Renée Zellweger’s ‘New Face’ is Probably Just Due to Weight Loss

renee zellweger new faceWhen I first heard about Renée Zellweger’s new face, I was like, umm, where does one obtain such a thing and did she get a BOGO like maybe she has an extra one in the vault like a winter face and a summer face.

Maybe one for Fall that’s more round or even maple-leaf shaped and another for cold season with a pine fresh scent and a special lacquer so it doesn’t melt in front of the fireplace?

All I know is, I saw her face circa now and it is drastically different than circa 2000 whatever RZ. For a second I went straight to plastic surgery, but a lot of people, including Renée Zellweger herself say it’s simply because she lost weight. Via PEOPLE:

“People don’t know me in my 40s,” says Zellweger, who prefers to lead a quiet life with Bramhall and a close circle of friends. Recently, she pitched in to help her pal and longtime publicist, Nanci Ryder, who is battling ALS, at the ALS Association Golden West Chapter’s annual Walk to Defeat ALS in Los Angeles.

“People don’t know me [as] healthy for a while,” says Zellweger. “Perhaps I look different. Who doesn’t as they get older?! Ha. But I am different. I’m happy.”

Continue reading “Renée Zellweger’s ‘New Face’ is Probably Just Due to Weight Loss”

This is the Face Taylor Swift Makes When Selena Gomez Acts a Fool

2013 Billboard Music Awards - Press RoomTaylor swift surprise Billboard awards
I’m just kidding. Those are just the faces she makes when she wins a bunch of awards.

One second of backstory: Swifty sat with Selena Gomez during the 2013 Billboard Awards last night. After the show, she witnessed her friend (Selena) planting a kiss on Justin Bieber.

You see where I’m going with this? Crazy USC Trojan style marching band drumroll please…
Taylor Swift Selena Gomez tongue Justin bieber kiss gif face
There you have it. The actual face she makes when her friends make bad decisions. Ew. Cooties.

Leonardo DiCaprio Does Jack Nicholson’s Eyebrows

Leonardo DiCaprio Nicholson impressionSorry if the headline deceived you, but Jack Nicholson did not get his brows tweezed by Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s more likely that Leo ripped the hairs and responsible facial muscles out of Jack’s face during some downtime on The Departed.

When asked if he did impersonations on a Japanese talk show, DiCaprio said “Well, I do these Jack Nicholson eyebrows” and proceeded to make the face that scored Nicholson a role in 1989’s Batman.

Earlier in the interview, he said that he only dates women with “great” senses of humor.

Continue reading “Leonardo DiCaprio Does Jack Nicholson’s Eyebrows”

Blue Ivy Has a Face (With a Mouth and Eyes!)

Blue Ivy Carter faceJay-Z and Beyonce may soon be able to retire and live off a steady income generated by road dog, friend and daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. Before birth, the announcement of Ivy’s existence almost broke Google and Twitter and made the 2011 VMAs the most watched in MTV’s history…

After birth, BIC’s heartbeat and screams on “Glory” helped her become the youngest person credited on a Billboard-charting song (watch the throne, Quvenzhané Wallis). Now her face, which we already saw last February, is causing a succinct, universal “awwww.”

Crashing servers left and right is Ivy’s unimpressed upside-down smile, taken from the HBO documentary, Life is But a Dream. Looks familiar, huh?

Russki Couple Get Matching Face Tattoos 24 Hours After Meeting

Russian face tattoo womanTrue love in Russia! Lesya and Ruslan Toumaniantz decided to get five inch-high tattoos of each other’s names after spending a single day together.

This is great because it’s probably really hard for them to remember who they’re dating.

Ruslan, a tattoo artist who originally “met” ladylove Lesya in a chat room, was so taken with her figure/personality that he splooged Gothic ink blotches all over her face cheeks (and his own). –>PHOTOS HERE<–

Usually regret sets in months, maybe years later, but I have a feeling 30 seconds to that 24 hours is more fitting. Somewhere near a pigeon cage, Mike Tyson just said “Oh sh*t, you went too far.”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-17-13]

Nicki Minaj american idol faceLess people tuned into this year’s American Idol auditions than last year’s. (Celebuzz)

Kim Kardashian tired of the “fake and fraud rumors,” would love to be divorced. (People)

Pauline Phillips, otherwise known as “Dear Abby,” dead at 94. (New York Times)

Nicole Kidman prefers her ass-obsessed pervs non-violent. (ohmyGAHH!)

