Jessica Biel’s Engagement Geology

I’m pretentious (or maybe just stoopid) to write “geology” instead of “rock” or engagement ring. I only wanted to talk about how Jessica Biel’s ring from Justin Timberlake looks like costume jewelry.

OR a ringwatch? Or Green Lantern’s source of power. In case you forgot, JT and JB began dating in January 2007, broke up in March 2011 then got back together just four months later, in July.

I must assume that’s granny Sadie Bomar’s ring, with special sentimental value? As Paris Hilton would say “That’s HUGE,” in a commercial way…  Continue reading “Jessica Biel’s Engagement Geology”

Denial Ain’t Just A River In Egypt, Miley

So maybe Miley Cyrus isn’t engaged. She may wear what looks like a wedding ring on her fourth digit but she’s adamant about it not being anything of the sort.

She’s repulsed that you’d think so because it’s “a topaz.” GOSH.

Rumors continue to swirl despite her rampant denial and continuous efforts on Twitter, like referring to Liam Hemsworth as her “boyfriend.”

Perhaps Tweeting a picture of your hand spread out like a Thanksgiving turkey with a diamond in it isn’t the best idea? Continue reading “Denial Ain’t Just A River In Egypt, Miley”

Matthew McConaughey Engaged To Camila Alves

On Christmas day Matthew McConaughey proposed to his Brazilian model girlfriend of nearly six years. The announcement came from his WhoSay account with the words “Just asked Camila to marry me,” beneath this picture of them smooching it up.

Camila Alves and Matt McConaughey have two children both under the ages of four, in 2008 the notorious bachelor told People that he always wanted to be a father and it just took “the right woman and the right time to make it happen.”

Now it seems that it’s taken the same “right” woman for him to tie the knot with as well. I do agree with the backwards method. Have a kid or two first, get married later. Who wants two lifetime commitments at once?.

Britney Spears Is Engaged To That One Dude

You know, the guy from the “Criminal” video? It turns out, that’s not Britney’s dad. In all seriousness, Jason Trawick, her former manager has been with her romantically since 2009 and he’s only, hmm, 10 years older than her.

Trawick proposed on the 15th in L.A. with a modest (as in, not disgustingly decadent) 3- carat ring.

The two celebrated not only the engagement but Trawick’s 40th birthday at Planet Hollywood in Vegas on Friday night.

Continue reading “Britney Spears Is Engaged To That One Dude”

Zooey D. Splits From Husband, Frances Bean Engaged

In other random rock star/rock offspring news… Zooey Deschanel, who married Death Cab For Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard in 2009, is getting a divorce while Frances Bean Cobain is getting hitched!

I know the two are in no way related but I was very saddened by the new of Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon’s break-up, so I immediately began wracking my brain for legitimate adorable rock or indie couples of today.

Guess what I came up with? Several weeks ago, I thought of Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard! And now they’re getting divorced too. So aggravating, there are no notable romantic musician-pairings left besides Brody Dalle and Josh Homme.

Continue reading “Zooey D. Splits From Husband, Frances Bean Engaged”

Elizabeth Hurley And Kenan Thompson Are Getting Married (But Not To Eachother)

SNL star Kenan Thompson, 33, is engaged to Christina Evangeline, who I thought was a model but states clearly on her Twitter, “I’m not a model. I never claimed to be. I had 2 layouts in Maxim…For fun. I have a degree, ambition, for me, isn’t skin deep.”

Thompson and Evangeline had previously dated for over a year, and are rumored to tie the knot as soon as November 11th.(Maybe she’s prego?)

In other engagement/marriage news, Elizabeth Hurley, 46, is engaged to her cricket-playing boyfriend “spin king” Shane Warne. Warne, 42, proposed over dinner at the hotel restaurant at St. Andrews golf course in Scotland…

Continue reading “Elizabeth Hurley And Kenan Thompson Are Getting Married (But Not To Eachother)”

Gene Simmons Finally Put A Ring On It

And by “it,” I mean former Playboy Playmate Shannon Tweed. After 28 years as a couple, two kids, and all the infidelity issues of a white-tailed jackrabbit, Gene Simmons finally decided to get hitched.

Simmons, 62, proposed in Belize. The wedding will take place at Beverly Hills Hotel.

The Kiss frontman is famous for saying things like:

“Marriage? Forget it. It`s not for me.”

The proposal took place in July, but nobody knew the exact answer that Shannon Tweed gave until now…

Continue reading “Gene Simmons Finally Put A Ring On It”

Tiki Barber Is Engaged

Former NFL star and RB for the New York Giants, Tiki Barber got engaged over the weekend to Traci Lynn Johnson, the woman he may or may not have cheated on his pregnant wife with in 2009.

Barber retired in 20o7 but is looking to make a comeback in the 2011 season though he has not been chosen by a team yet.

Traci Lynn Johnson was an intern with NBC while Tiki was working as a football analyst. He tells the media that his marriage to Ginny Cha, who he’d been married to since 1999, fell apart long before he dated Traci Lynn.

Continue reading “Tiki Barber Is Engaged”

Opposites Attract Marriage Alert (Amber Tamblyn Edition)

28 year old Amber Tamblyn (Joan Of Arcadia, Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants) is engaged!

Semi-reliable source US Weekly reported that Tamblyn and comedian David Cross, 47, are engaged, to each other. It happened a few weeks ago, but was only recently confirmed by Tamblyn’s rep. Neither of them have ever been married before.

Continue reading “Opposites Attract Marriage Alert (Amber Tamblyn Edition)”