Nick Cannon is Mariah Carey’s Easter Bitch

Mariah Carey Nick Cannon Easter

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey‘s most embarrassing moment by far came to us on Easter Sunday via Mariah’s Instagram and I keep wondering if she tricked him into it, or if he volunteered.

I can see her saying “Honey, let me lay on top of you with a glass of champagne” without mentioning that she’d be wearing sexy bunny ears while he went full White Rabbit in a children’s production of Alice in Wonderland.

Nick is Mariah’s bitch all year round, but we only see proof on holidays. (He’ll be wearing a diaper and holding a silver rattle by Mother’s Day.)

Your Easter Prayers Have Not Been Answered: Rihanna and Chris Brown Are Still Together

Chris Brown Rihanna instagram togetherMy day was made and unmade in a matter of hours. Upon waking, I heard a wonderful rumor from the radio station Power 106, who reportedly Tweeted that Chris Brown and Rihanna had broken up.

I was already making plans to paint his face on a dozen eggs, which I would then set on the sidewalk and crush with my feet and possibly a sledgehammer. By breakfast, I unrealized this dream when I read that Chris had favorited a Tweet from a woman who said the comments he made to Big Boy on air were as old as the dirt on Jesus’s abs.

“@chrisbrown and @rihanna are still together… that video was from like forever long ago.. their still getting married. sadly,” Lissette Ortiz wrote.  Continue reading “Your Easter Prayers Have Not Been Answered: Rihanna and Chris Brown Are Still Together”

Happy Easter, But Please Don’t Adopt A Bunny

I don’t often use my website as an outlet for anything that isn’t skin-deep but I have to urge all the parents out there not to acquire rabbits, chicks or ducklings this Easter for your kids.

Every year thousands of bunnies are picked up by semi-loving but witless parents who are stupid enough to think that taking care of a live animal won’t be a bit of work.

Most abandon them, which either leads to mass overcrowding at pet adoption centers, euthanization, or domesticated rabbits in the wild.

People actually have no idea how sensitive and high-maintenance these creatures really are. Their digestive systems are weak and their diet consists mainly of hay and NOT carrots, as many believe. Continue reading “Happy Easter, But Please Don’t Adopt A Bunny”

Amanda Bynes Has An Easter-Themed Mugshot

This morning (3:00 a.m. exactly) was eventful for Amanda Bynes. In an unfortunate turn of events, the What I Like About You star sideswiped a police car, was pulled over and arrested for failing a sobriety test.

As you can see, her pink-haired mugshot arrives just in time for resurrection-of-Jesus-day.

Speaking of that, I was playing Draw Something last week with some random boy and when the word “easter” came up he draw three graves complete with morbid crosses and the words “He is risen” instead of a nice bunny.

Come on kid, Easter is like Halloween but without all the skeletons. It’s about chocolate and boiled eggs, not Jesus. And if the right letters had been there I would have guessed “dracula” for that drawing. WTH.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Has An Easter-Themed Mugshot”