Old Ass Michael Jordan Expecting Fourth Child

20131130-182547.jpgGood news! Michael Jordan’s ancient balls are still magical. The 50-year-old basketball legend and model wife Yvette Preito announced via Us Weekly that they are expecting their first child together, and grandpa-aged Jordan’s fourth overall. (Not-so-great-news for the various women who have unsuccessfully sued Jordan for child support.)

To get an idea of just how old of a dad he is, when this youngest son/daughter is 25 he’ll be 75, and by the time he or she is 50, like 2013-edition MJ, he or she will almost certainly be fatherless.

Just two more kids and he’ll have one for each championship ring….

Add Fatherhood to the List of Things You Love About Channing Tatum

Channing Tatum wife JennaSexiest man alive Channing Tatum and most-envied woman alive Jenna Dewan-Tatum are expecting their first child! After speculation that Dewan was sporting a baby bump at VH1 Divas, representatives for the couple told People that they are “pleased to announce” the arrival of a tiny charming potato sometime next year.

Channing said in an interview just last month that they were both “ready” for children.

“The first number that pops into my head is three, but I just want one to be healthy and then we’ll see where we go after that. It’s really easy for us guys to say, ‘I want like 15 kids.’ Jenna will be like, ‘Well you better get another wife!'”  Continue reading “Add Fatherhood to the List of Things You Love About Channing Tatum”

Another Pregnant Playmate, Another Baby That Isn’t Hugh Hefner’s

I’m no expert on the exact number of Playboy Playmates and former Hef girlfriends who weren’t infiltrated by the gob of dusty cobwebs he calls sperm, but I assume many women had children after they escaped the villainous watch of robotic peacock butlers.

That would be a great title for a porn. Can you not see Escape From The Grotto sweeping the AVN Awards?

I bring all this up because Holly Madison, #1 girlfriend and star of The Girls Next Door, Holly’s World, and Vegas burlesque show Peepshow, is pregnant.  Continue reading “Another Pregnant Playmate, Another Baby That Isn’t Hugh Hefner’s”

Bad News For Fans Awaiting New Songs – Adele Is Pregnant!

Adele announced the news Friday on her website that her and boyfriend Simon Konecki have conceived a baby…

“I’m delighted to announce that Simon and I are expecting our first child together. I wanted you to hear the news direct from me, obviously we’re over the moon and very excited but please respect our privacy at this precious time. Yours always, Adele xx.”

Konecki is the CEO of the charity Drop4Drop, which looks to help countries in need gain access to drinkable water. Hopefully his girlfriend has quit that nasty smoking habit of hers.  Continue reading “Bad News For Fans Awaiting New Songs – Adele Is Pregnant!”

Freaky/Geeky Linda Cardellini Is Pregnant!

My favorite and somehow one of the least famous Freaks And Geeks stars (was also on ER and had a memorable part in Grandma’s Boy) is officially with child!

Freaks And Geeks is of course the brilliant show backed by Judd Apatow which was cancelled after its first season.

It starred Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Samm Levine, Martin Starr, Busy Phillipps, James Franco AND even Ben Foster and Samaire Armstrong in minor reoccurring roles. All before anyone knew who the hell they were…

Continue reading “Freaky/Geeky Linda Cardellini Is Pregnant!”

Second Child For Iron Man!

Robert Downey Jr. and his wife Susan Levin/Downey are expecting their first child early next year! It is Robert’s second child, after his first son Indio with ex-wife Deborah Falconer.

Robert’s rep told the press today,

“Robert and Susan could not be more excited over this news. They can’t wait to welcome this new baby into their wonderful family.”

I think I know how they made the kid too, I’m getting a psychic Miss Cleo visual. Looks like it happened on the red carpet sometime, overexcitement for one of his films?

Maybe something that has yet to come out, like The Avengers or Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows?

Continue reading “Second Child For Iron Man!”