Cheating husband Eddie Cibrian has cheating wife LeAnn Rimes worried. (Evil Beet)

The Queen bought Kate and William a $10 million country house. (Celebrity Dirty Laundry)

Honey Boo Boo’s Uncle Poodle has been HIV-positive since May of last year. (Us Weekly)

A Comprehensive Guide To Britney Spears’ X-Factor Faces

Everyone must have noticed the look of fear and distaste Britney Spears permanently has plastered on her face during her judging stint on season two of The X Factor

After five episodes of close examination, I’ve determined that the faces mean nothing, it’s just her way of coping with being on TV.

Granted, when children or teenagers announce themselves onstage, she lights up like a well-carved jack-o’-lantern.

Most of the time she just looks like she smelled some really rancid garbage. So I ask you, who the hell placed the trash can full of year-old yogurt, eggs, milk and steak next to Britney?  Continue reading “A Comprehensive Guide To Britney Spears’ X-Factor Faces”

Funny Video: Al Roker Won The Staring Contest We Didn’t Enter

Al Roker’s face froze in a look of surprise for 16 entire seconds on The Today Show after co-host Savannah Guthrie make a relatively non-shocking comment about “leaving room for the holy ghost” when dancing, to Matt Lauer.

While many assumed it was a “glitch in the Matrix” or that NBC’s newsbot broke down, Roker explained that the director “egged him on” and that he had a “brain freeze.”  Continue reading “Funny Video: Al Roker Won The Staring Contest We Didn’t Enter”

McKayla Maroney Is Still Hilariously Aloof

Olympic gold-winning gymnasts Jordyn Wieber, Gabby Douglas, Aly Raisman, Kyla Ross and McKayla Maroney appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman Tuesday evening.

The “fierce five” laughed and joked with Dave, but one girl in particular stood out for her sassy comments. You guessed it – her royal unimpressed-ness, McKayla, queen of Tumblr and one liners.

On having a lot of energy at a young age she quipped “I think we’re special.” 

And, when asked what age a gymnast’s skills diminish, she simply responded, “Like, 50. I think that’s the limit.”  Continue reading “McKayla Maroney Is Still Hilariously Aloof”

McKayla Maroney Is Not Impressed With You

Scientific American posted an article yesterday called “Why Bronze Medalists Are Happier Than Silver Winners.” As you can imagine, for silver medalists it has a lot to do with coming so close to winning the gold, whereas Bronze medalists are just happy to have placed at all.

See the all-around in gymnastics, where Russians Viktoria Komova and Aliya Mustafina came in second and third.

Mustafina, who is generally called a “diva” by everyone including Bob Costas, held her bronze proudly, smiling and waving while her teammate Komova unsuccessfully tried to hold back the tears.

Another case is McKayla Maroney, a strong favorite to win vault who lost to Romania’s Sandra Izbașa and made a very memorable face during her medal ceremony…

Continue reading “McKayla Maroney Is Not Impressed With You”

James Holmes, Spacing Out In Court

It’s really amazing how websites like News Track India are now calling James Holmes “a deeply disturbed individual.”

You didn’t realize it after you heard about the 71 victims? I mean what details did you need to come to that conclusion besides the bare bones of the story?  He had guns and tear gas. He killed people. Of course he’s disturbed.

On top the obvious – calling himself “The Joker” and reportedly spitting all over his solitary confinement cell – you can see it in his face during his first court appearance.  Continue reading “James Holmes, Spacing Out In Court”

Drake’s ‘Oh S**t, There’s An Earthquake!’ Face

Ashton Kutcher returned as a host for a special episode of Punk’d that aired before the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday to play pranks on Drake and Kim Kardashian.

