Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [9-22-12]

You’re welcome in advance. Here’s Eve Longoria’s bare ass. (Daily Mail)

Taylor Swift buys Conor Kennedy ice cream sundaes, writes him love notes. (Celebitchy)

Linebacker Bart Scott threatens to “smack the shit out of” Jets writer. (Deadspin)

JWOWW is engaged to that Roger guy? Not surprising. (Radar Online)

Party rockers LMFAO on hiatus. (Rolling Stone)

Clint Eastwood may talk to empty chairs, but he loves the gays. (ohmyGAHH!)

Friends of Amanda Bynes angry at her parents for not helping more. (TMZ)

Gaga wears a pink and blue fatsuit, quotes Monroe. (ONTD!)

Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan booed after saying he wants to repeal ObamaCare. (ABC)

Jesus, Mario Lopez, Just Be My Gay Best Friend Already

It’s a bold statement, me saying that Mario Lopez isn’t gay when you’re looking at a picture of him covered in paint, posing in booty shorts and expressing himself with his hands…

He’s just one of those guys, like Ryan Seacrest, or Eli Roth. You’re convinced they’re gay, but there’s a lot of evidence to the contrary.

The underwear line he’s working for in this picture is called “Muchachomalo” and he says it’s “masculine with an edge.” An edge of estrogen, maybe.

I just imagine Mario and I prancing around the nude beach we have here (Rooster Rock, you can guess its nickname), me fully clothed and him in his gold paint, looking for a potential top to his plastic-covered bottom.  Continue reading “Jesus, Mario Lopez, Just Be My Gay Best Friend Already”