Baby Dracula Has Fully Drained Denise Richards

Denise Richards spends some quality family time with her daughters in Bel Air! Denise Richards took her three children out for some ice cream this weekend. Or two of them ate ice cream while the youngest, Eloise, feasted on what’s left of her mother’s circulatory system.

I’ve seen year-old French Bread that was softer than those withered limbs. Swing that thing the wrong way and it either disintegrates or takes someone’s eye out. It’s hard to tell without feeling it in the aquarium touch pool.

That kid she’s holding is a vampire with the worst kind of luck. The luck of living with a green drink-loving pilates master when all she needs is Honey Boo Boo’s mom.

Who Is Creepier, Denise Richards Or Her Unibrow Baby?

Yesterday Denise Richards, 40, Tweeted a picture of her with her new baby, Eloise, accompanied by the words “good morning,” and I must say it terrifies me.

I’m not saying Denise Richards or her baby are ugly (okay maybe it is, but that’s temporary) I am saying that this photo in particular is very bizarre.

You know what else is terrifying? Denise Richards has three daughters now, and still isn’t done poppin’ ’em out like a rusty Jurassic Park log ride…

Continue reading “Who Is Creepier, Denise Richards Or Her Unibrow Baby?”