In all his manic bravado, he brought up one important point, this redesigned season of the show has kind of sucked in that three of the victims (Rob Dyrdek, Joe Jonas, and Aimee Teegarden) figured out they were getting Punk’d.

Kutcher said, “What’s happened thus far has been a fuckin’ travesty.”

“I think it’s time to step it up a notch. We’ve been running at like a seven thus far, and I think it’s time to take it to like a 14.”  Continue reading “Drake’s ‘Oh S**t, There’s An Earthquake!’ Face”

Let’s Mourn The Loss Of Lara Flynn Boyle’s Face

Nineties sex symbol Lara Flynn Boyle was photographed in Los Angeles on Saturday looking more like MADtv’s Ms. Swan than the woman who once graced the cover of Rolling Stone with her female Twin Peak‘s castmates.

I was reading what one of my favorite “gossip” websites, Pajiba, had to say about it and Dustin Rowles proved a good point. He said:

“When I see pictures of Lara Flynn Boyle or Meg Ryan in their current state, I don’t feel venomous…What I feel is a sort of empathetic helplessness. I feel sad, not necessarily for the way Lara Flynn Boyle looks now, but about the circumstances that drove her to this.”

And while I’d love to throw up comparisons photos of her next to a grumpy alien, I too feel sad that she can’t handle aging naturally. Continue reading “Let’s Mourn The Loss Of Lara Flynn Boyle’s Face”

Spears And Lohan Face-Morph Videos

A YouTube user has made two videos chronicling Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan from their childhood years to now.

Seeing someone age before your eyes is never fun (the AgingBooth app scares the scheisse out of me) but it’s especially terrifying with these two.

Britney, from “…Baby One More Time” to her 24-hour friendship with Paris Hilton and two-year marriage to Kevin Federline.

It’s still painful seeing these events all at once, especially the bald incident and Dollar Tree weave.

Lindsay’s is actually worse. “25 Years In 60 Seconds” is enough to put a few extra creases in my forehead. It’s as though Louisiana-born Britney always had that hillbilly gene and propensity to be tan and sausage-y. Continue reading “Spears And Lohan Face-Morph Videos”

Deena Cortese Changed Her Face/Body

Deena Cortese, one half of “team meatball” and replacement to Angelina in season three of Jersey Shore looks very different lately.

She showed up at MTV’s Spring Break party and immediately sparked plastic surgery rumors.

Cortese had veneers put on her teeth and told Twitter followers that she changed her diet, thinned her eyebrows and improved her makeup skills.

“Just to let ya know..I have not got any plastic surgery yes in the past i have had a nose job and i am not against plastic surgery at all…I am not afraid to ADMIT i got plastic surgery so if I do, I’ll let u know.”

“I thinned my eyebrows and lost weight thanks to the @freshdiet and learned how to do my makeup. Lighter eye shadow brings out my eyes and highlight under my eyes gives an effect of higher cheek bones. The end.”

Lady Gaga And Lykke Li, Tell The Difference

Twenty five year-old Swedish musician Lykke Li (full name Timotej Svensson Zachrisson) does not like being compared to Lady Gaga.

“There’s nothing about her music that touches me. I’d rather duet with Leonard Cohen. I like older music.”

She doesn’t seem like a fan of pop music at all so you’d have to assume she also wouldn’t like being compared to Lady G in the looks department. At times the two could not be more different. Gaga with her sequins and vapid pretentiousness in “Marry The Night” and Lykke Li with her arty witch mist in “I Follow Rivers.”  Continue reading “Lady Gaga And Lykke Li, Tell The Difference”

Justin Bieber’s Face, In Pubes

That’s right, there’s an art niche for everything. Mark Zuckerberg’s manhood out of a hanger, Britney Spears naked on a bearskin rug and now Justin Bieber’s face out of global pubes.

Artist Fox Bronte, known for his ‘angry woman tampon’ sculpture and Lady Gaga genitalia painting requested that people from around the world mail him their pubes so he could put them together in the above fashion.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber’s Face, In Pubes”