Shakira Gazed Deep Into a Soccer Ball and Found God

shakira elle magazine cover 2013Shakira is more than just the only refreshing thing on The Voice season 4 (besides Michelle Chamuel) and the only bangable pregnant woman, she’s a recording artist with a buttload of international fans who are impatiently waiting on her next album.

“I have no idea of where I want to go musically, but I’m fine that way,” Shaki said in an interview with Elle. ” I don’t need to remain faithful to any concept, you know.”

So her new sound could be anything from Hurdy Gurdy Screamo to Argentinian Goat Folk, but I’d like to see her lean on the rock she’s only previously dabbled in. (“Poem to a Horse” part II please.)

Also in the Elle piece, Shakira mentions how beefy ball keeper Gerard Piqué restored her faith in everything…  Continue reading “Shakira Gazed Deep Into a Soccer Ball and Found God”

Rihanna Poses For Elle, May 2012 [Photos]

Rihanna is featured in the latest issue of Elle Magazine in a Cuba-inspired shoot rocking her best hair ever (edgy, layered blond with black roots) and talking a little about the man she refuses to quit.

She says that the public knowing her business during the Chris Brown incident of 2009 was humbling, hinting that she’s going to stay in contact no matter what:

“I was like, well, fuck. They know more about me than I want them to know. It’s embarrassing. But that was my opening. That was my liberation, my moment of bring it…Now you know that, so you can say what you want about it. I don’t have anything to hide.”

“The bottom line is that everyone thinks differently. It’s very hard for me to accept, but I get it. People end up wasting their time on the blogs or whatever, ranting away, and that’s all right. Because tomorrow I’m still going to be the same person.”  Continue reading “Rihanna Poses For Elle, May 2012 [Photos]”

I Still Don’t Like Pregnant Nudists, But Nice Try, Jessica

Look man, I’m glad to be alive and I love my mom but if there were people interested in her posing nude during the third semester of pregnancy and she actually agreed to do it, we might not have been on speaking terms from the key parental embarrassment years of ages eight to seventeen.

Jessica Simpson apparently has no woes about such things as she has posed for Elle, following in the chubby fetus-bursting footsteps of Cindy Crawford, Britney Spears, Demi Moore and Claudia Schiffer.

I’m adopted anyway, so I don’t even understand why people keep populating the earth. There are plenty of aggressive Swedish orphans out there waiting for owners. Why not scoop one of those up? Or maybe just mosey on down to the no-kill animal shelter and pick up a Pug, it’ll poop just as much. I promise.

Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Shower (Anyone Surprised?)

[Above video of Taylor and The Pretty Reckless at Lollapalooza 2011, Aug 7, proving her and her fans are Aguilera Dirrty]

I happen to like Taylor Momsen, I’ve always wanted a pet raccoon, and I’m still vying for her to come and live in a cage in my house. Oregon law and the Department of Agriculture states that I need a special permit to keep Taylor Momsen in my apartment, so I’m still working on that.

Momsen (formerly of Gossip Girl) is spending time to focus on her band The Pretty Reckless.

In an interview with Elle Magazine Momsen, 18, said,

“A lot of the time you don’t have time to shower.”

Continue reading “Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Shower (Anyone Surprised?)”