two worst examples of each gender – people who I would personally shoot on sight if they weren’t fictional.

Christian Grey, who was abused as a child and now does nothing but sexualize a woman (Anastasia Steele) feels oppressed by the fact that she’s allowed to vote and work someplace other than a brothel.  Continue reading “‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Excerpts (NSFW)”

Funny Video: 50 Shades Of Grey Karaoke

I’m glad the worst book of all time, E.L. James’ erotic BDSM novel Fifty Shades Of Grey actually had some positive effect, but only in terms of humor.

What would I do without Gilbert Gottfried reading excerpts or Jimmy Fallon’s “50 Shades Of Grey Karaoke” featuring “Hot Fudge Brownie Sex,” “I Found Some Baby Oil,” and “Whores Drawers.”

‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Excerpts (NSFW)

Fact: E.L. James (penname of Erika Leonard) once used the name Snowqueens Icedragon. Her bestselling typo-ridden erotica novels, the Fifty Shades Of Grey trilogy, was originally written as Twilight fanfiction and is huge right now.

The books are number one two and three on the New York Times Bestseller in four categories and movie rights have already been sold to Focus Features and Universal Studios.

James has also been listed as one Time’s 100 Most Influential People, all for a book centering around a virginal recent college graduate (Anastasia) who falls in love with BDSM billionaire Christian Grey.

He presents his new lover, Anatasia, with a special S&M contract with many dominance-related stipulations.

People who hate whatever happens to be the “big thing” in current literature, (be it Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code, Twilight or The Hunger Games) might have more beef with this than anything in the past.

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