Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-8-13]

These photos of NFL teams playing in the snow are absolutely INSANE. (Yahoo!)

Ellen and Portia jump on Kim and Kanye’s “Bound” train. (E! Online)

The goalie from The Mighty Ducks likes to pee on people. (TMZ)

Selena Gomez acts her age, rage quits Jingle Ball concert. (Daily Mail)

People who make fun of Carrie Underwood are mean satanists. (Evil Beet)

Susan Boyle diagnosed with Asperger’s / and finally, it all makes sense. (Jezebel)

One-armed 127 Hours dude arrested for domestic violence in Colorado. (Gawker)

Michael Vick Still Believes he’s the Sole Proprietor of the Eagles

Michael Vick eagles 2013The Chris Brown of football (I would say Kanye West if Kanye had overseen the eletrocution of Kylie and Kendall Jenner) got on Twitter and pressed enter without thinking, which is no surprise considering his ball-throwing accuracy and failure to form words without deserving an armbar from Ronda Rousey’s mom.  (Or any mom.)

Vick’s tweet in question read “we will redeem ourself,” in regards to the Eagles last two losses to the Chargers and Chiefs and their upcoming game against Denver which I at first thought was a mistake, but I now realize is just his way of saying that he IS the Eagles.  Continue reading “Michael Vick Still Believes he’s the Sole Proprietor of the Eagles”

Damn It, I Was Hoping Michael Vick’s Hand Was Broken

During a game against the New York Giants in Philadelphia, it was reported that Michael Vick broke his hand after what he claims was a late hit by Chris Canty.

The team physician for The Eagles determined the injury on Sunday during the game, but it was later ruled to be a severely bruised bone with problematic swelling.

As much as I love the Eagles I was really rooting for his hand to be broken, since I HATE him. Besides being a sadistic dog-killer, he complains too much…

Continue reading “Damn It, I Was Hoping Michael Vick’s Hand Was Broken”

Michael Vick’s New Contract, $100 Million For Six Years

ESPN is reporting that the Philadelphia Eagles have signed Michael Vick to a six-year deal worth $100 million, and around $40 million guaranteed, regardless of retirement or injuries.

Eagles coach Andy Reid said in a statement today regarding the contract,

“I’m very happy we were able to reach an agreement with Michael on this long-term contract…It’s a product of all the hard work Michael has done to better himself over the last couple of years, both on and off the field. I’m very proud that he has been able to achieve success again in this league, but he’ll be the first one to tell you that there is a lot of work yet to be done by him and this team as a whole.”

he then added,

“There’s no doubt in my mind that he will continue on that path.”
Continue reading “Michael Vick’s New Contract, $100 Million For Six Years”

Michael Vick Wants A Dog, Says “What Have I Done To Anybody?”

Michael Vick recently told GQ Magazine in an interview that people don’t understand dog fighting, that he’d love to have another dog and that only reporters are upset with him. (In so many words)

Here are some quotes from Michael Vick, (What a charming guy)

“Yeah, you got the family dog and the white picket fence, and you just think that’s all there is. Some of us had to grow up in poverty-stricken urban neighborhoods, and we just had to adapt to our environment.”

On dog fighting:

“I mean, I was just one of the ones who got exposed, and because of the position I was in, where I was in my life, it went mainstream. A lot of people got out of it after my situation, not because I went to prison but because it was sad for them to see me go through something that was so pointless, that could have been avoided.”

(When he says “so pointless” it sounds like he cares as much about his actions as he does some pre-season exhibition game with The Eagles)

On criticisms from the public/media:

“For a while, it was all ‘Scold Mike Vick, scold Mike Vick, just talk bad about him, like he’s not a person’…It’s almost as if everyone wanted to hate me. But what have I done to anybody? It was something that happened, and it was people trying to make some money.”

Continue reading “Michael Vick Wants A Dog, Says “What Have I Done To Anybody?””