Justin Bieber’s Mom is Truly Always Watching Him

Justin Bieber eye tattoo Justin Bieber just got a tattoo of his mom’s eye on his inner elbow because even though they probably don’t talk that much and it won’t keep him from spitting on people and turning yellow buckets yellow-er, he technically loves her because she’s responsible for his fame and owns his soul forever.

And it’s actually the best tattoo on his gross gangly body.

I guess he’s moving towards looking more like the perfect combination of fully-tatted Rob Van Winkle of today and circa 1990 “Ice Ice Baby” flat-top Vanilla/brunette Dolph Lundgren.

Speaking of people named Rob, Justin’s message on Instagram, “Moms always watching,” really reminds me of when Rob Kardashian said that it’s weird having Kris Jenner’s face on his right arm because that’s the one he employs solely for whacking and taking handouts from his sisters.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber’s Mom is Truly Always Watching Him”

New Pigment Surgery Lasers Away Brown Eyes

Yes Hitler’s dream of a blue-eyed nation is finally becoming a possibility, with a new surgery called “Lumineyes,” developed by Gregg Homer of California, you can look like Steve Sanders, Ellen DeGeneres or your pet Siamese cat.

In a few years you’ll be able to surgically alter your eye color, from brown to blue. The procedure costs $5,000 and took 10 years for Homer to perfect. Here’s how it works:

A computer scans your eye and uses a laser to “disrupt” (erase) the brown part of your iris. Since there is blue pigment in everyone’s eye, the laser looks to remove the top layer of melanin.

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Poor Steven Tyler, Fell, Got Back Up, Turned Into Gollum

According to a study conducted at University of Michigan, a third of people age 60 and older have difficulty getting in and out of the bath or shower, even with safety equipment installed.

Do you know how old American Idol/Aerosmith frontlady Steven Tyler is? 63. So of course I believe him when he says that he hasn’t fallen off the wagon. He wasn’t drunk or high when he fell in the shower, he’s just old and frail, like Gollum.

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Naomi Campbell’s Birthday Present, An Eye Mansion

Yeah, no big deal, Naomi is turning 41 so her billionaire Ruski boyfriend, Vladislav Doronin, decided to build her an enormous “eco-mansion” in the shape of the Egyptian Eye of Horus.

It has around 25 rooms and five “lounges” and is said to be economically self-sufficient in its water, energy and food…

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